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  1. #21
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    It really does sound like you need to find your own place. It sounds like you need your own space to parent your way without someone breathing down your neck. I'm sure if you try hard you can find somewhere?

    I agree with Pp about talking to your partner and have him talk to his mum.

    Unfortunately parenting is about cleaning, cooking etc and we don't get much of a break! That's unfortunately by going to change when She isn't there.

    Hope you sort this out soon x

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by DimplezKids2013 View Post
    My partner does all the outside work does the lawns takes the rubbish feeds the dogs takes the bin out and he works all day he does he shares i know it's everything I have to do when I move out but she expects to much from me I just wish she would help and my partner does stick up for me but it just starts a massive fight I am trying to get my own house so I can raise my kids the way I want not the way she wants
    I guess this is the reason I would refuse to live with my ILs (and my dh would say the same for my mum). My mil would tell me how to cook, how to feed, how to do everything basically. I couldn't deal with that.

    I guess u just gotta move out at the earliest opportunity, so that you can lead your own life.

    Good luck

  3. #23
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    You have 3 choices:

    - suck it up until you are able to move, continuing to be stressed & miserable

    - you and your partner move heaven & earth to get your own place ASAP

    - your partner has a chat to your MIL about everything and they agree to help you at night with things like dinner preparation/cleaning up.

    Sounds like she's taking you for granted & expects you to do everything because you are a SAHP. Surely she could do her own washing!

  4. #24
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    I don't mind cooking and cleaning for my kids but when I am cleaning up and doing a 45 year olds washing that's when I get ****ed of I'm no complaining about the mother hood duties it's just the duties I am doing for her she's 45 she can do things her self and stop expecting me to have everything down when she gets home I don't think that part is fair


    Sent from mummie off 3 iPhone

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by DimplezKids2013 View Post
    I don't mind cooking and cleaning for my kids but when I am cleaning up and doing a 45 year olds washing that's when I get ****ed of I'm no complaining about the mother hood duties it's just the duties I am doing for her she's 45 she can do things her self and stop expecting me to have everything down when she gets home I don't think that part is fair


    Sent from mummie off 3 iPhone
    Definitely sounds like she's taking advantage. I just would stop doing her washing and no tidying up after her. I'm sure she will get shirty with you ("my house do it my way or leave" kind of attitude) but I would just spell it out to her that you have enough on your plate without doing her crap as well! Good luck I hope you can find a workable solution

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  7. #26
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    I think it is reasonable for you to clean the house and cook, but washing her clothes?? I don't think so...She is a grown women so she should be able to manage that herself.

    I think you need to let her know that you feel it is unreasonable for her to expect her washing done, l would also bring up the issue of her butting into parenting.
    Explain you would like to parent your kids in a certain way and that while you know that you MIL's experience is invaluable you would like to be able to make the decisions around your kids even if you make some mistakes along the way you will learn from them....something along those lines.



    Sent from my GT-I9300 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  8. #27
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    Given that your kids are probably the messiest I agree with having to keep the main areas clean, but washing her clothes does seem a bit lazy. Are you paying her board?

  9. #28
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    Me and my partner give her 200 a week plus go half in electricity plus we pay foxtel every month plus do our own shopping for the kids and us


    Sent from mummie off 3 iPhone

  10. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by DimplezKids2013 View Post
    Me and my partner give her 200 a week plus go half in electricity plus we pay foxtel every month plus do our own shopping for the kids and us


    Sent from mummie off 3 iPhone

    Okay then she's definitely taking advantage!!!

  11. #30
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    I think in terms of housework it's just something you will have to accept and put up with until you save enough for your own place. Although you pay half electricity you would be using more than half I would assume bc it's 2 adults and 3 kids so I think that's fair. $200 for board is much cheaper than rent too. And from the point if your mil she could have been looking forward to having her house to herself and doing things her way but now she has accommodated you and your family to live with her. It would be nice though if she did help out with some of the housework. Does she help you with babysitting? As for her telling you how to parent, I think it would be better if you got your husband to have a word bc even if you both say the same thing it will seem worse coming from you than him.


 

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