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  1. #81
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    Holy cr.p! Just read this to my hubby and he is just as astounded as I am! We have joint accounts. All hubby's pay goes into that account to pay bills and rent etc and all my pay goes into our joint savings account. We get $50 each per week into separate accounts for fun money - clothes, going out, presents for birthdays/Xmas (for each other). This will continue when I go on maternity. All my leave pay will go into savings and then when that runs out any benefit money I claim will go into savings. We will continue to live on hubby's wage.

  2. #82
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Wtf? How old is he? I don't mean to be rude but does he actually love you and see you as a life partner?
    This... and WTF!

  3. #83
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    Quote Originally Posted by TwinkleFi View Post
    Agree with most other posters on here- joint bank account makes it easier.
    Its always a tricky one tho. Look at it from the outside, you are leaving your well-paid job to be the primary carer for the child. You are missing out on your income, your super contributions, and your career advancements while you do this. It only seems fair that your husband makes up some of this difference.

    You are taking on the traditional role of being a mother, so he needs to be the traditional bread-winner, even if its just a temporary arrangment.

    Good luck!
    Very well put.

    OP I think you need to remind him of this - that you are already being "hit" financially so he needs to pick up the slack.

  4. #84
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    DH and I shared an account as soon as our first bubs was born...He works,I work,we get centrelink,all paid into joint account.I find it reeeealllly weird people in serious relationships with children involved wouldn't share an account?? My DH does all the money stuff,pays the bills,and then we get "pocket money"which we can spend on whatever we like that week.I am honestly sooooo crap with money,I would honestly just go spend a paycheck in an hour without DH

  5. #85
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    DH and I used to have separate account but have nearly always had Internet access to each others to transfer money if needed. Actually, I just remembered that when I was 19 I was made redundant and he financially supported me until I found another job (4 months) we weren't even living together at that stage.

    Once I fell pregnant we merged our accounts and all of our pay went into the one... 12 months after having bub, I resigned from work and hubby got a FIFO job in WA (I don't get any money from centrelink at all!), so he essentially sends his whole pay packet home to me to pay the bills/mortgage/savings and everything else! Anything left over is "fun" money and we both spend as we please. We only run big purchases by each other to make sure we are t leaving the other short.

    I do understand why some couples don't like to have joint accounts, but not sharing money or splitting down the middle seems weird to me

  6. #86
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    Buttoneska is offline Winner 2010- Most Community Minded Thread Award
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    Tricky one it sounds logical on paper I guess but I dunno we share all our money it's not his or mine it's ours

  7. #87
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    When I was partnered, we didn't have a joint bank account. We had always intended to but never got around to it. In hindsight, this turned out to be a blessing in disguise as he never ended up getting a job, contributed zero financially and contributed barely any effort toward 'home duties'. Having separate finances made it much easier to separate, if you ever see yourself going down that route....

    One of my friends has her own bank account, her partner has his own bank account and they have a joint bank account. Each pays 50% of their pay into the joint bank account and everything is paid out of this account- food, rent, utilities, etc. The remaining 50% is their 'own' money, for play or savings. It works out well as he works full time and she is a uni student. So his contribution in dollar terms is probably around $600, whilst hers is maybe $150. They aren't married, so it works for them at the moment.

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    Quote Originally Posted by nudge88 View Post
    One of my friends has her own bank account, her partner has his own bank account and they have a joint bank account. Each pays 50% of their pay into the joint bank account and everything is paid out of this account- food, rent, utilities, etc. The remaining 50% is their 'own' money, for play or savings. It works out well as he works full time and she is a uni student. So his contribution in dollar terms is probably around $600, whilst hers is maybe $150. They aren't married, so it works for them at the moment.
    That still means she has only $150 of her money, and he gets $600 to play with. it might work now, but for a life long partnership it doesn't sound very equitable.

  9. #89
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bubbles10 View Post
    I don't think one joint account with both people accessing it works for all couples, especially if finances are a bit tight. Too easy for people to feel things are uneven, or if both are spenders for the account to be empty when money is needed.

    We have a few accounts. We each have an individual account, and there are a few joint accounts, although one person generally controls each of these. From the main income earner's account, certain amount of money is transferred to a 'joint account' for bills each fortnight.

    Each person having their own money allows them to save for something special or to splurge on something, without having to get permission from the other.

    Money is a really tricky area, and can put pressure on the relationship, when the two people have different earning capabilities. Trying to increase the communication and devlop some guidelines between the two of you now is a good thing. If you find you can't come to a solution, getting outside help might be worth looking into. Relationships Australia has a pretty good reputation if you want a starting base.
    Agreed. Joint accounts aren't a given for everyone.

    OH & I both have worked full time until this point & earned similar wages. He's a spender & I'm a saver, so having a joint account for everything wouldn't work for us. We do have a joint mortgage account, but otherwise finances are separate.

    Currently, we both pay an equal split of the mortgage & (very roughly) divide other bills. On balance, he pays more of the day to day bills, however, when it comes to making big purchases, I'm the one who can fork out the lump sum for a car, appliance etc. Separate finances means we are free to make our own choices with spending on hobbies and saving for things. It's worked for us for the past 11 years...marriage is not necessarily a reason to have a joint account! OH by his own admission said it's probably better we leave things as they are, since I'm much more disciplined at saving!

    I did wonder if we should go down the path of joint accounts given we will have a baby due soon - it all depends on how things go with me taking a drop in pay (I'll be on 12 months leave at reduced pay, then planning to return to work part time. In typical "me" fashion though, I have saved & meticulously planned ahead). That's something we'll have to think about & work out *together*.

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    I completely understand where you are coming from. DH and I do this, I am blessed to have a reasonable income so we basically live to my financial capabilities, he saves then pays huge amounts in cash for things like solar panels outright last year, large shed this year, will if things go to plan contribute to my short fall next year IF bub3 becomes a reality. We live well within our means as a family and he is awesome at saving. He can be a bit OTT when some things need to be bought but generally we 50:50 everything. It works for us. You just have to communicate and your DH needs to realise you will need help. I mentally struggled accepting help after DD1 was born- despite being married as I am very stubborn when it comes to bring independent.
    We also planned from the moment of conception our finances for the mat leave as it was unpaid, so entirely based on savings, except the baby bonus.


 

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