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  1. #11
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    If you truly want to marry this man, it doesn't matter if it's early next year or 5 years from now, as long as you are happy.
    I would be postponing until you're sure.

    I think it's only fair that you share expenses, he needs to realise you're a family.

  2. #12
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    I don't think those are small issues. Money is one of the most common reasons marriages fail. If there are issues now then I would definitely get them sorted before even considering going ahead with the wedding.

    I suppose above all I would be concerned that he doesn't WANT to contribute financially - what could be more important to him than supporting his child?

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    Well well well he went to the mall with his Mum and must have known he was pushing my buttons lately and he came home with a card written on behalf of baby saying I'm the best mummy in the world and some chocolates, lotto and scratchie.
    So it's a start and a good opener to discuss this joint account again!

    I don't expect him to change over night but if I can get him to pay the 50% of costs I will be happy.

    I guess I need to see a fast improvement over the next mth to go ahead with the wedding. I do need to be honest with him too and tell him my concerns.

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    How he is behaving is really unfair & isn't a partnership.

    However & I say this with love😀he behaves this way as you have let him get away with it. It's started out in small ways & rolled into big ways of acting like a douche & getting away with it.

    I've been there & done that & NEVER again, there are plenty of other men out there who aren't like this.

    What to do from here? Decide on your boundaries, write a list of what you want, need & expect. Keep referring back to your list & give him a kick up the a$$ every time he strays from your list.

    You should be kicking back & enjoying your hard to get bub x

  5. #15
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    to be honest, I would approach him and say "now that we are getting married, and have a baby together ... lets pool all of our money into 1 bank account"

    Talk about the financial commitments you have as a family, what you are prepared to spend on what and work out together your financial path ...

    then, if you cant work things out perhaps think about postponing the wedding

  6. #16
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    Success! Maybe I am part of the problem I do need to pick the right time to discus things...we have adjusted our automatic payments into our joint acc so bubs is fully covered!
    Thanks for the support.

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by chances View Post
    Success! Maybe I am part of the problem I do need to pick the right time to discus things...we have adjusted our automatic payments into our joint acc so bubs is fully covered!
    Thanks for the support.
    Great! I'm glad he's agreed to share the load financially. All the best for the future!


 

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