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  1. #381
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    Still fun so glad your nt scan went well and you found an ob you like. Hope the remaining weeks are smooth and kind to you.

    Blue 23 weeks so fabulous passed the half way mark. You must be feeling great and so excited.

    Sunny you know what I think were in contact so often but hope bubs thriving.

    Amps/musical hope the babie are growing like weeds sleeping and eating like Angels. Hopefully your all lucky enough like I was with DS now 12 he slept and breastfeed like an angel.

    Soques good luck where did you decide to cycle with?

    Sharlee good luck with your next transfer. It's a tough road. I have had to have a 6-9 month break since our last cycle I was just to emotional sensitive bitter about the hand dealt I also took some time away from reading about IVF including the bubhub boards. It wasn't positive or conducive to it assisting our cycle attempts to be successful in the end I was so anxious. 5 miscarriages and losing Noah in the 2nd trimester will leave you feeling like that though. I am feeling so refreshed and mentally strong compared to October last year, now I feel good about the next attempt Lucky stim number 8!!!

    AFM ironman is less then 4 weeks away I got a 2.4km swim done today 8km run felt amazing. I can't believe I am doing this I also signed up for the coral coast tri the week before ironman punish myself way to go haha. Back on the meds - melatonin dhea all the extras Wazza likes us to use. I get night terrors from melatonin at least 3 a week wake up screaming like a horror movie scream in real life I find it hard to scream but in my sleep I do it great and repeated screams one after the other after another and usually swinging my arms and hands around. It's really upsetting every time it happens I end up in tears. So I hate that.

    I have some changes coming up in our life which if they happen will be so exciting. So fingers crossed all pulls off.

  2. #382
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bellavista View Post
    Still fun so glad your nt scan went well and you found an ob you like. Hope the remaining weeks are smooth and kind to you.

    Blue 23 weeks so fabulous passed the half way mark. You must be feeling great and so excited.

    Sunny you know what I think were in contact so often but hope bubs thriving.

    Amps/musical hope the babie are growing like weeds sleeping and eating like Angels. Hopefully your all lucky enough like I was with DS now 12 he slept and breastfeed like an angel.

    Soques good luck where did you decide to cycle with?

    Sharlee good luck with your next transfer. It's a tough road. I have had to have a 6-9 month break since our last cycle I was just to emotional sensitive bitter about the hand dealt I also took some time away from reading about IVF including the bubhub boards. It wasn't positive or conducive to it assisting our cycle attempts to be successful in the end I was so anxious. 5 miscarriages and losing Noah in the 2nd trimester will leave you feeling like that though. I am feeling so refreshed and mentally strong compared to October last year, now I feel good about the next attempt Lucky stim number 8!!!

    AFM ironman is less then 4 weeks away I got a 2.4km swim done today 8km run felt amazing. I can't believe I am doing this I also signed up for the coral coast tri the week before ironman punish myself way to go haha. Back on the meds - melatonin dhea all the extras Wazza likes us to use. I get night terrors from melatonin at least 3 a week wake up screaming like a horror movie scream in real life I find it hard to scream but in my sleep I do it great and repeated screams one after the other after another and usually swinging my arms and hands around. It's really upsetting every time it happens I end up in tears. So I hate that.

    I have some changes coming up in our life which if they happen will be so exciting. So fingers crossed all pulls off.
    Thanks Bella you are a huge inspiration for me as far back as early last year I read your posts and I know your pain. I know you have struggled so hard and I am so glad your feeling better and are ready to try again. I hope your gorgeous puppy is doing well
    I have to admit we are struggling we are almost rock bottom. I have had some very bad dark thoughts and am not in a very happy place ATM. We are cycling again but we might need to seek extra help if it doesn't work. I am concerned that I have almost completely isolated myself from my family and friends - anyone that has a baby is the enemy.I have joined a few long time TTC pages to remove myself from the pain of seeing baby, baby and more babies. It just tears me apart reading everyone else's success and my constant fails.

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to Sharlee32 For This Useful Post:

    Bellavista  (14-05-2014)

  4. #383
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    Hello Ladies,

    I have been quiet for a while. Getting back on the IVF train again soon.
    It is encouraging to see some of you girls succeed. All the Best in your pregnancy.

    Take care.

  5. #384
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    Sharlee I am sorry to hear that its really taking a toll on you. I can honestly say that all the girls I know personally on here have all gone through that point too. It sucks til it works.

    I would highly suggest seeing someone to talk it through. It helped me so much. It’s a strange journey IVF, you know I don’t feel jealous of any IVF girls successes or babies. I see them as a sign of hope. But, I am not too proud to admit how devastated and hurt I was when my SIL was pregnant with her 2nd after she said she couldn’t care if she had another baby or not, for her to be pregnant through all the first 4 cycles and when we lost Noah her baby was born 4 days before just about sent me over the edge. I only just met her baby for the first time 4 months ago when she was 14 months old.


