My wedding is booked for early 2014. 2.5wks ago I gave birth to my fiancee's and mines first child.
Right about now or over the next month i'm meant to pick and order my wedding dress, book band, do invites etc etc....but little things about my fiancee are playing on my mind. They are not big big things so I should just forget about it, but from day 1 they have bothered me.
He's a tight **** - I earn a bit more than him but I also have huge student loan I'm still paying off and I pay for all our insurances. During our saving for baby I paid double into the account so with all the extras I pay we basically are left with the same disposal income. I didn't mind so much but now I have my work and soon govt paid parental leave coming in he has left me to pay for all of my expenses and babies (somewhat fair I guess?). I had to leave work due to pregnancy complications at 34wks and he never helped me out financially then either so I had been spending my savings for months.
His car crapped out and he knew my family was coming over for the birth and were to use my car to go to the sunshine coast. He didn't wan't to pay to fix his car so has just been using mine and if i need it for baby and I - I have to get up with baby at 5am and drop/pick him off a 30min drive away. I paid for my parents rental car while they were here cause I felt so bad - mum did end up giving me some money by way of food. My rego is due and he said he mayyy help pay for some.
When I gave birth my cousin mentioned how she got a birthing ring and showed him while we were pregnant, I never expected a ring thats too much but my labour was horrible and I went thru 2 rnds of IVF to conceive so it hasn't been easy so something like maybe flowers would have been nice. I did mention it out of frustration the other night and he said well if I gave him another child he would buy me one....he has answers like that for everything and never delivers or twists his wording to not keep his end of the bargin. Gosh typing this all down makes me realise a lot!
My last straw has been about the wedding dress - I have saved hard for 13mths or so for baby and for this wedding...I stressfully scrapped in for getting my work maternity leave (half my annual salary) and he cracked the ****s because I looked at 2k wedding dresses and not the cheap $250 online ones.
We have talked about saving my maternity leave as a house deposit and I go back to work when baby is 6mths old...i'm unsure of that idea of me heading back so early.
I guess he's somewhat selfish but besides that he doesn't have any other bad qualities besides being lazy when it comes to helping with baby.
At a crossroads of what to do really? I still think getting married is the right thing but how do I get him to share more and not expect so much from me?