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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jontu View Post
    Thank you to all for sharing your stories.
    Ripper rita , I haven't experienced pnd and your story has given me some insight. If you don't mind my asking, was there a turning point that pushed you to take that step to seek help from a gp? Also do you feel there was anything your friends or family could have done to help sooner? I have a few pregnant friends, one struggled quite a lot with her first baby so if there are some things I should know or things to keep in mind then it would be great for me to know and be a support.
    It happened so gradually for me that I didn't realise I was so unwell for quite a while or maybe subconsiously i did feel "not quite right" but was too ashamed to admit it. I also had babies back to back (13 months apart, both c sections) so i was pretty much in a permanant state of sleeplessness but when it became apparent (even to me) that I was pretty seriously unwell, it was very obvious to all my family and friends. I couldn't be left alone, I would panic and ring my husband or mum a million times in hysterics and beg them to come home. Although I didn't want to be left alone, I also didn't want to see anyone other than my dh or mum. I isolated myself from the entire world mainly because I became more and more aware of how "not right" I was and I was ashamed and embarrassed. I actually saw a lot of drs and health care or mental health professionals over the first 7-8 months but no one really realised or recognised how bad I really was at first because I look like one of those perfect mums that has it all together when in fact that couldn't be further from the truth. The more I fell apart in my mind the more I fixated on "looking normal". My babies were always well dressed, happy and content and I was always dressed with my hair washed so I guess I didn't look crazy enough to warrant proper emergency help for a while. My absolute defining moment that totally horrifys and embarrasses me but is also my saving grace is the day I was fighting with my dh about how I wasn't coping and was losing my mind with both babies on my own while he worked away and him not listening to me again and telling me heaps of husbands work away and their wives cope. Something in me snapped and i just grabbed the broom, walked outside and smashed his car to pieces in our suburbian street in broad daylight. Apparently I only stopped once the police turned up and pried the broom from my hands. My husband and i were both shocked, he took the entire week off work and drove me to the gp the next day where he explained that I needed help urgently. We were referred to Belmont Hospital in Brisbane where I spent the next 2 weeks and was put on medication. Bless my dh as he spent close to $5000 on my treatment but it worked so effectivley it really blew both of us away that we had struggled with it for so long. After that my dh booked me into a mental health day program at buderim Private hospital that I attended 2 days a week for 6 months while my mum cared for my babies. I learnt wonderful coping techniques as well as how depression disorted thought processes and how I could reprogram my brain and challenge these thoughts. 6 months later I was back to my normal self, 2 years later I'm off the medication feeling pretty confident I'm going to be fine but still pretty traumatised by it all. I don't think I'll ever have the same confidence as before but I am definitely a kinder, more empathetic person.

    What I am most proud of is that through all of this I have managed to bring up 2 very confident, happy, secure and gorgeous kids. I have no idea how they managed to not be affected by it all and i always ask their kindy teachers "if they are okay" and always reassured they are "confident, resilient and great kids" And i almost cry in relief. during the dark times I would hold it together in front of them as much as possible and always wait until I was alone to fall apart but I'm sure they witnessed lots of "sad mummy" stuff.

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to RipperRita For This Useful Post:

    Jontu  (11-08-2013)

  3. #22
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    Many many hugs to you. Thank you so much for sharing xx

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    RipperRita  (11-08-2013)

  5. #23
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    Thank you for sharing your story. Although I've not suffered PND I see absolutely nothing shameful in your story. I shall monitor myself and my friends now to make sure they aren't in the same situation.

