Our beautiful DD1 is 3.5 in August. Now apart from the 'normal' age appropriate behaviours and issues, which I'm more than happy to deal and cope with, we have noticed that over the last couple of weeks she has become increasingly aggressive and emotional... Last week she started biting her little sister (2 in August), pinching and hitting her. She has also been scratching her sister on the face for some time (however, although not making it okay, her little sister does provoke her and then some)!
On Friday, she bit her sister 5 times! I am heartbroken! DD1 and I then went away for the weekend, (planned for weeks) so they did have some space from each other - however she was very emotional whilst away. Today, has been better, but DD2 has been bitten twice, like big bites, that have left bruises... she has also been pinching and lashing out (hitting me) and scratching when I am trying to discipline her or when she doesn't want me to talk to her. When DH got home from work on Friday, he actually had quite a chat with her and it came out that what is making her so angry is her little sister (DD2). She told DH that "GG" takes her toys and stuff and runs away with it and that she won't give it back and that she does it all the time daddy and it makes her angry. :-( DH explained that it is okay to feel angry, because GG and mummy and daddy also get angry from time to time, but that she must not hurt her sister and she must come and tell mummy or daddy, when she is feeling upset/angry at her sister.
Now DD2 is CONFIDENT, not afraid of anything and she is a sh*t stirrer! We know that. Whereas DD1 is quite timid and shy (and always has been)... and they CLASH!
Now obviously, this has been stressing me out a lot (I unfortunately am taking this behaviour personally), and I haven't exactly been dealing with it in the best way, as I'm feeling very overwhelmed. Just like DD1, DH and I are still learning too! I am desperate, I am at a loss of what to do... discipline methods tried have been smacking, time out and just giving her a hug, all of which are currently not effective (even if we are consistent). DH and I are currently talking through strategies and methods in which we can be gentle, but firm at the same time, and actually get through to her that what she is doing is very hurtful and is making us all sad. I am literally in tears over the way my two beautiful girls treat each other, and see it as a reflection of my parenting.
She is also having some huge over the top melt downs over the simplest things, argh!!!
DH and I have also discussed both of us going to a counsellor to see if we can gain any tools/strategies for dealing with the behaviour better.
I'm sorry this is so long and all over the place, I'm just so sad for her. I hope I have given enough information and my question is this:
Is this behaviour normal for her age, or is there something else going on?
Also, we are booked in to see a Paed. in early August for some other issues, so of course will be putting all of the above to him as well.
If you've read this far, thank you and any advice/experience is greatly needed and appreciated. Please be kind!