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  1. #1
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    Default Single dad preparing for Fatherhood. HELP :(

    Hi Guys,

    My baby is due next week. Il give a bit of background into the situation. We were together a few months and we got pregnant very soon. She already has a child and was out of a four year relationship. She was upset to be pregnant and I tried to comfort her and show her I would be there but she kept lashing out and her interest in the relationship fizzled. Eventually, I decided to man up and say I would be there for the baby however I dont want to be in a relationship with this woman. I immediately regretted breaking up with her and tried to reconcile a few times since. To no avail. Last attempt was a few months ago. We still talk on the phone occasionally and texts etc. I just wanted to see if anyone had any experience of co-parenting a new born baby. Ive been to the scans and I have told her I want to be there for the child 100% and willing to make an effort. We broke up 6 months ago. To be honest guys, I still have feelings for her. I would love to put the past behind us and work towards having a family with her, but she has neither asked or hinted for this to happen. Has anyone else been in a similiar situation? She has told me I am going to he on the birth certificate also which I suppose is good! I do really want to be a good dad to my child all the way! Does the Mother's mood/feelings towards the man change when the baby is born? Or what way should I play things between now and the baby is born and beyond? MANY THANKS

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    I think from a woman's point of view it's best to just be her friend and be there for her.. who knows, over time you may become much closer and it might turn into romance again. Hope it all works out for you!

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    It's hard to say. My exH and I split when I was 5 months pregnant with our second so a very different situation. I think you just need to be mindful of her wishes/feelings and be there for your bub as best you can. She may change her feelings but she may not so I'd just do the best you can as a dad and see what happens. Congratulations on your lil bub. Hope it all goes well.

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    I was the woman in that situation: fell pregnant, already had a child from my 12 year marriage, broke up while I was pregnant.

    Just be there for her and show your support. You sound like a decent guy with a great attitude, keep that up.

    The good news is that once the baby is born her pregnancy hormones will go away, and she may well mellow a lot. I was a crazy hormonal witch while pregnant with DD. Poor FOB, I got so snappy with him over silly little things!

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    Thank you all so much for your words of encouragement. I can admit things did get a bit intense. I am the kind of man that likes to fix every single little problem and can annoy people. I did do that, got an angry phone call from her mother telling me to stop and I did. That was months ago though and havent heard from her mother since. We have been talking casually from time to time, just making light conversation over texts and I have called her a couple of times to see how she is. I told her that I always aim to be on the same page with her and I feel blessed Im going to be a father. I admit I did say I was a little down that we arnt gona be a family and she said that she is happy doing her own thing. She has never been hormonal with me or snappy or anything like that on the phone, she has always been mellow and calm-ish! I dont know how il feel with the baby in my arms. It may be for the best that we dont get back together in the end. Who knows. BUt all i need to do is make sure im there for the baby. Which I will be and by the sounds of things she is going to let me be involved. Which is good! I suppose. Just breaks my heart we wont be together to enjoy all of the baby all the time.

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    Hugs x

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    Quote Originally Posted by B00533842 View Post
    Thank you all so much for your words of encouragement. I can admit things did get a bit intense. I am the kind of man that likes to fix every single little problem and can annoy people. I did do that, got an angry phone call from her mother telling me to stop and I did. That was months ago though and havent heard from her mother since. We have been talking casually from time to time, just making light conversation over texts and I have called her a couple of times to see how she is. I told her that I always aim to be on the same page with her and I feel blessed Im going to be a father. I admit I did say I was a little down that we arnt gona be a family and she said that she is happy doing her own thing. She has never been hormonal with me or snappy or anything like that on the phone, she has always been mellow and calm-ish! I dont know how il feel with the baby in my arms. It may be for the best that we dont get back together in the end. Who knows. BUt all i need to do is make sure im there for the baby. Which I will be and by the sounds of things she is going to let me be involved. Which is good! I suppose. Just breaks my heart we wont be together to enjoy all of the baby all the time.
    You never know how things will end up but just be a good man for her and your baby and you'll get through ok!!


 

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