    I have done a lot of work with a wonderful counsellor to change my mind set. If the cycle doesn’t work it just hasn’t worked, not my failure, not my DH failure, it just didn’t happened that time for us. It still hurts, but I had to stop hurting myself by taking the blame and calling myself a failure. We simply aren’t failures, we get up and try again, that there is a warrior not a quitter accepting failure. Every single lady in this thread has picked themselves up more times than they care to remember. You’re a success for trying, incredibly brave for going back again and again. Praise yourself for all the things you do to give it the best shot.

    My puppy is gorgeous and I love him so much he really is very protective of me and mine. But also a sook if another dog barks at him.
    I know its hard I know its really really unfair. I wish you all the success int eh world for your next cycle.

    Good luck flaussie with your next cycle.



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    Amps  (14-05-2014),bluemarlin  (14-05-2014),Sharlee32  (14-05-2014)

  7. #385
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    Hi Ladies

    Sharlee32 - so sorry to hear you are having a hard time of things. As bellavista said, we have all been there at some point, some more than once. I also agree the best thing might be to talk to a professional about how you are feeling. I hope things get better for you soon and take care

    Bellavista - you make me feel so slack haha, I don't know how you do it. I really hope you do fantastic in your races, I'm sure you will.

    Stillfuntryin - so happy things are progressing well for you

    bluemarlin - can't believe you are over half way already

    afm - I'm just taking things one day at a time right now. I love Erin and couldn't imagine my life without her now, but there have been a couple of times where I've really struggled with everything. Dh and I are having a few issues also which isn't helping. He is fantastic with Erin but I am feeling neglected and unimportant, oh and don't worry I've told him how I feel. Jerk didn't even wish me a Happy 1st Mother's Day. He doesn't give 2 hoots about things like that so why should I?? So not happy.
    Most of the time things are great and I am enjoying the ride.
    I would love to catch up in person if anyone is interested and has the time

    Take care all

  8. #386
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amps View Post
    Hi Ladies

    Sharlee32 - so sorry to hear you are having a hard time of things. As bellavista said, we have all been there at some point, some more than once. I also agree the best thing might be to talk to a professional about how you are feeling. I hope things get better for you soon and take care
    Take care all

    Amps how many cycles did you do with Genea before getting your BFP?

    Sorry your DH forgot your first mothers day. My husband forgot my birthday yesterday so I can sort of symphasis.

    The reason I ask about genea is a lot of my upset is we travelled to Genea and it was my worst cycle ever and yet everyone else seems to have success with them first/ second go. My FS guaranteed us he would get us pregnant in 3 or less cycles. We have no frosties from that cycle so we need to stim again which means we both have to fly to Sydney again *sigh*

    I guess the higher expectations for a successful outcome make for a much harder fall which possible contributes to my mental break down this month and the not knowing what to do as we really thought that Genea was supposed to be the best clinic in Australia where as now we have some doubt about that.
    Last edited by Sharlee32; 14-05-2014 at 14:50. Reason: spelling

  9. #387
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    sharlee32 - I almost wish I could say it took more than 1 attempt with genea but we got our miracle on the first try. We didn't get any frosties which knocked me for six as we got frosties with our previous 3 cycles with cfc. I personally believe stress was a huge factor for me and feel so lucky we were able to treat our whole stay in Sydney as a holiday. We both wish we had tried them first.
    Dh didn't get me anything for my birthday last month, but the real sad thing is he didn't forget, just chose not to do anything, same for Mother's Day. I would've been happy with a flower picked from our own garden but apparently even that is too much effort. It really hurts as I told him how important each day was for me and he still chose not to acknowledge them as a special day. For such a kind & caring man, he can act like a real jerk sometimes.
    I still believe genea is one of the best clinics. did your fs give you any reasons why your cycle didn't work? Has he discussed other treatment etc?? I was taking supplements for a couple of months before cycling, did he have you taking anything?? My fs came across very pro-active, maybe because we stressed that we were considering that cycle to be our last.
    It is so hard to stay positive all of the time, actually it's impossible. I allow myself to feel sad when I do, to have moments where I just want to give up, then I'm able to pull myself back up to face the next challenge. It's when I don't do this that things really go to s%#t.

