Not sure if this is the right place to post this so feel free to move it but I'm just looking for some advice.
Background: My dad is an alcoholic. Him and mum spilt up about 9/10 years ago now after he left her for someone else. She then got involved with a married man who left his wife for her. They have been together now for 8 or so years. He treats her amazingly - something she never really got from my dad. The problem is that he is a complete bully. Not towards her at all which means that she completely ignores it. She has always been one to stick her head in the sand and pretend things aren't happening if they don't suit her. We have not had a good relationship since he came on the scene mainly because he tried bullying myself and hubby and I didn't stand for it. She never stood up for me but I gave as good as I got and then we moved over to oz so I don't have to have anything to do with him.
Over the last few years I've heard several things from my siblings that really concern me about his behaviour. A few examples:
- they went to Portugal and he and mum basically abandoned them in the middle of a marketplace to find their own way back to the hotel
- they stayed at a hotel overnight, put my siblings (15, 13 and 10) in a room on another floor from them and left them there from 7pm until 10am the next morning
- my little brother couldn't finish his ice cream at a restaurant and the bf stood over him until he had eaten everything. He then went and proceeded to throw it all up. He was 7.
- he threw my sister onto the floor after she wouldn't stop her conversation with my mum when he had decided he wanted to talk to mum.
- he slapped my brother
- he refused to let my sister leave the dining table until she apologised to him for licking her bowl (something my mum does ALL the time)
There are MANY other incidents that they have mentioned but I don't have time to list them all. I have seen him be this person so I know they are telling the truth.
The latest is that my sister (now 17) applied for a job and got an interview at a place she wanted to work. She told my mum that she wouldn't be applying at another place because of the interview (which basically meant she had the job). My mum was fine with it. The bf comes storming in and grabs my sister, forces her back against the kitchen bench and proceeds to tell her that she is a selfish b!tch, worthless, etc etc all the time grabbing her arms. She keeps telling him to stop which he won't do. He then tried to punch her in the face - which she stopped luckily. My mum does NOTHING to stop this just stands there and cries which he tells my sister is all her fault. He then goes into the playroom where my brother is on his Xbox and threatens to 'rip my brothers head off' for no reason whatsoever and chucks the Xbox across the room.
My mum has not spilt up with this man. My sister tried to talk to her about what he did and she just blanks her. My uncle is doing his usual trick of siding with my mum to keep the peace. I told her she needs to report it to the police (it was a few months ago) even if they don't do anything at least it will be on record in case something happens again.
They all live in the uk so I feel so powerless to help. I'm crying just writing this post because they are such lovely children and I can't help them. There is no point in talking to my mum because she will just deny everything or completely blank me out as usual. What the heck can I do? :,-(