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  1. #1
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    Default Confused, stressed and dont know what to do about DS2. Whats wrong with him *long*

    Hi Ladies im so confused as to what to do about my DS2 so I was hoping some of you may be able to help me.

    Dont even really know where to start but DS2 is now 4 and is extremely delayed in his speech and comprehension. As a baby he hit most of his physical milestones within the normal - early range and was even considered advanced by the age of 18 months, but thats where it stopped. Basically from 18 months he just didnt really progress. He definitely did not regress or anything but just became stagnate in regards to his speech and comprehension.

    He is unlike any other kid I have met. He doesnt really talk very well (says roughly 100ish words regularly) but he babbles a lot. Like he cant find the words to communicate so will just make up his own or use a word that he knows even though he is aware that it isnt right (you can just read it in his eyes and body language). He is very chatty and will happily talk/babble to strangers in the shops and is very social. He is very cuddly and is always wanting kisses and cuddles and anyone who comes to our door he will run out and give them a cuddle and want to talk to them. Which can be awkward when its the postman etc lol

    He has been seeing a speech therapist for almost a year now and has started kindy at a special language development school but made only minimal progress. Its almost like he doesnt retain anything however will surprise us and quite easily recite (not by naming the letter but by doing the actions that the school make up to go with each letter) and recognise letters but cant recall any colours when prompted. Except for his dreamlite where he will tell me 'look, yellow, blue, green' but that took me months of sitting with him going over it again and again. He can write his own name except for the 'k' and is very good at controlling the pencil/texta when writing but doesnt recognise that its his name. When you point to is and say 'Jake' he responds with 'What?' or 'Yes?' as if you are calling to get his attention. His teachers get frustrated with him as he will hardly sit still and pay attention when they are doing activities as a class but is quite good when its 1 on 1.

    His speech therapist is great and he loves going to speech and is starting to finally comprehend the games that they play and what he has to do. She works with a range of special needs kids and I asked her what she thinks could be wrong with him but she is completely stumped. She described him as 'cloudy' She says he shows minimal traits of ASD, ADHD and dyspraxia but doesnt really fit any particular category.

    As a requirement for him to goto this school he had to see a pead to rule out autism as this school doesnt accept kids with ASD just kids with language related problems and the pead was confident he wasnt ASD and said that his comprehension is so low due to his extreme language delay but was advanced when it came to his motor skills.

    I know its silly but I am terrified that he is just gonna be labeled ASD as they dont know whats wrong. My sister is high functioning ASD and DHs uncle is very low functioning ASD. As I was 13 when my sister was born I very much remember what she was like as a baby/little kid and DS2 is just sooo different. I know its a spectrum but I really dont think he has it as he has so many traits in his personality that are very non ASD like.

    I just wish I knew what was wrong. Its so hard not knowing. DH pretty much has his head in the sand a little bit about it and thinks that he will eventually catch up and that there is nothing wrong with him. Says all he needs is to repeat kindy as he is the youngest in his class. DH was a bit of a late bloomer himself and thinks he is just like him and just needs this extra time. I agree that he needs to repeat kindy but his teacher said that this school doesnt do it. I just dont know what to do. DS1 is 2 years older (but only 1 year above DS2 at school) and he is doing really well and has come leaps and bounds however I am terrified that DS2 wont be allowed to repeat. There is no way he can do the school work DS1 is currently doing. He cant even keep up now. Im so stressed out.

  2. #2
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    MilkingMaid is offline Winner 2009 - Mod Award - most supportive member
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    You sound really at your wits end here... I have no idea, didn't want to just read and not reply.

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    FertileMertile  (23-07-2013)

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    I don't have a lot of advice but I will come back later as I need to dash to take DS to speech therapy. It sounds like he had some similar issues to your DS, he had/has a profound speech delay and possibly ASD and just a complete lack of comprehension of the world.

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    FertileMertile  (23-07-2013)

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    I would be getting a referral to a Developmental Paed and asking for a referral to a paediatric OT, Clin Psych and getting the school's Psych to do some observations. We are kind of going through the same thing with our 5 year old. He has been assessed and is not on the Spectrum. His speech was quite delayed (has now made massive improvements and has now an 'age appropriate" speech delay) but has problems 'retaining' information when it comes to letters and sounds. I can highly recommend the book 'The Out Of Sync Child' by Carol Kranowitz. I got my copy off Book Depository. It was free delivery and came quite quickly. It is all about Sensory Processing Disorder, what it looks like and how you can help to improve it. There is a lot of literature around if you want to read more about it. BIG. I know how stressful it is when you don't have a clear answer but you know something is not right.

