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  1. #501
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrsTugs View Post
    I've recently been unconsciously teaching DH the art of "following through" lol. He is beginning to understand that these days when I say something I mean it. That it's not ok to make the SAME mistake a bazillion times and just say sorry, only to do it again.
    Sorry for crashing but I am interested to hear how you are doing this? Ten years and I am starting to think "sorry" is the get out of jail free card!!

  2. #502
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    MrsT will you be applying those techniques with the baby or as the baby gets older?

    Things I've read seem a little contradictory. But most seem to say when you have a newborn trust your instincts. I'm hoping I'll work it out when the time comes.

    Oh and please keep ranting Not that we see them as rants. I think it's important to express your opinions and experiences here so that we can all learn from them.

    We don't have any set plans on saving before TTC. We're fortunate we've done the wedding and house thing. So financially we're pretty comfortable. Although that is on the assumption I keep working after baby. Haven't decided yet whether it'll be full time or part time. A part of me thinks it'll have to be full time as I don't want my career progression to stop/slow down. But I also know DH wants me to go part time. Have you girls decided what you'll do? I know some of you have mentioned it before. How did you make the decision? I just know if I go part time it'll be so much harder to make my budget and KPIs at work that I won't rise up the ranks. But when baby arrives maybe it won't be that important anymore? Might just have to take it as it comes

  3. #503
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    Coco I am not sure what I'll do. I was discussing it with my Mum yesterday because my sister is so lucky she has her inlaws and they are retired so gets a lot of babysitting help from them. I only have my side here as DH's fam is on the East coast. So in terms of going back to work, I think we will have to get a part time nanny. DH works a funny roster, some days shifts, some night shifts and 4 days off in between. So to commit to day care for set days is not practical for us, as I don't want bubs in daycare when DH has his 4 days off and could be caring/bonding with him/her. So a nanny with flexi days would be best. I was hoping to go back 3 days. I don't know if DH would actually prefer me there full time. The hard thing is that I am full time now and no organisation has to be flexible to say you can come back part time, only a full time contract is what's contracted. So that is another debacle. I might be looking for a whole new job if my company now doesn't want to allow me part time hours. It would be ideal if they would allow a slow progression back to full time over a year. We will see.

    When do you think you'd return to work? I'm thinking 6 months because that is roughly when PPL stops and annual leave pay would run out.

  4. #504
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    Hi ladies just popping in to wish you all well on your TTC journey wish I could still join you but unfortunately not now
    DH and I have decided we are really lucky to have 4 beautiful girls and won't go ahead with bubba 5. I've had an awful week with one of my daughters being diagnosed with a mountain of things so I need to focus a lot of my time on getting her well.
    All the best and hope I see a lot of BFP's from you all next year xx

  5. #505
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    BabyG4 - I'm sorry to hear about your LO. I hope everything is okay and works out. Please drop by and say hello if you like. Maybe things might change in the future but in the mean time I am sure you will enjoy your time with those 4 precious girls!!!

    I actually enjoy reading other people's rants because it creates an open environment and helps everyone else to feel like they can also have a rant or express themselves. I am sure I will be ranting a lot more about the difficulties of using the same donors as we start the process!!! At least I have given you guys a heads up haha.

    As for the saving money thing - we have plenty of saving to do right now but once the IVF is paid for we also have the commitment ceremony to pay for which is essentially a mini wedding. The thing is because we have babies and our new home on the brain we have set a very small budget for the ceremony. We won't be spending more than $7k on it.

    Still seems like a lot of money when that's almost one round of IVF but we are okay with that.. It could be a lot more!!!

    After that's out of the way we have agreed we will be no more than $5k on baby stuff - all the essentials and clothes etc. Then the rest of our savings will be going straight to building our new home




    Two girls, one dream and baby you are it!

  6. #506
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    Yeah $7k seems good for a low-budget "wedding". Definitely do-able, and still keep it memorable :-)
    Our wedding cost about $30k. That is all I'm speaking about that because the thought gives me migraines lol.
    Tbh I'm really really having trouble with this. I don't honestly think we can wait a full 12 months... :-/
    I keep telling myself it's smart, logical, mature, blah blah blah. But really when it comes down to it I'm dying for a baby and I don't know if I can wait 8-|
    Guess ill sit down with DH tonight and we can talk through everything.

  7. #507
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    Quote Originally Posted by bedlover View Post
    Sorry for crashing but I am interested to hear how you are doing this? Ten years and I am starting to think "sorry" is the get out of jail free card!!
    Bedlover, I have made it clear from this second forward, if he has more than 8 drinks in one night then I will remove myself from the situation completely (aka spend a night with a gf) and if he comes home late or doesn't call when specified (these are big issues we have, so that's what we are working on) then he takes his pillow and sleeps on the couch.
    I've set clear expectations, with no room for misinterpretation. I've set clear punishments that are relevant to the problem, and I follow through, no matter the circumstances.
    DH has never spent a night on the couch in his life, so I think the night that he has to do it, may be the night that snaps him out of it.

    The reason I implemented now, is the last straw happened last night where we were supposed to have a couples night and he said he had a mate who was having engagement drinks. So I said he could go of course as its a big occasion but only for an hr or two as it was our night, and be home before 7. He strolled in the door at 9.15 and that was only after an irate call from me demanding him home.
    I've decided enough is enough, so lets see if my following through helps :-)

  8. #508
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    Sorry I'm trying to answer everyone's questions LOL.
    we want to save $10k to live off in the first 6months. I want us to be comfortable and not have to worry about spending money we don't have or getting into debt.
    Hopefully if my business takes off it can go from hobby to full time working from home, which I would happily do at any time after the bub.
    If not, I don't want to go back to work too early. I'm family driven not career driven, so to get a part time waitress or checkout chick role or something for a bit of extra cash that would not bother me.
    I would do it only when necessary, so any time after they're 6 months old, but hopefully can be more like 2yrs if we budget well!

  9. #509
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    There are so many ppl becoming pregnant atm oh my. I'm seeing all these things on fb. They are all on the East coast so makes things a lot more bearable haha. I totally understand not wanting to wait MrsT! I'm getting super clucky these days, but there's just too many things we're commited to at this point in time until end of Jan (holidays with friends and bridal party members). So not ideal to get preg just yet although I'd love to. That is the only thing giving me strength, and the fact that I want to save some more $ so we can get by for awhile comfortably after bubs is born. Otherwise I know DH will be stressing out and that's the last thing I want with a new born (screaming baby, stressed hubby )

    Oh and good job with your following through and DH...might seem hard now, but the the effort you're putting in now will only pay off in the end I think. At least you know when bubs is born that you've already set some clear guidelines

    Sorry to hear about no more bubs Baby, maybe later down the track you can try again?

    Rainbow, IVF sounds quite costly, but very much worth it! I wouldn't have my nephew if it wasn't for IVF. 7k is def an achievable budget for your ceremony. The biggest cost is food and drink and venue, so if you can scale down on that, should be easy done

    Spent most of the morn on amazon looking at parenting books. So many great ones! I think I have 10 in my wish list haha. I don't know how to approach my sister to ask for her books. I don't want her to think I'm getting preg right now. I think she can be a bit judgemental (or more that she thinks I should 'enjoy' my alone time with DH first). But, I do wish she would just hand them over. Think she'll do it when she finds out I'm UTD.

  10. #510
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    I am really sorry, and I am not ignoring all of you I promise.

    DD is still really unwell and I haven't really had time to think at the moment. I will go back and catch up.

    I hope you are all well and welcome to all the newbies xx


 

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