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  1. #121
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    I'm sad for those babies, innocent in all this, and should not have had to live through that.

    I'm sad for that mother because she was sick, simple as that, not in her right mind, and she has to live with that.

    All I ever say to anyone who says " I can't understand how you just don't get help" or " if that was me I'd do this or that"..... I absolutely hope you never experience depression or mental illness because its the most terrifying, debilitating, sad and lonely thing I've had to endure, and I truly wouldn't wish it on anybody.

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  3. #122
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    Quote Originally Posted by Katness View Post
    I'm sad for those babies, innocent in all this, and should not have had to live through that.

    I'm sad for that mother because she was sick, simple as that, not in her right mind, and she has to live with that.

    All I ever say to anyone who says " I can't understand how you just don't get help" or " if that was me I'd do this or that"..... I absolutely hope you never experience depression or mental illness because its the most terrifying, debilitating, sad and lonely thing I've had to endure, and I truly wouldn't wish it on anybody.
    Well said again!

  4. #123
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kimberleygal1 View Post
    I just don't understand it nor can I comprehend how people can feel so unhappy and get into a depressive state. And why do many not seek help? Surely if you are feeling down go to a dr, talk to trusted loved ones and seek assistance.
    Because they are unwell. It is an illness, not a choice.

    Do you struggle to comprehend why people with cancer don't just stop having cancer and get better? Or why diabetics can't just stop moaning and make some insulin?

    I seriously doubt that most people would choose to be mentally ill. It doesn't sound particularly easy. And given how difficult mental illness can often be to diagnose and treat, I sincerely doubt that it is as simple as "feel down, see dr, get better". It would be nice if it were though.

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  6. #124
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    I had a CMHN visit me at home regularly for a whole year because I requested it but still she never picked up on the seriousness of how bad I was. she knew i had PND, that is why she visited, but i just dont think she realised how bad i was otherwise im sure she would of carted me off to the looney bin sooner. All she saw was my clean clothes, clean house (thanks cleaner) and content babies. I was too ashamed to really let her know how bad things were although I did hint at it in a half ar$e way. Even though she never referred me on to someone else, She actually helped me a great deal by just visiting me, especially as i'd slowly cut myself off from the world. She would always lift my mood with her visits.

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  8. #125
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    Quote Originally Posted by risfaerie View Post
    Because they are unwell. It is an illness, not a choice.

    Do you struggle to comprehend why people with cancer don't just stop having cancer and get better? Or why diabetics can't just stop moaning and make some insulin?

    I seriously doubt that most people would choose to be mentally ill. It doesn't sound particularly easy. And given how difficult mental illness can often be to diagnose and treat, I sincerely doubt that it is as simple as "feel down, see dr, get better". It would be nice if it were though.
    It's also not a situation where you just take a pill and get better. Some medications don't work at all for some people, some end up more depressed from certain medications, etc. It can take months to find the right anti-depressant or combination of anti-depressants and dosages that works for you.

    ETA: anti-depressants also average about a month before they start working, once you figure out the pill/s and dosage that works for you.
    Last edited by Kirst33; 15-08-2013 at 22:54.

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  10. #126
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    Those poor little darlings breaks my heart RIP babies you're in a better place now

  11. #127
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I agree judgement from strangers will help no one. Neither will compassion though.
    I disagree.

    Compassion most certainly will help.

    At the time, if someone, anyone in this woman's life had treated her with compassion, things might be completely different. If someone had told her she wasn't evil or selfish or immature, that she was ill, that she needed help, then maybe she would have felt loved enough to get the help she needed, maybe those babies would have ended up with the healthy mother they deserved.

    Maybe if the aftermath of this tragedy is handled with compassion, then mothers who are going through this right now, will realise that they have no reason to feel embarrassed or ashamed, that there are good mummies who are just going through a bad situation. Maybe if women felt they would be treated with compassion and receive support, then more would be willing to come forward and seek the help they need.

    Sent from my HTC One X using The Bub Hub mobile app

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  13. #128
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    That's exactly right. Compassion goes a long, long way. Certainly further than judgement. Angry judgement has never helped anybody.

  14. #129
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    [QUOTE=Ffrenchknickers;7394019]Because it is that very depressive state that changes everything. ]

    This. Kimberleygal1, look up 'help negation'.

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  16. #130
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    I'm honestly not trying to be argumentative here, I am in genuine wonder. I wonder if there is so much empathy for the mum in this story because she is a female. Because she is 'one of us', a mum. The public reaction I am seeing on the news does not match up with What Im reading on BH: which makes me think: it is a rather narrow slither of society represented on BH (mums, many of who are either bored, lonely, have free time to spare and/or are probably predisposed to mental problems). The majority of BH readers are probably predisposed to have values and experiences that make them empathise with a mother who has killed her kids.

    I wonder if everyone would be as compassionate if Adrian Ernest Bayley claimed he had a mental condition (I don't understand how someone could rape and murder if they weren't mentally ill). What about all the dads that kill their kids? Do people have as much compassion for them?

    Once again not trying to be argumentative on purpose. Genuinely interested in understanding why there are different views on this.

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