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    Default What's the right thing to do?

    So if a friends husband is trying it on with you, what is the right thing to do (beyond obviously telling him to stop!)? Tell her or not tell her?

    Yes I've been faced with this dilemma recently, and I didn't tell her, and she has found the messages, and I'm apparently the worst person in the world, coz you know, it's MY fault he was coming after me?

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    lambjam is offline Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!
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    If she's found messages then what choice do you have but to tell her?

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    If she found the messages then she can see that you've said no to him. If shes blaming you when faced with the evidence that he's a tool then you probably did do the right thing not telling her... Or more... This would be the outcome either way, she wouldn't be ready to accept that it's his fault.

    Suckie situation though! Do you think she'll come to see sense?

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    He's obviously changed the story, as in said he'd deleted your initial sms's to him etc..

    The truth always comes out. You'll see. It will take however long but she will figure it out.

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    Last edited by Rarity; 02-01-2014 at 12:38.

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    HUGS. Maybe she just needs time to get her head around the fact that her husband did that and she is grabbing at straws to explain it away, It is easier to believe you lead him astray than it is to believe the person she loves and planned to spend the rest of her life with is a butt hole. Give her time to process it all,
    Last edited by LoveLivesHere; 23-07-2013 at 17:39.

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    I imagine it must be gut-wrenching to find that kind of thing. And very tempting to blame the more expendable party, rather than admitting your marriage is over.

    You've been put into a horrid situation, but it might help to bear in mind that her situation is even worse.

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    This has happened to me. The wife obviously was told a story and was mad at me. I simply posted her a letter the old fashion way and said whenever she was ready I have the original conversations saved and printed out that show I clearly told him to back off.

    Two months later he's tried it on with someone else, she called me asked for the copies. They broke up. We are still friends.

    Give her time. It's rough for her too so just wait.

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    A similar thing happened to me, although he tried it on in person.... I declined and withdrew from the friendship from both of them. They were getting married a few months later so I told him he had better tell her or I would. That was a mistake as he obviously painted it to be my fault and we're no longer friends....

    She never asked me what happend, so I guess in the long run, she probably did me a favour, as I don't want people like that in my life.

    Hope you know it's not your fault. It took me a very long time to no longer feel angry/upset about the whole thing.

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    Last edited by Rarity; 02-01-2014 at 12:38.


 

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