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to Wise Enough For This Useful Post:

    RipperRita  (11-08-2013)

  7. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by RipperRita View Post
    It happened so gradually for me that I didn't realise I was so unwell for quite a while or maybe subconsiously i did feel "not quite right" but was too ashamed to admit it. I also had babies back to back (13 months apart, both c sections) so i was pretty much in a permanant state of sleeplessness but when it became apparent (even to me) that I was pretty seriously unwell, it was very obvious to all my family and friends. I couldn't be left alone, I would panic and ring my husband or mum a million times in hysterics and beg them to come home. Although I didn't want to be left alone, I also didn't want to see anyone other than my dh or mum. I isolated myself from the entire world mainly because I became more and more aware of how "not right" I was and I was ashamed and embarrassed. I actually saw a lot of drs and health care or mental health professionals over the first 7-8 months but no one really realised or recognised how bad I really was at first because I look like one of those perfect mums that has it all together when in fact that couldn't be further from the truth. The more I fell apart in my mind the more I fixated on "looking normal". My babies were always well dressed, happy and content and I was always dressed with my hair washed so I guess I didn't look crazy enough to warrant proper emergency help for a while. My absolute defining moment that totally horrifys and embarrasses me but is also my saving grace is the day I was fighting with my dh about how I wasn't coping and was losing my mind with both babies on my own while he worked away and him not listening to me again and telling me heaps of husbands work away and their wives cope. Something in me snapped and i just grabbed the broom, walked outside and smashed his car to pieces in our suburbian street in broad daylight. Apparently I only stopped once the police turned up and pried the broom from my hands. My husband and i were both shocked, he took the entire week off work and drove me to the gp the next day where he explained that I needed help urgently. We were referred to Belmont Hospital in Brisbane where I spent the next 2 weeks and was put on medication. Bless my dh as he spent close to $5000 on my treatment but it worked so effectivley it really blew both of us away that we had struggled with it for so long. After that my dh booked me into a mental health day program at buderim Private hospital that I attended 2 days a week for 6 months while my mum cared for my babies. I learnt wonderful coping techniques as well as how depression disorted thought processes and how I could reprogram my brain and challenge these thoughts. 6 months later I was back to my normal self, 2 years later I'm off the medication feeling pretty confident I'm going to be fine but still pretty traumatised by it all. I don't think I'll ever have the same confidence as before but I am definitely a kinder, more empathetic person.

    What I am most proud of is that through all of this I have managed to bring up 2 very confident, happy, secure and gorgeous kids. I have no idea how they managed to not be affected by it all and i always ask their kindy teachers "if they are okay" and always reassured they are "confident, resilient and great kids" And i almost cry in relief. during the dark times I would hold it together in front of them as much as possible and always wait until I was alone to fall apart but I'm sure they witnessed lots of "sad mummy" stuff.
    The ending to your story gave me a big smile and a sigh of relief for you. Your story is not shameful at all.
    I suffered pnd and I went through some of the sane feelings you went through... U prob dont remember but my first post on bh a few months back was about me struggling with pnd and feeling worthless.. and U helped me! You told me it was my ilness speaking and you were right and I will never forget it :-)
    I am in such a better place now and understand how pnd affects us now. I was in denial at the start, had no support and when I reached out no-one took me seriously.. I think its great you have been so so honest

    Sent from my HTC Sensation XL with Beats Audio X315b using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    RipperRita  (11-08-2013)

  9. #25
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    Your a very brave woman for sharing your story. You should be very proud of yourself for getting to this point where you can talk about it.

    Sent from my GT-I9100T using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    RipperRita  (11-08-2013)

  11. #26
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    Thank you for sharing your story

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    RipperRita  (11-08-2013)

  13. #27
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    thank you so much. You will be helping many by sharing this story.

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    RipperRita  (11-08-2013)

  15. #28
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    RR thank you so much for your brutally honest account of your situation. I think you are a brave, honest warrior of a woman who is striving to use her horrible experience of PND to help others.

    As a fellow X Trolley who has also been through the depression wringer I can empathise and I trust that writing and sharing your heart wrenching story has helped you along with your recovery, as it will also help many others.

    A truly heart felt thanks from the bottom of my heart.

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    RipperRita  (11-08-2013)

  17. #29
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    OOpppps - forgot to add the most important part:

    Your story is in NO WAY shameful. Your story is brave and heart wrenching and will help just so many other women out there.

    You have done a wonderful thing in sharing your not shameful story.

  18. The Following User Says Thank You to Miss Leopard For This Useful Post:

    RipperRita  (11-08-2013)

  19. #30
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    Thanks again for sharing your story so openly and honestly. I am truly happy for you that you are in a good place now and your kids are doing well.


 

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