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  1. #1
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    Default New and needing advice

    Hi guys, I'm new here and I'm looking for some advice..


    First let me introduce myself.. I'm B (26) and my partner is L (39). We have been together for nearly 5 years, we have 2 furry 4-legged babies together, and we are ready to grow our family some more.


    We live in SA so we have some stupid laws to work around so we are not too sure where to start.
    The only thing we know is how we want to do it. (Her egg, unknown donor, me carry)
    I'm just wondering if anyone else has done this and how did you go about it?


    Also if there is anyone from Adelaide who has done IVF/IUI etc, either here or interstate, how did you get around the SA laws?


    Any help would be appreciated as we don't really have any other gay/lesbian friends to get advice from.


    Cheers.

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by BandL View Post
    Hi guys, I'm new here and I'm looking for some advice..


    First let me introduce myself.. I'm B (26) and my partner is L (39). We have been together for nearly 5 years, we have 2 furry 4-legged babies together, and we are ready to grow our family some more.


    We live in SA so we have some stupid laws to work around so we are not too sure where to start.
    The only thing we know is how we want to do it. (Her egg, unknown donor, me carry)
    I'm just wondering if anyone else has done this and how did you go about it?


    Also if there is anyone from Adelaide who has done IVF/IUI etc, either here or interstate, how did you get around the SA laws?


    Any help would be appreciated as we don't really have any other gay/lesbian friends to get advice from.


    Cheers.
    Welcome BandL

    im in qld so not sure I can offer much more than a polite hello. In QLD you'd be able to do what you're planning. But hopefully moving interstate isn't necessary to bring your wishes true.

    good luck on your journey

  3. #3
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    Hi BandL

    I am from SA 2. The laws are pretty stupid aren't they.

    We have done lots of research but I don't think it is possible. We would have loved 2 do that as well but have decided I would do it as this has been a hard enough process and DP is 43 so would have other risks. We did consider going interstate but would be a big move to do that.

    We have got in contact with a lawyer who has assured us she will be able to assist in ensuring DP is on the birth certificate and that has been the main thing for us.

  4. #4
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    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Hi BandL - I am not sure what laws there are that stop you from being able to do it but I am in NSW and can most definitely do that. They do an "egg pick up" on the partner that will be donating their eggs, continue with IVF process (partners eggs and donor sperm) and then transfer the embryo into the partner that will be carrying.

    I know of people that come from other states just for treatment and then fly home. Would the problematic legislation allow for that? I'm not sure if it would cause issues when you get home.

    If you are interested in flying to NSW for the treatment then I can let you know what I clinic DF and I are using.

    They offered to do this for us but we will both be carrying so we will be using our own eggs and hopefully the same donor (pending the timing of it all!)


    Two girls, one dream and baby you are it!

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    Hi,
    Thanks for the warm welcome CandE, and yes it sounds like a lot of other states allow this. Unfortunately though moving state is not an option for us atm.

    And Sartan, it's nice to know someone else is from SA too! hi
    ..I would be interested to hear more about your journey. We have many straight couple friends who are having/have babies, but it's just not the same talking to them as they don't have to experience the same things that we will.

    Rainbowbabe, the laws here in SA are ridiculous! Apparently we are now the only state in Australia which does not allow same-sex couples and single women to access fertility treatment. They will only allow it if you are deemed medically infertile!

    You said that you know of others who have come to NSW from other states to get this particular treatment, do you know what states they are from?
    We would definitely consider travelling to another state, if it is allowed. As much as it annoys me that on top of the usual expenses of ivf, we have to fork out travel costs as well.
    But if that's what we have to do, that's what we will do!

  6. #6
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    Hi BandL

    Our journey so far has been a very lucky one. I'm 30 and DP is 43. DP has no desire to be pregnant but would have liked me to use her eggs. We decided that we didn't want to move or travel to have a baby. So my eggs it was. We were approached by a friend and her husband who knew we wanted a baby that we could use her husbands sperm and did not want to be involved in any parenting what do ever. After a few meetings it was exactly what we were looking for. We saw one lawyer who was horrible but then approached another who gave us the info we needed and will see when we get pregnant to ensure DP is on the birth certificate. From what I had read it would not be possible for her to be on it as we didn't use IVF which you can't do in SA. So stupid. But she said she helped many couples to do this that used at home insemination.

    We drew up a contract with the donor which we made up with ones I googled and made fit to our circumstances. As this is a non legal binding document a lawyer does not need to do this but will help if issues arise in the future.

    So after about a year of planning we have had our first attempt and am currently 9dpo. FX

    Sorry if that's a big long winded. Happy to answer any questions you might have. I might not know the answer but happy to help. Like you said so different to people not in a same sex relationship.

  7. #7
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    Fingers crossed Sartan!

    BandL - I know people who have come up from Melbourne and over from Perth. They could access IVF in their own states but issues with donor sperm and waiting periods. We don't have anything like that in NSW. The only thing that is annoying with NSW is that it's really hard to use the same donor if you both want to carry - for this reason it looks like we will be getting treatment in Canberra!!! They will allow us to import the same donor sperm and I can store it until I need it and DF will use for IVF straight away. Here in NSW they won't allow you to store it so it would mean going through egg pick up at the same time and having my embryos frozen which is fine except it means double the cost straight away!!! Lol

    Feel free to ask any other questions. We are seeing our FS in NSW on 31/8 (might be our last appointment with her) and the one in Canberra on 5/9. Happy to try and find our any info you might need.


    Two girls, one dream and baby you are it!

  8. #8
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    Hi BandL

    Our journey so far has been a very lucky one. I'm 30 and DP is 43. DP has no desire to be pregnant but would have liked me to use her eggs. We decided that we didn't want to move or travel to have a baby. So my eggs it was. We were approached by a friend and her husband who knew we wanted a baby that we could use her husbands sperm and did not want to be involved in any parenting what do ever. After a few meetings it was exactly what we were looking for. We saw one lawyer who was horrible but then approached another who gave us the info we needed and will see when we get pregnant to ensure DP is on the birth certificate. From what I had read it would not be possible for her to be on it as we didn't use IVF which you can't do in SA. So stupid. But she said she helped many couples to do this that used at home insemination.

    We drew up a contract with the donor which we made up with ones I googled and made fit to our circumstances. As this is a non legal binding document a lawyer does not need to do this but will help if issues arise in the future.

    So after about a year of planning we have had our first attempt and am currently 9dpo. FX

    Sorry if that's a big long winded. Happy to answer any questions you might have. I might not know the answer but happy to help. Like you said so different to people not in a same sex relationship.

  9. #9
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    Opps sorry for posting twice


 

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