Most of you know my story.
For those who don't ive had a on and off again relationship with the kids dad, 7 years its been going for.
He has been seeing someone since I was pregnant with our son (now 3)
While he was with her he was also with me, she knew she didn't care.
I was hoping if I did what he wanted me to, he would come home. I wanted my kids to have their dad back home.
He didn't come home and I'm now starting to move on, saying no to him. It's nice to be able to finally say no.
But last year I fell pregnant to him, 3 days after I got the BFP I terminated. I rushed it because I didn't want to have time to think about it, but I've regretted it ever since.
Last month I found out his partner got pregnant 3 weeks after I did. She kept her baby and is due next month.
I'm really not coping with this.
For ages our daughter has been asking me to have another baby, now this other woman is giving her The sibling she's been asking for.
They finally told my daughter about the pregnancy and she is over the moon, I'm trying to keep it together and act excited but its so hard, I'm so angry and I can feel that I'm about to snap.
I'm trying to be mature about it and brought the kids a gift to give to their brother, but ever since I brought the gift I just have so much anger. I thought I was handling it, but I'm not and soon the baby will be born and I have no idea how I'm going to cope, I know I'm not going to want to see the kids dad but he comes for dinner every Friday. I just wish I could walk away from my ex and never have to see or talk to him again, I'm so sick of the pain he causes me. He still tells me he loves me and thinks we need each other and will always have this connection. I just want to run away.
I don't know the point of this post, I just need to get it out.