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  1. #941
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    WiSh

    i know no words can help the pain you probably are feeling but ...

    you are young, this was your first go, you achieved implantation... Well done.
    As my FS said to me - in sorting its genetic accidents, nature can be so cruel. There probably wasn't anything you could have done to change the outcome of this.

    After my first cycle didn't work I too left BH for a while to heal also. What was wonderful was knowing the support was here when I came back and was ready to try again. In the past week my heart broke over and over and I kept putting it back together again, only to feel it break again.... It is very very difficult but remember that we as women are built to weather these storms. Acceptance is so close I can almost touch it now.

    It's hard to find a way to express that deep devastation after so much joy, but I know you will find your way.

    I'm glad that you celebrated your baby while he or she was with us. That's something to be proud of and something that he or she deserved.

    take care of yourself and DH ... My furbabies are a huge comfort also.

    Thankyou for being such a wonderful and inspiring part of this thread... See you when u get back. Don't give up X

    ps pm me anytime if u need to
    Last edited by Butterfly39; 27-09-2013 at 22:23.

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  3. #942
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    Oh Wish, I'm so sorry. I am so upset by your news especially as a few of us felt you shouldn't worry. Thinking of you today when you expected to be celebrating. Thanks for all the life and organisation you brought to this thread and I'm sorry to see you go. I hope your things will only be in storage a little longer than expected. Please come back and let us know when you get your next BFP so we can celebrate with you.

    Welcome to Catlover, Milly and any other new faces I've missed.

    AFM- I've been following along with the posts and love being part of this group. My 12 week scan is on 16 October. Otherwise not much to report.

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  5. #943
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    Wish, I'm so sorry you are going through this. It's such a cruel journey and I struggle to understand it.Sending you lots of love and prayers xx.

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    I echo all the words expressed here for you Wish. I hope we all get to share in your joy very shortly.

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    Sorry for being MIA the past few days, we are out of town at the moment. Posting from my phone so this will be a short one.

    Oh Wish, I'm sitting here in shock at your terribly sad news . Thinking of you and hoping you & your DH can summon the strength you'll need to get through this. Your sticky baby won't be far away... until then much love and big hugs xoxo

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  11. #946
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    Oh wish, there's no words I can say that express how sad I am for you. That baby you deserve IS out there waiting for you, don't give up hope for that. Look after yourself x

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  13. #947
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    Thank you for your kind words, I feel like Im overreacting, people miscarry all the time!! Im in sucky limbo land. I want this to be over but they wont do anything til Tuesday (public holiday long weekend in WA) so now I get 3 days to suffer knowing Im carrying "dying tissue"

    sorry to bring the thread down.

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    I have been there Wish so I know how you feel. It seems the cruelest joke of all that you continue to carry a baby that's not 'there' anymore.
    You are not over reacting at all. We all completely understand and sympathise. It's just not fair is it? Something we all want soo badly and others just seem to get without trying. It's hard not to feel bitter but you are so lucky that you have these options open to you. You are young and healthy. If you got pregnant once you can again. I truly believe that next year you will be loudly and proudly shouting your happy news to all. Take care of yourself and your DH.

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  16. #949
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    Wish, you are not overreacting, the love and expectation for the baby is natural and real, and so the pain is real ....yes women miscarry all the time but after struggling with infertility it's a huge kick in the guts....for us 'just trying again' isn't so simple.

    At first I just wanted mine out too, but now I am glad for the chance to take my time to gradually let go of this pregnancy in the same way that if my baby was stillborn, i would have held them for a very long time before letting him or her go also. I see them staying in my body for a little while longer as just giving the child one last long hug before they are gone forever.

    It's not fair, I don't know why it has to be so hard. I've cried every day since I found out.

    Its a long wait until Thursday next week for me too, but I felt a little better once I started using the waiting time to plan out my next move.

    I dont know if this would help you, but have you thought of a way to say goodbye? I decided I would burn a candle for mine, thank the soul for the experience....and when I was ready, say goodbye. I am really thankful for this experience despite the difficult road it has proven to be.

    my thoughts are with you

  17. #950
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    Quote Originally Posted by Butterfly39 View Post

    Its a long wait until Thursday next week for me too, but I felt a little better once I started using the waiting time to plan out my next move.

    I dont know if this would help you, but have you thought of a way to say goodbye? I decided I would burn a candle for mine, thank the soul for the experience....and when I was ready, say goodbye. I am really thankful for this experience despite the difficult road it has proven to be.

    my thoughts are with you
    Thanks Butterfly, I hadn't thought about saying good bye, atm that thought hurts too much, thinking about the next step helps, sucks the next avail FS appt isnt til 26th Nov.

    Im trying to keep with the positives: we got a good haul of eggs/embryos, we succeeded first go and we got past the first scan. But at the same time I wish we didnt get this far for it to be taken away. Age is definitely on our side but no comfort when we have wanted this for so long and having my younger SIL happily pregnant with a healthy baby, doesnt help. Staying here for a little is kinda therapeutic, discussing this with you all rather than leaving straight away, definitely helps. Im glad we decided to hide away today, I burst into tears at the strangest times, its not something I can explain to friends who have no interest in having babies right now.

    Butterfly as hard as this is for me I cant imagine your situation and I appreciate you talking the time to comfort me. I do sincerely hope your miracle happens on Thursday but also "nice" knowing you have made peace with the outcome. I commend that strength and wish I had some. Guess my nickname represent something a little different atm, wishing and hoping to get through this and carry on.

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