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    FertileMertile  (23-07-2013)

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    I'm sorry to hear about your son and his issues. PPs sound like they have more knowledge than me in this area. I'm a teacher, and just astounded by what the school is telling you. Is it private? Because state schools have no right to turn away students if you live in the catchment area. If it's a private school I would suggest that if you are good enough for them to take your money, then you have the right to ask for your son to repeat a year. I would be fighting that, and asking for evidence that he would have his learning needs met if he moved up a year. It sounds like it would be distressing for him and for your family.

    Sorry, but I think it sounds like a horrid school without your son's interests at heart. Have they put in a referral for an assessment? Because they should have done. Has he qualified for specialist one to one time? Have they recommended getting eyes and hearing checked? Are they differentiating the curriculum for him?

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    I feel for you OP. It must be hard seeing him struggle with language after being advanced earlier on.

    I'm no expert. I do wonder, considering the human brain takes an average of 24 years to fully develop, whether it is a developmental delay that will resolve itself or improve markedly over time. It sounds like you are doing a great job with him and that he will receive the best support. If he is deliberately substituting words he is obviously intelligent and creative.

    Maybe a delayed start to schooling could be an option that may benefit him?

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    Quote Originally Posted by mrsharvey View Post
    I'm sorry to hear about your son and his issues. PPs sound like they have more knowledge than me in this area. I'm a teacher, and just astounded by what the school is telling you. Is it private? Because state schools have no right to turn away students if you live in the catchment area. If it's a private school I would suggest that if you are good enough for them to take your money, then you have the right to ask for your son to repeat a year. I would be fighting that, and asking for evidence that he would have his learning needs met if he moved up a year. It sounds like it would be distressing for him and for your family.

    Sorry, but I think it sounds like a horrid school without your son's interests at heart. Have they put in a referral for an assessment? Because they should have done. Has he qualified for specialist one to one time? Have they recommended getting eyes and hearing checked? Are they differentiating the curriculum for him?
    It's actually a fantastic school but its a special language development school and places are very limited (and very hard to get a place, I was very lucky to get both boys in) Ds1 has 12 kids in his class and ds2 has 10 kids in his class. They normally have 1 teacher and 2 aids in the classroom and also have speech therapists come into the classroom to do activities and observe to help the teachers with strategies for each child. The school follows a normal curriculum but they focus very heavily on language and only goes up to year 1. Ds2 teacher is fantastic and really is trying her best to give him the best possible opportunity to thrive but as he finds it hard to communicate he can sometimes be difficult behavior wise. She is all for him repeating but said the school is really funny about it and it almost never happens. She managed to get a child to repeat last year but she said she really had to fight for it and that child was ill and missed a lot of school. Like I said though she is willing to help us do this and I also have our speech therapist organising the school psych to do further observation and assessments. I just think that they think he has something wrong with him so if we rule out a diagnosis then I think we will have a better chance. DH is very good with things like this and can always argue his point very convincingly (which is rather annoying when I'm on the other side of that arguement lol) so I'm hoping with all of us in agreement we will get the school to agree to our request.

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    Sorry, I wrote that in the middle of the night while bfing. I didn't mean to imply that it's not a good school, I hope you didn't take it that way. Just that I would be pushing for them to have plans in place to support him if they do move him up. I've seen so many special needs kids get lost in the system as they are pushed from year to year, and it's something I feel strongly about. Sounds like an exciting school, though!

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    maybe check this out http://gapsaustralia.com.au/
    this diet has a focus on autism in parts but it also mentions brain fog issues
    I have heard lots of stories of people having success with it, however some parts of the book sound a bit OTT to me.
    I have not idea if it would help in your situation but might be worth a read

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    Quote Originally Posted by mrsharvey View Post
    Sorry, I wrote that in the middle of the night while bfing. I didn't mean to imply that it's not a good school, I hope you didn't take it that way. Just that I would be pushing for them to have plans in place to support him if they do move him up. I've seen so many special needs kids get lost in the system as they are pushed from year to year, and it's something I feel strongly about. Sounds like an exciting school, though!
    No not at all! I completely agree and that's why I applied for this school. DH was really skeptical about it all as it was gonna cost so much money just to apply for a place (not school fees but you need pead reports, speech reports etc) but once he went to the info session he realised that this really is the best place for them. They really do care a lot about the kids and I think they all really get a kick out of seeing the kids thrive. It's been fantastic for DS1 and he has done so well and even on a social level as all the kids are each others level. Last year at school ds1 was a bit outcasted as he wasnt able to communicate with them very well but this year he is Mr popular!


 

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