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  1. #21
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    I would re-settle my DS untill 2 hours from when he first fell asleep was up (this is encouraging longer sleep and not napping). So yes, at times, i would spend 60-80mins re-settling at the very begining of it all.
    This is where it's good to have a partner or support person to take over when you want to give up. If you give up, baby wins!
    If you are on your own. Have a break, get bub up and put her in a bouncer, swing, whatever. Then try again after 10-15mins up untill the 2hour mark is up from when she first fell asleep. Get her up and praise her, even if she didnt sleep.( She's actually still learning something from all this).
    You need to also be consistant with your re-settling methods. If you choose (for example) to pat her tummy, out of her view while she's grizzling, then stop when she stops. You need to do this EVERYTIME you go into her, even if you think its no longer working. It will only work if you are constatant. Keep to the same re-settling method for 2 weeks minumum.

    I never let my babies cry it out, i never used CC. I always gave them the initial oportunity to go to sleep by themselves, by swaddling/using sleeping bag ect, tuck in, give dummy and comforter, say goodnight and walk out. I would listen, usually wash a few dishes/fold some washing to stop myself going to them straight away. I also did this when i heard them wake between sleep cycles - dont go in straight away, listen. I was always beside them doing the same thing if they were finding it difficult to self settle or fall asleep.
    Last edited by B00ts; 08-08-2013 at 14:36.

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by elleybelly View Post
    Thanks for the advice mrs Harvey. I have been thinking she probably needs more of a routine but its always such a disaster when I try that I give up. If its not too hard would you mind explaining how you worked out his biorythms, that sounds like a good idea but I've never heard of it, I would prefer a routine that is suited to DD than just forcing one from book or something. Also, what time did you start the day each day? And what did you do if he woke before that, just resettle until it was time to get up? I'm not sure what to so when she wakes an hour before she's meant to & won't resettle as everything is then thrown out of whack.

    Unfortunately my DD won't sleep in the stroller anymore, the only sure way to get her to sleep is in the car & I can't really drive around all day. Even then sometimes the car won't work.
    We selected an arbitrary time to wake up every day - for us it was 7am, then made a rough outline based on what I felt his rhythms were. So I felt he had 4 hours awake time in the morning and slightly less in the afternoon, so we made a rough routine with 'target' times ie

    7am - wake up
    11am - Nap (maximum of 90 mins)
    3.30 - Nap (maximum of 90 mins)
    Bed between 7 - 8.

    She said 30 mins either side was ok. So I chuck him in his pusher/the car 30 minutes before those times and just note when he sleeps and wakes. It's usually only one sleep cycle in the pusher, and two in the car. Once we get an idea of his rhythms, she will make a plan around that so he can sleep in the crib. It's amazing within two or three days I could tell how long his wake time is (about 3 hours 50 minutes!). It's hard because I can't rest/do anything else, but it's convinced me to persist with the routine stuff.

  3. #23
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    By the way, I know that the cat napping/resettling is a different issue, but I think half the battle is getting the timing right, for your own wellbeing at least!

  4. #24
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    Thanks so much for your advice b00ts, I feel so lost with all this routine stuff so it's good to hear from others who have done it. I really have to remember that I need to be boss, I am not good with that & tend to let her be in control, that was fine earlier on but it's not working anymore for either of us.

    What did you do if during the resettling he got really upset? I've been trying resettling by leaving her if she is just grizzling, if upset patting her in her cot
    & if she gets distressed I pick her up till calm then put her back down & try again. Does that sound consistent enough or is that to many options & confusing her do you think?

    Would you mind describing your daily routine for me? You are right, it does help to hear what other bubs are doing.

    Thanks so much.

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by elleybelly View Post
    That is great olismumma! What a difference! Fingers crossed for longer sleeps today as well.

    What is QEC? Was it just a one day thing? Would you mind describing what the day involved if you can. I am in Canberra.

    Debsch, some days my dd is the same & doesn't seem to affected by the short sleeps. Other days she gets grizzly & upset later on in the day, especially when she refuses the late afternoon nap & goes more than 4 hours from her last sleep to bedtime. Because she isn't always phased by the short naps tho & she is good at self settling most of the time & is pretty good at night (although I would love a night with no wake ups but she is only little so I don't expect that) I'm not sure if I should just go with the flow & accept that she doesn't want or need long sleeps. When I have tried to force it we both just end up stressed out & upset. Have you tried anything to encourage longer sleeps or have just gone with your DS's sleeps?

