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  1. #21
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    Jjj

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by grumpybump View Post
    So he stole from you?

    And if pp's are correct he stole your son's medication?

    You say he's a good dad but part of being a good dad is treating your child's mother right & role modelling a well adjusted partnership.

    I think it's time for a serious intervention and if thing don't change I'd be reevaluating the relationship.
    I agree. Doesn't sound like he's a good person at all.
    Op, you deserve better.

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    Dh & I have a joint bank account and all of the money is ours, but he still would never take money out of my wallet without asking first and vise versa.

    Being angry at him (especially considering his past) is not at all unreaaonable. I would absolutely be giving him what for.

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  5. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by SassyMummy View Post
    Sounds kind of like my ex.

    Neither of us smoked, but I was wearing underwear full of holes, while he would go buy new playstations and whatever whenever he wanted.

    The only money I got was FTB at that point, which was about $300 a fortnight. From this money, I had to buy all of our groceries and use it for anything DD or myself might need, including transport (I didn't have a car). We lived in the city, and $150 a week didn't cover much.

    Very glad to be out of that relationship. My partner now will let me know when he's unimpressed with my spending (I kind of like having money, so buy stuff all the time), but it's never a matter of him living it up and me scraping the bottom of the barrel.
    This was my relationship with the ex to a tee. It became very apparent that this was the case when we separated and we sorted out the bills and the assets, all of the bills were in my name, and ALL of the assets were in his
    Not good enough OP.

  6. #25
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    Thanks for everyone's replies
    Yes DP did take DS meds that issue has been sorted & he knows ill leave his as$ if he ever puts my boy at risk like that again.
    Missie mack. About not having access to $ his pay goes into his account & my FTB into mine so I dunno how I'd go about that. Knowing that he's not good with $ I certainly don't want a joint account
    Nancy blanket we are TTC ATM yes n that's why I'm addressing this issue now & looking for advice & ways to approach this & get through to him

    Temet. I like your idea of putting $ aside for myself I hadn't thought of that

    He is acting incredibly selfish n I wanna kick him up the rear end but I don't wanna walk out on our family n say I've had enough I'd prefer to try work through it & find a solution first.

  7. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by bpac View Post
    I am sorry you are feeling like this. I experienced this very early on in my relationship and basically we had a rip roaring argument, followed by days of silent treatment followed by a massive deep and meaningful followed but setting guidelines that we both had to follow and were both happy with.

    What does he say when you try to talk to him about it?
    When I try talk about it all his very yer I know yer I get what you're saying & says he goes without things too n why didn't I tell him I need xyz item he would have brought it for me etc can't stay on topic. :-/

  8. #27
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    Can you sit down with him and work out a budget together? Include all bills, rent, money for meds etc, food, car, fuel, kids school, kids clothes, insurance. Show him how much there is left after all this gets paid etc and work out how much spending money you can have each.

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  10. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by My Beloved Ones View Post
    Can you sit down with him and work out a budget together? Include all bills, rent, money for meds etc, food, car, fuel, kids school, kids clothes, insurance. Show him how much there is left after all this gets paid etc and work out how much spending money you can have each.
    I suggested this got out the note pad & pen n told him we would once kids were asleep unfortunately he's fallen asleep putting DD to sleep I think maybe ill write up a draft type budget & how I think would be positive & fair to use $ n leave on bench n see what he thinks of it ask him to add anything or comments etc. it's hard to dedicate the time to this with his work shifts & kids it kinda just gets put aside a lot but I feel we really need to address it

  11. #29
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    One thing I remember from reading something from Kochie was to plan regular 'financial dates'. Decide on a time to discuss your financial matters and do it.

    Fx you guys can work it out

    Sent from my GT-I9100T using The Bub Hub mobile app

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  13. #30
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    Thanks. I know my DP needs help & as such I went to his psychiatrist appointment with him last week I could have nearly strangled the psychiatrist. He dismissed all of my concerns spoke to me like I was stupid & about me like I was invisible said it was all because of the ADHD & In front if me said to my partner "well you're trying so now you just have to try keep your other half happy just do what she wants n you won't get in trouble" and also dismissed my concerns over dp temper & depressive moods saying to me " what more do u want from the bloke" whilst I was trying to explain how impulsive he can be & how his moods are erratic. & how he's not very good with $ etc. gave him his script & said "heres your script & just try to keep her happy & you won't have a problem ". I'm thinking maybe a different psychiatrist & looking on google now for budgeting courses or something similar I could ask DP to go to with me. To try get him to own some of the financial responsibility. & grow up a bit &be less selfish.
    Also looking into joint account with only 1 card & I have the card & see if he will agree to that ??? I dunno what else to try.


 

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