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  1. #111
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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    Oh that is easy - when I was in a really bad way, I didn't follow up with MCHN's or GPs, didn't go to mothers group etc. It's easy to do.
    I've avoided my therapists before when I've been really bad, kind of like I was embarrassed for them to see me that bad, crazy since that's what they're there for! Then as I missed more appts I got more embarrassed and scared to go back.

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  3. #112
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    I know you've worked in cp and I don't blame them. Especially in areas like where I work, they're overloaded and understaffed. But the kiesha case was a stuff up. I know her grandmother and her biological father (who died last year) and they fought to get her back but it didn't happen.

  4. #113
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zabella View Post
    Yes, which is why any non attendance/compliance should be a big red flag that something is wrong. As a mother, I would never miss these appointments. I would see this as a big warning sign that things were not going well. Our MCH nurse will even visit our home if she has any worries. Once I couldn't make an appointment as our car broke down, and when I called to explain she organized to come and visit the next day.
    I am high risk, and I guess she just wanted to make sure I wasn't hiding anything or avoiding her.
    I don't think it's a big red flag.

    My 2nd and 3rd children have only seen an mchn once not long after birth. I don't have time for them.

  5. #114
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    Quote Originally Posted by RipperRita View Post
    Hey VP..
    If you ever really want to understand mental illness I'm happy to chat. I'm very open about what I have been through even though it is one of the most shameful and darkest periods of my life.
    I read the part where the psychiatrists argue the brisbane mum has moments where she plays computer games, feeds her older kids etc so can't possibly be severely depressed.

    All through my illness I had trouble finding someone to help me because I still looked "okay". I still showered, brushed my teeth/ hair, put on make up. My kids were still obviously cared for. They were clean, fed, not distressed or neglected in obvious way. And yet almost everyday I would fight depressive thoughts and feel like there was no other option but to take my life and to stop my babies suffering I would take them too. Normal people don't think that.

    I guess my point is like with everything in life, mental illness can manifest itself in many different kinds of ways. Your not bat sh*t crazy every minute of the day. Some days I did actually cope okay, some days I was acutely aware of how "not right in the head I was" and the guilt, shame and fear would often drive me deeper into depression. Some days I was so close to the edge a breeze would have blown me over.

    ive said it before. I never looked depressed.. And that was probably my biggest hurdle to finding help. I look like a "together" mum. If god forbid I hadn't have gotten help and done something unimaginable to myself or my babies I'm exactly the kind of mum that would be burned at the stake in the media. I'm the perfectly dressed mum at school pick ups that everyone on here bishes about. I'm the mum that lives in a nice house, whose dh earns good money, drives a SUV, who has a cleaner and had a nanny...... And even with all of this, I still got PND. Because mental illness doesn't discriminate who it targets.

    When my family finally realised (and it took a long while) that I was so dangerously unwell. I was lucky enough to have them find me the best hospital and psychiatrists, dh hired me a cleaner and a nanny and payed for me to attend a mental health day program to learn coping strategies.

    I dare say that poor brisbane mum didn't have anyone in her life that cared enough to step up and point her in the right direction and sadly it sounds like she also never had access to the same quality mental health care that was afforded to me. I think she was let down on so many levels and while I suspect she may suffer for the rest of her life, I hope she finds some kind of peace and forgiveness for herself. Her babies never should have died and they probably wouldn't have if someone had of helped her sooner.
    So well said!

  6. #115
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    I don't think it's a big red flag.

    My 2nd and 3rd children have only seen an mchn once not long after birth. I don't have time for them.
    I guess my expectation is that they will be able to recognize the difference between a coping, confident parent such as yourself, and a parent who is clearly struggling and direct their resources accordingly.
    I also guess this would be easier said than done. :-)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zabella View Post
    Yes, which is why any non attendance/compliance should be a big red flag that something is wrong. As a mother, I would never miss these appointments. I would see this as a big warning sign that things were not going well. Our MCH nurse will even visit our home if she has any worries. Once I couldn't make an appointment as our car broke down, and when I called to explain she organized to come and visit the next day.
    I am high risk, and I guess she just wanted to make sure I wasn't hiding anything or avoiding her.
    The twins were 18 months though I think when they passed. Most parents have stopped taking their kids to the routine weigh ins with the CMHN. I know by then I had. We got the vaxxes done by the dr, and med pros (that I'm aware) don't have access to the immunisation register as far as viewing them. They can input data, or sign the blue book. But to my knowledge they can't access files as such. So they don't know the child may have missed vaxxes and there could be concerns.
    Last edited by delirium; 15-08-2013 at 22:23. Reason: adding

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  9. #117
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    I don't think it's a big red flag.

    My 2nd and 3rd children have only seen an mchn once not long after birth. I don't have time for them.
    I agree.

    My son hasn't been to a mchn appt since he was 6 weeks old. This was not due to PND, I found the appts pointless and my particular mchn didn't seem to know a whole lot about anything.

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  11. #118
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    I know you've worked in cp and I don't blame them. Especially in areas like where I work, they're overloaded and understaffed. But the kiesha case was a stuff up. I know her grandmother and her biological father (who died last year) and they fought to get her back but it didn't happen.
    Oh I certainly don't think the system is perfect. And I acknowledge mistakes are made. I don't have a good knowledge of what happened in that case as far as why and when she was returned. Clearly it was a bad decision to return Kiesha and a very sad case. But I just wanted to point out that sometimes, what appears on the surface to be a death where CP did nothing, has far more info than the public realises.

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  13. #119
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    The twins were 18 months though I think when they passed. Most parents have stopped taking their kids to the routine weigh ins with the CMHN. I know by then I had. We got the vaxxes done by the dr, and med pros (that I'm aware) don't have access to the immunisation register as far as viewing them. They can input data, or sign the blue book. But to my knowledge they can't access files as such.
    Defiantly. The routine visits are at 12 and 18 months, that is a big crack to fall into, and as others have said, they don't always continue with their MHN visits for perfectly innocent reasons.
    I just think that after a tragedy like this, it is a good time to look at what might have been done to prevent it, and who may be in a position to do so in the future.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zabella View Post
    I just think that after a tragedy like this, it is a good time to look at what might have been done to prevent it, and who may be in a position to do so in the future.
    I agree more needs to be done. I don't think making visits to the CMHN should be mandatory. Especially with DD I stopped seeing them as they were nasty about my switch to formula and were making insinuations her little size was as a result. (Her father's family are all greyhounds and she got his genes).

    So as you say, most have completely innocent and valid reasons for not continuing with the visits.

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