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  1. #1
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    Default need lots of help and advice :(

    so i've been with my husband for 9 years, we became friends with another couple a few years ago, to cut a long story short my husband and g'ood friend' started an affair 8 weeks ago...she is married with 3 children, we have 3 children and i'm currently 29 weeks pregnant

    our marriage is over as he said he would give it another go but wanted to stay 'friends' with the other woman - i said that couldnt happen as wouldn't work..

    now they are together he has left me and she has left her husband - 7 children (inc unborn) caught up in this mess

    i never saw it coming

    i want advice on how to deal with my ex friend seeing my children, plan is every other weekend, no problem with my husband seeing kids whenever but i do have real issues seeing/imagining someone who was a really good friend playing happy families with my FAMILY in fact i think it will destroy me as i want to stay as a family...do not want this break up. my kids are all under 6 as are hers

    i know this is something i have to try and survive just wondered if anyone had any tips on how to survive it- i literally feel like i'm drowning how do i deal with this hurt and pain?

  2. #2
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    I'm so sorry

  3. #3
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    Wow! What an awful situation! I'm so sorry they did this to you! I don't have much advice but try and be the bigger person, what they both did to you is not ok. Be strong for your kiddies and set a good example. Huge hugs x

  4. #4
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    No advice but hugs!!

  5. #5
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    oh you poor thing, , that is truly awful. and these poor children. Maybe see a counseller to discuss your feelings and work thru them. I don't know what to say, but you have plenty of support here on bub hub when you need to talk. Sending you LOTS of strength. xo

  6. #6
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    Oh hun, huge hugs.

    I agree with a pp, are you ok with seeking some help from counselling? As for visits, is it possible for a friend or family member to help out? So you can avoid seeing them? I don't know if that's reasonable, just putting it out there as I imagine that's what I would want to do.

    I know this is the single section, I'm sorry for poking my nose in here but I couldn't read and not reply.

    Again, big hugs to you and your children. You will get lots of support from people on here.

    Sent from my GT-I9100T using The Bub Hub mobile app

  7. #7
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    Oh god, I have no advice but really just wanted to send you hugs. That is so horrible and I am so sorry you are going through this

  8. #8
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    Counselling would be a good start. Perhaps a mental health care plan from your gp would be helpful? As for her seeing the children during visits maybe you could text their dad and ask that just for the meantime he spend time with the children without her as much as possible? I would just state that it could be confusing for the children and it may not be in their best interests to add to the fact that daddy is no longer at home. Unfortunately he probably is more concerned about himself than his kids so this may not work. If it does I think this will give you some breathing space until you get your head around it during counselling. I guess the one positive (and this is not meant to sound awful but it may make you feel awful anyway) is that the children know her and her children rather than them suddenly being thrust with a bunch of strangers. Big hugs to you. This is a very sad situation and I hope that you surround yourself with as much support as you can find

  9. #9
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    They only started their affair 8 weeks ago and are now moved in together. I wouldnt want my kids around her either just yet. How confusing for your kids- they are all under 6 so very hard to explain to them.
    I would insist he sees them at your house or at his parents or your parents place for the time being. At least to see if this relationship is serious and to allow the kids to adjust to daddy not being around before introducing them to the reason why.

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to sandramm1 For This Useful Post:

    PurpleButterfly4  (01-08-2013)

  11. #10
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    How horrible so sorry to hear what he has done.


 

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