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  1. #1
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    Default Issues setting up sleep routine

    Before I begin, I know that my boy is too young for a real routine yet. But the problem isn't so much with the baby but with my dh.

    So, I have an 8 week old baby who is settling into a rough routine for bedtime. I bath him around 8.30 then feed him, then quiet cuddles til he falls asleep. This can take anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour. With this routine he stays asleep for up to 5 hours. As you can imagine, 5 hours sleep is bliss.
    DH works 3 nights a week and baby sleeps beautifully those nights. When dh is home, however, he can't seem to understand what quiet means.
    He waits for me to be laying down with the baby, and decides that its time to have a chat. ..usually from the other side of the house!
    I've tried explaining to him that that is not on, that it would be better to wait for bub to be asleep, or if it can't wait that he needs to come into the room and talk quietly, and he says he understands. But a minute later he's doing it again.
    Any ideas on how to get it through his thick head that quiet means quiet?

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  2. #2
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    My partner would do that. Often. We'd talk, he'd seem to understand. Then forget.

    I've found what's most effective is the "you wake the baby - they're yours now"

    My also took aaggggeeeesssssss to grasp the concept of DO NOT rev up the baby when I'm about to put him to bed. He seemed to think "say goodnight to daddy" means "tickle him! Throw him in the air! Make lots and lots of noise and make him laugh!!! Yay! It's play time!" then get stroppy if I told him to stop! Calm down!

    He mostly gets it now. He seems to grasp the correlation between being quiet and calm and an easier bed time after nearly 5 years of being a parent. *palm face*

    But I recommend handing him the baby if he doesn't get it.

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    ARCTICJULZ  (01-08-2013)

  4. #3
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    I may have to try that. He seems to think that I can't/ won't leave him with the baby at night because bub is breastfed, but I have no trouble expressing.

    He is a great dad most of the time, this just seems to be his sticking point.

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  5. #4
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    Even just go "okay it's your turn" and go jump in the shower maybe?

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    Ffrenchknickers  (03-08-2013)

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    That I have done. After he sat on his computer playing games for three hours while baby grizzled, he had a blocked nose.
    What annoyed me slightly was that when I got out of the shower, he was back on his computer playing games again. .. because bub had gone to sleep!

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    Boobychino you're doing well. More than 5 years here and Dh still doesn't get it! After horsey rides and loud TV he wonders why it takes DD an hour to fall asleep. On the nights he works she's in bed on time and asleep shortly after!!

    No real advice. I'm this instant trying to rock my 8 week old back to sleep after DH started whistling at the dog and woke him right after I'd settled him!!

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  9. #7
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    Haha! I asked DH to hold DS while I went to the bathroom last week as he walked in from work and whispered, just rock him he is almost asleep (eyes closed), came out and I can hear DS laughing, DH is teaching him to surf.. The ironing board.
    Men.
    Plenty of friendly reminding lucky we love them so much it is easy to forgive.
    Sorry I don't have any advice :/

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    I kid you not, I handed an almost asleep DS to DH shortly after my last post. I said "he's nearly asleep, I'm jst going to the toilet and then I'll take him to bed and feed him to sleep". I come back to find DH blowing raspberries on DS's cheeks!

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    michellead  (02-08-2013)

  12. #9
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    Omg - this is a dad thing. Same thing with my dh although at 21 weeks he us finally getting it, a little bit, not consistent. I think its hard for dads to come home when they haven't seen bub all day and not be able to play with them, but goodness me! When I hand over my drowsy son after spending time getting sleepy in calm dark room, dh dances with him to loud music with lights on etc. So sweet but frustrating. No concept of over stimulation - many an argument over that.

  13. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by ARCTICJULZ View Post
    Before I begin, I know that my boy is too young for a real routine yet. But the problem isn't so much with the baby but with my dh.

    So, I have an 8 week old baby who is settling into a rough routine for bedtime. I bath him around 8.30 then feed him, then quiet cuddles til he falls asleep. This can take anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour. With this routine he stays asleep for up to 5 hours. As you can imagine, 5 hours sleep is bliss.
    DH works 3 nights a week and baby sleeps beautifully those nights. When dh is home, however, he can't seem to understand what quiet means.
    He waits for me to be laying down with the baby, and decides that its time to have a chat. ..usually from the other side of the house!
    I've tried explaining to him that that is not on, that it would be better to wait for bub to be asleep, or if it can't wait that he needs to come into the room and talk quietly, and he says he understands. But a minute later he's doing it again.
    Any ideas on how to get it through his thick head that quiet means quiet?

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

    express some milk or feed bub, handball bub to dh and let him handle it. Go have some wine. DONE!


 

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