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    Default The negative perceptions of both formula feeding and breastfeeding

    After the recent "Do you judge" threads, I saw this and thought I would post

    http://www.fearlessformulafeeder.com/2013/07/how-the-other-half-lives-negative-perceptions-of-formula-feeding-and-breastfeeding-and-why-they-both-suck/


    I love FFF, and I thought this article was really interesting. I am sure I will be shot down in flames as it is clearly a supporting FF site, but I found that she gave a voice to some of the things I have felt and occasionally still do.

    "It’s a complicated issue for me to write about, this shaming of women for different feeding methods. My personal **** rises to the surface – I can’t help feel resentful that breastfeeding moms get New York Times articles and fundraising campaigns and nurse-ins to help them counteract the ignorance and cruelty, while formula feeding moms are told they are being defensive, whiny and overly-sensitive when we complain about the insults directed at us."

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    Guest654  (26-07-2013),Purple Lily  (26-07-2013)

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    That was an awesome read!!!!
    Last edited by Purple Lily; 26-07-2013 at 13:16.

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    That was a FANTASTIC read!!

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    Yes, it was a very good read. The comments were interesting as well. Perhaps someone needs to do a study on the risks/benefits of ff vs breastfeeding, and then compare that study to one done on the psychological effects of judgement about a persons chosen feeding method.

    It's sounding as though the psychological harm being done to those on both sides of the debate is fairly significant. Pretty awful really.

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    If someone was abused or mistreated for bottle feeding, I'd definitely go along to a "bottle-feed-in" as a mum who has both bf and ff. The most telling and saddening thing is that this is one scenario that pits mother against mother- and for what? Your choice of feeding your child one way does not affect my life in the slightest. It would be awesome if we could all just accept each others choices and support each other instead of sniping at one another over something that boils down to personal choice and need.

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    I think one of the issues is that most of the comments/abuse/negativity mums get regarding formula feeding seem to occur in "safe" environments. Snarky nurses, superior mums at mother's group. The comments are often considered "justifiable" due to the location. A nurse lectures you and makes a snarky remark about artificial feeding, reducing you to tears? Well, it's OK, because she is a nurse and it is her job to tow the party line. It's to be expected, even.

    There is ways to promote one thing that does not belittle those who choose differently.

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    I thought the analogy of your child being taught to read was a great one. Yes, be proud that (in this example) your child can read early, but to say "Well, I sacrificed X amount of time every night to MAKE it happen, and if only ALL mothers did this... blah blah..." is just ridiculous and deserving of the little eye rolly guy.

    And it's crazy how there is SO much focus on BF vs FF, and not what kids are eating from 6 months onwards!

    DD was FF, but was on solids from 5mths. I've always tried to make sure she ate healthily, and yet I know people who BF who feed their kids a load of processed/ junk foods. That's fine - really no judgment there from me - UNLESS the same people then make a big deal about how important BF is and how people should try to do it all costs.

    I don't get how people view BF vs FF as such a major issue, but not a million other things - what solids your child eats, how much activity they get per day, what they learn/ what they are taught, etc.

    To me (and from my understanding of the available evidence and latest WHO report) there is not a big difference in outcome between children who were BF or FF. For something where the outcome is potentially negligible and - at any rate - is up for debate, I genuinely can't see why some people are so involved in whether others BF or FF. Do they apply the same judgment to how many serves of fruit other people's kids eat per day? Or which bread they buy?

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    BlissedOut  (26-07-2013),Purple Lily  (26-07-2013),risfaerie  (26-07-2013),snowqu33n  (26-07-2013)

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    I don't really understand why there is so much importance placed on BF vs FF, but it is undeniable that there is. It seems to cause so much angst and guilt. It seems to be one of those issues that everyone has an opinion on, regardless of experience, regardless of status.

    I know women who feel guilt because they "failed" as a bfer. I know women who feel guilt because they only bf for 6 months. I don't see either as a failure, personally.

    I think for a lot of people this is the first big choice that you make as a new parent. And if you choose FF, there is really not much chance of going back. I know for me a lot of the guilt I felt with my first child was the wondering whether I had really made the right choice. It's scary, thinking that you have potentially caused your child harm 3 weeks into their life. Often you have not done the research and comparison, and the only people you have to ask are the clinic nurses, who have their own guidelines to follow.

    It's tough when you think that maybe you did not "bond" with your kid enough because you did not bf them. I worried about it a lot. In hindsight, that worry was pointless, DD and I are well and truly bonded, ditto myself and DS.

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