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  11. #388
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amps View Post
    sharlee32 - I almost wish I could say it took more than 1 attempt with genea but we got our miracle on the first try. We didn't get any frosties which knocked me for six as we got frosties with our previous 3 cycles with cfc. I personally believe stress was a huge factor for me and feel so lucky we were able to treat our whole stay in Sydney as a holiday. We both wish we had tried them first.
    Dh didn't get me anything for my birthday last month, but the real sad thing is he didn't forget, just chose not to do anything, same for Mother's Day. I would've been happy with a flower picked from our own garden but apparently even that is too much effort. It really hurts as I told him how important each day was for me and he still chose not to acknowledge them as a special day. For such a kind & caring man, he can act like a real jerk sometimes.
    I still believe genea is one of the best clinics. did your fs give you any reasons why your cycle didn't work? Has he discussed other treatment etc?? I was taking supplements for a couple of months before cycling, did he have you taking anything?? My fs came across very pro-active, maybe because we stressed that we were considering that cycle to be our last.
    It is so hard to stay positive all of the time, actually it's impossible. I allow myself to feel sad when I do, to have moments where I just want to give up, then I'm able to pull myself back up to face the next challenge. It's when I don't do this that things really go to s%#t.
    Thank you, I am glad you fell first cycle with them. I know how hard it is to do the distance cycle. We treated it as a holiday too stayed the whole week and a bit. I did have a bit of added stress when Ita crossed the coast we were due to fly home an hour after ET and couldn't get a flight for another two days so had to find accomodation unexpectedly ect and I spent an hour or so lugging my suitcase around Sydney that I hadn't planned on doing. Who knows if that affected it?
    My FS is awesome - I did like him he is head of Genea Kent Street we did a follow up with him and he sees no issues he just said he wants to up my meds a bit this time and said that I need to lose 5kg. He said he needs to find the right balance of enough eggs but good quality embryos, he wants to collect around 10 mature eggs. He said this time he will cancel if I don't have many in my scans, last time he almost cancelled but went ahead. I did have two good day 5 embryos we transferred the best and the other was supposed to be frozen but it hatched in the dish (which made me very sad as well) because I wanted to transfer them both but he talked me out of it said that with a single transfer we would have a two good shots..which we didn't end up having.
    I wasn't on any supps except for folic? I wonder if I should take more than that?
    Gahh men are hopeless sometimes. Never mind when Erin gets older she will spoil you enough on MD and your B'day to make up for his forgetfullness.

  12. #389
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    @Sharlee32, sorry to hear you are having such a tough time. I definitely recommend seeing a counsellor. Ours helped DH and I immensely. I can't remember if you are in Cairns of Townsville, but Maggie in Cairns is great. She is associated with QFG, but does have her own private practice, so you don't need to have anything to do with QFG.

    Unfortunately the whole IVF gig is not an exact science, so what works for one doesn't always work for another. On my 9th transfer I was told (by the great Dr Wazza) not to bother transferring as the embryos were of such poor quality. My poor quality embryo is currently learning to pull herself up on the couch, so I wouldn't trust everything your are told.

    Hi to everyone else. I would to catch up if anyone is free. Things are pretty hectic working 3 days a week and DH works weekends, so we never get a day together. But I can always squeeze in a lunch or play date.

  13. #390
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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Nette View Post
    @Sharlee32, sorry to hear you are having such a tough time. I definitely recommend seeing a counsellor. Ours helped DH and I immensely. I can't remember if you are in Cairns of Townsville, but Maggie in Cairns is great. She is associated with QFG, but does have her own private practice, so you don't need to have anything to do with QFG.

    Unfortunately the whole IVF gig is not an exact science, so what works for one doesn't always work for another. On my 9th transfer I was told (by the great Dr Wazza) not to bother transferring as the embryos were of such poor quality. My poor quality embryo is currently learning to pull herself up on the couch, so I wouldn't trust everything your are told.

    Hi to everyone else. I would to catch up if anyone is free. Things are pretty hectic working 3 days a week and DH works weekends, so we never get a day together. But I can always squeeze in a lunch or play date.
    Thank you and thanks for sticking up for me on that general thread the other day. Some of those women can be really nasty and throw some real below the belt virtual punches. I really should stay away from the general threads as they just attack anyone who has a different opinion to theirs.
    I am in Townsville, the hubby and I are cycling again next week when AF arrives so expect to be in Sydney around the first week of June. We want to give them three shots so we are going to do back to backs for two more and then if we are still unsuccessful I will take some time out, reevaluate and see a Councillor for extra support.
    I agree with you about the clinics not really knowing..I think that I do need to start been firmer with the clinic and specialist as last cycle and the one before I wanted to do a double transfer and both times they talked me out of it. If I had transferred the other embryo last time it would have hatched in me instead of the petrie dish. Who knows it could have been the one that worked.
    I can't believe Hannah is already trying to get up and about? How old is she now?


 

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