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  1. #1
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    Default Trying to help friends

    Hi all,

    I just got a message from a close friend who is in a same sex relationship. He is trying to find out about surrogacy and what his options are as he would love to start a family.

    I told him that I would find out what I could so now I ask the hub.. What is the best way to find a surrogate in NSW?

    I read through some previous threads and saw places like Surrogacy Australia and Fertility Connections listed but when I have gone to the sites I have not been able to figure out exactly how it all works.

    How is the relationship established? I know that you can not pay someone to do this but that to me means that it would be even harder to find someone that is happy to help.

    Who chooses who? That might sound stupid but my partner and I are doing IVF with a sperm donor and it is obviously very different. We choose the donor and get on with it. In this case does the surrogate look at "candidates" and choose who they feel comfortable helping? They would also need this generous persons eggs so to me that says the surrogate would get to pick who gets their eggs as well... I don't think I've worded this very well but I hope people know what I am trying to say.

    So...... I guess I'm looking for a better understanding as I want to help my friend as best as I can. If my partner and I had finished our family then I would offer to help myself but the timing just doesn't work at the moment.

    Thanks in advance - any knowledge that you can share will help! I know pretty much nothing about surrogacy!


    Two girls, one dream and baby you are it!

  2. #2
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    Tell them to jump on egg donation Australia forum- lots of info on surrogacy and egg donation and a great place to ask questions. Quite a few same sex couples on there too.

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to spotsmum For This Useful Post:

    rainbowbabe  (28-07-2013)

  4. #3
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    Thanks spotsmum! I might jump on and have a look too.. I appreciate it

    If anyone is a surrogate or has been before - can you tell me what it's like from your shoes?


    Two girls, one dream and baby you are it!

  5. #4
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    Bump!


    Two girls, one dream and baby you are it!

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    Finding a surrogate or being a Surrogate looking for IP's is nothing like looking for a sperm donor. There is no clinic or agency that has profiles for surrogates to look at, it's simply a manner of putting yourself out there and hoping that someone generous will come forward and help you. I have been a surrogate twice in the past and found my IP's online. I found one set here and one of fertility connections. Fertility connections is good because people can put up a profile and potential surrogates can look through them and decide who to contact and vice versa. Your friend will have to start actively looking for a surrogate if he is serious about starting a family. As for the egg side of things, most surrogates prefer not to use their own eggs in which case they could use an egg donor (which adds more time and money to the equation) though there is the odd surrogate who is happy to use her own eggs.

    Good luck!

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    rainbowbabe  (01-08-2013)

  8. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by simrach View Post
    Finding a surrogate or being a Surrogate looking for IP's is nothing like looking for a sperm donor. There is no clinic or agency that has profiles for surrogates to look at, it's simply a manner of putting yourself out there and hoping that someone generous will come forward and help you. I have been a surrogate twice in the past and found my IP's online. I found one set here and one of fertility connections. Fertility connections is good because people can put up a profile and potential surrogates can look through them and decide who to contact and vice versa. Your friend will have to start actively looking for a surrogate if he is serious about starting a family. As for the egg side of things, most surrogates prefer not to use their own eggs in which case they could use an egg donor (which adds more time and money to the equation) though there is the odd surrogate who is happy to use her own eggs.

    Good luck!
    Thanks very much for that, I had a feeling it would have to be very different from choosing a donor. So it's more they put up a profile and then a surrogate offers their help if they like what they see and read etc. Hmm I hope they find someone generous enough. I would imagine it would be such a hard thing to find a surrogate. It's asking a lot from someone and I hope one day I can help at least one family. I think it would be an amazing thing to do.

    Can I ask what do you like for when you are picking a couple? He is already looking at the Fertility Connections website because he wants to get on with it. I want to be able to help give him some pointers if I can. What will give them a good chance? There are so many out there needing help. How do you decide who is more deserving? Or who is more favourable to help?

    Thanks in advance!


    Two girls, one dream and baby you are it!

  9. #7
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    Yes they will have to put themselves out there. If they wait for a surrogate to come to them it could never happen! They will need to be proactive, they should possible look at joining the surrogacy Australia page on Facebook as well as there are potential surrogates there as well.

    When I look for IP's I look for someone I would choose to be friends with in real life and someone who wants the same things I do. It's such a personal thing that hopefully they will find a surrogate that they get along with well and feel comfortable around.

  10. #8
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    When I was looking I would generally look for someone I thought I liked and then contact them. I think the key is to show you are interested. A few times I contacted some couples and they took days to email me back. By then I had moved on thinking they weren't interested anymore. I wanted to know they were serious and understood exactly what a surrogate goes through to help them have a family. Then I would usually meet them and see how we got on in person. If something didn't feel right I would let them know. Only once did I turn someone down and keep looking for other IP's. Hope that helps!


 

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