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  1. #51
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    Again, thanks everyone. I didn't realise just how many (singles excluded) would have different surnames. It's actually quite refreshing and shows how our society has evolved.

    I guess my main concern then now is the impact, if any, that my boys may feel. Right now they are too young, I assume it's not something they would even understand or ask about until school years. But I would just hope and pray they felt no embarrassment. VicPark your comment about different family types is a good one, thanks.

    MeetTheBluths - you're right, and I hate the link to his family too. DS2 is 5mths old and I've still yet to receive a visit, card, call or even text from his family. The whole surname just doesn't sit right with me at all anymore - it's purely because of the boys.

    I doubt I'd get very far, but I wonder if I should at least consider raising the subject with exDH about giving them my surname. I won't hyphenate, so it's either keep his or take on mine. I'd love for them to have mine, because I doubt I'll ever change it again, even if I ever remarried.

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    I'd say he owes you at least that much, pesca x

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  4. #53
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    My DS1 had his Bio fathers surname. I got married and my DH took my name. His ex wife and his son kept his old name.
    We now have had 3 children together who obviously all have my (our) last name.
    DS1 barely sees his father and DH has raised him since he was 15mths old (8 years ago).
    DS1 went through an identity crisis about 2 years ago and was referred to a psychologist who recommended he be allowed to change his name.
    I'm pleased the say that after 2 years the forms are being processed for him to be the same as us.
    I love us all being the same name and he is so much happier.

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    Pesca77  (13-08-2013),Stiflers Mom  (13-08-2013)

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    I don't have the same surname and my children and I've never encountered any judgement. On thinking about it whenever the matter has come up there is no tone of apology or embarrassment in my voice though which I think helps.

    I'm just comparing this to when I had DS and there were 2 doctors who spoke to me as though I was a 'silly little girl who'd gone and got herself pregnant'. I was 36 FFS. I might not have been married and my DS had a different surname but the relationship DF and I had/have was/is stronger and better than the majority of married couples!

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    Quote Originally Posted by faroutbrusselsprout View Post
    I got married and my DH took my name. His ex wife and his son kept his old name.
    I think that's so cool that your DH took your name!


    Quote Originally Posted by faroutbrusselsprout View Post
    DS1 barely sees his father and DH has raised him since he was 15mths old (8 years ago).
    DS1 went through an identity crisis about 2 years ago and was referred to a psychologist who recommended he be allowed to change his name.
    I'm pleased the say that after 2 years the forms are being processed for him to be the same as us.
    That's really good that it's going ahead. I hope you don't mind me asking, but did your DS1's bio dad end up giving consent for the name change, or was the recommendation from the psychologist & custody situation sufficient for a court order? (Sorry for being nosy! I'm just curious as I've had friends who've found it very difficult without consent from both parents)
    Last edited by 1234Guest; 13-08-2013 at 12:17.

  8. #56
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    I never changed my name legally, I use my married name socially and professionally though.

    I'm continuing to do so, even though my marriage is over.

    It's a really cool surname and I love it more than my maiden name, then the bonus of sharing it with my babies.

    I might change my mind.

    If I get remarried some day, I think it could be weird to keep it.

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    My kids are brown and I'm white. I already get questions about whether I'm 'minding them' or if they're adopted. I think retaining use of the surname helps me there.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BlissedOut View Post
    My kids are brown and I'm white. I already get questions about whether I'm 'minding them' or if they're adopted. I think retaining use of the surname helps me there.
    Ha! Definitely helps you somewhat BlissedOut. My sister may be in this situation too, she's as white/blonde as snow with a very dark Indian husband. Can't wait to see their combined bub in a few months!

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    Quote Originally Posted by BlissedOut View Post
    My kids are brown and I'm white. I already get questions about whether I'm 'minding them' or if they're adopted. I think retaining use of the surname helps me there.
    Can't believe till this day you have to face cr*p like that!!

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    I don't think I'll change my surname. I'm a teacher at my sons school and I like that it identifies him with me.

    Plus I just restocked on name labels and I only get our surname so I can grab out random containers for the three of us. haha

    I have changed from a Mrs --- to a Miss --- at school though. But I teach year one so sometimes I even get a Mr thrown in!! Lol

    I don't identify strongly with my maiden name though. I think if I was to change it to anything it'd be my mothers surname (which is back to her maiden name) so my grandparents surname.
    Last edited by Theboys&me; 13-08-2013 at 12:54.


 
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