    As I speak I have just put her down for a nap (had 30 mins at 9 & is just tired again now at 12), she had a little grumble to herself & went off to sleep without the dummy even in.
    QEC is essentially a mother baby unit, it has sleep school, residential stays, play groups etc... We have done well today. This is the new routine we've started... Oh and I just read your latest post, I hear you. I was shocking at leaving dd to cry even a grizzle I would pick her up and rock her but then she would only catnap :-(

    7am wake and bottle,play
    8am brekkie,play
    8:45 sleep, 2 hours, resettle with dummy and walk out
    10:45 wake
    11am bottle,play
    12pm lunch,play
    1-3 sleep
    3pm bottle, play
    4:30 short nap
    5:15 dinner, quiet time, bath, bottle, 6:30 bed.

    Hope this helps you :-)


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  6. #26
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    Thanks olismumma, b00ts and mrsharvey. I think we will give a routine a try and resettling for the 2 hours that she is meant to be asleep. I will pick a routine and resettling method and be consistent and see how we go, hopefully we might have some improvement. We have a few things on over the next few days so its a bit hard to start straight away, I will give it a go around a few things and really get stuck in to it once we have a week or more where we dont have anything that we have to go to.

    wish me luck mummies!! Hope the routines go well for you mrsharvey and olismumma. And thanks for sharing all your experience b00ts.

  7. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to elleybelly For This Useful Post:

    B00ts  (09-08-2013),olismumma  (09-08-2013)

  8. #27
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    Good luck. I'll also add when we were teaching our son to sleep/self-settle he resisted it so strongly for the first few days. I was a mess, and it was so hard not to pick him up and cuddle him. I never left the room when I was patting him but it was awful. Stick with it, because it gets easier and they learn quickly enough...

  9. #28
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    We were rocking/feeding my DS to sleep everytime. This worked well when he was a tiny newborn but as he reached 5mths + it was just not working anymore. I had no idea why. He began to cat nap and wake up wanting to be held fed and rocked to sleep every 20-30mins!!! drove us INSANEEEEEE!!!! Then he started wanting this every 3 hrs through out the night. This was just NOT ON!!

    So we wanted to choose a settling method that involved as little intervention as possible. Basically so he did most, if not all the work.
    It took us 2-3 weeks as i said. It was the hardest battle we had to go through with him. Im so glad i had DH home to support me. But looking back im so glad we did it. we still have the odd rubbish day, but that's ok.

    This is how i was re-settling him when he woke after a short time and DID NOT SELF SETTLE - Go in sit down the end of his cot out of his view and pat his tummy untill he was quiet. Stop patting. Wait. Start patting when he grizzles again keep patting in a relaxed rythm even if he's really crying. Dont give in now beause he's at his peak and will come down shortly and give up. (soooo important you dont give up when they reach their 'peak" as it means you have almost won!) As his grizzles decrease i lighten up the patting untill i basicaly just have my hand on his tummy..
    I would stay for another 10mins after he ws quiet just to make sure he would not wake up. sometimes this process would take upto 80mins.
    I would do this SAME METHOD EVERYSINGLE TIME HE WOKE and only if he DID NOT self settle initially.
    If he woke early but SELF SETTLED to sleep i would get him up and praise praise praise him for doing it all by himself even if he slept 20mins - he did it without me!. The hard part is keeping him up untill the next sleep, but it's do-able.
    My DS is 7.5mths and this is how a day runs for us atm:
    7am wake and milk feed
    8am breakfast
    9.30 sleep
    11am morning tea
    12pm lunch
    1.30pm sleep
    3/3.30 milk feed
    4pm snack
    5pm dinner
    6pm bath/ top to toe wash
    6.30pm milk feed
    7pm bed for the night.

  10. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by elleybelly View Post
    Have you tried anything to encourage longer sleeps or have just gone with your DS's sleeps?
    Our boy naps in various places. Sometimes on the floor on a sheepskin, sometimes on me on the couch (bad habit I know), sometimes in the car, sometimes in the backpack/carrier. When he's with me he does sometimes resettle himself. If he's in the backpack and I feel him stirring, some movement like sweeping the floor will send him off for another round of sleep. But I don't try for more than 5 minutes - after 5mins he is awake and there's no point in trying to get him back to sleep.

  11. #30
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    Subbing cat napper 4 months driving me crazy


 

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