+ Reply to Thread
Page 6 of 10 FirstFirst ... 45678 ... LastLast
Results 51 to 60 of 95
  1. #51
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    19,600
    Thanks
    3,256
    Thanked
    4,044
    Reviews
    8
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Malon20 View Post
    Ok, so I have progressed a little! He is open to the idea of a joint account (thinks it's a good idea, in fact), but hasn't quite agreed on the whole 'equal sharing' thing. He even suggested last night that when I'm back to earning a similar wage to him, I should back-pay him for all the mortgage contributions I didn't make during maternity leave! Anyway, he's going to speak to his dad for advice, and I'm pretty sure his dad will agree with me, so ....nearly there!
    Really weird thinking. Does he understand that it's his baby too that you'll be staying home with?

    It's not like you're housemates.

    Sent from my GT-I9300 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  2. #52
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    4,589
    Thanks
    1,303
    Thanked
    2,569
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    OMG I cant believe he suggested you 'pay him back'. What an a$$!

  3. #53
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    3,517
    Thanks
    432
    Thanked
    3,246
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    If he speaks to his dad and his dad thinks you should backpay your DH, go online and find what an average childcare worker earns for an eight hour day. Then find out the penalty rates (time and a half Saturday and double time Sunday, double time and a half for public Holidays) and overtime rates for anything over eight hours. Also present him for the bill for the meal he's expected to supply if you work more than 10 hours in a day and the bill for the babysitter you are required to have so you can take a fifteen minute break, a half hour break and an hour break. If he also expects you to do all the housework, then find out how much a cleaner charges hourly and charge him that for eight hours in a day. If he expects you to do all the cooking, then work out how much a cook/chef earns hourly and work it out at 10 hours per day.

    Then write up the contracts, show him the wage you expect him to pay you and then when it's signed give him your TFN and bank details, tell him you expect to be paid on x day.
    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  4. The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Jennaisme For This Useful Post:

    babybabycakes  (17-07-2013),Bubbles10  (17-07-2013),dancingchipmunk  (17-07-2013),MissMuppet  (17-07-2013),munchkin275  (17-07-2013),Pumpkin1106  (17-07-2013),Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (04-09-2013),Spotdog  (17-07-2013)

  5. #54
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    1,358
    Thanks
    721
    Thanked
    281
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Malon20 View Post
    Ok, so I have progressed a little! He is open to the idea of a joint account (thinks it's a good idea, in fact), but hasn't quite agreed on the whole 'equal sharing' thing. He even suggested last night that when I'm back to earning a similar wage to him, I should back-pay him for all the mortgage contributions I didn't make during maternity leave! Anyway, he's going to speak to his dad for advice, and I'm pretty sure his dad will agree with me, so ....nearly there!
    That's ridiculous. I would send him a daycare bill - for 24/7 care (so include overtime rates etc, aldi send a bill for cooking, cleaning, doing 'social planning and household management', taxi rates for all car trips etc. Book in annual leave in these with contact details and costings to hire temp staff to cover your 'leave'. Also factor in 10 sick days a year. This should add upto between 80-100k - then ask for the difference between this and the mortgage contributions paid to you as your preferred salary increments (weekly, fortnightly, annual lump sum....)

  6. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to babybabycakes For This Useful Post:

    babycake  (17-07-2013),VicPark  (17-07-2013)

  7. #55
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    1,106
    Thanks
    128
    Thanked
    949
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Malon20 View Post
    Ok, so I have progressed a little! He is open to the idea of a joint account (thinks it's a good idea, in fact), but hasn't quite agreed on the whole 'equal sharing' thing. He even suggested last night that when I'm back to earning a similar wage to him, I should back-pay him for all the mortgage contributions I didn't make during maternity leave! Anyway, he's going to speak to his dad for advice, and I'm pretty sure his dad will agree with me, so ....nearly there!
    Woah. I can't believe he suggested this...and to a hormonal pregnant woman at that. Did you go nuts?!

    Hahahahaha back pay!!!!!!

    Totally agree you should present him with an invoice - and then say of course you'll give him a 50% discount to cover your share...must keep things equal after all.
    Last edited by grumpybump; 17-07-2013 at 12:02.

  8. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to grumpybump For This Useful Post:

    babybabycakes  (17-07-2013),Buttoneska  (17-07-2013),dancingchipmunk  (17-07-2013)

  9. #56
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    1,920
    Thanks
    1,148
    Thanked
    953
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Awards:
    Funniest Caption
    Quote Originally Posted by Malon20 View Post
    No idea. I'm thinking that he just hadn't thought it through at all. There's no logic to his argument, so I'm hoping he'll see sense! it basically comes down to a lack of appreciation that childcare is an equal contribution to the household. Once he gets his head around that hopefully it should work out...
    You sound like you are immensely strong and understanding to me. Kudos to you - I would probably be up for assault charges if dh said that to me!

  10. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to bpac For This Useful Post:

    Amiedoll  (17-07-2013),dancingchipmunk  (17-07-2013),GirlsRock  (17-07-2013),Gracie's Mum  (17-07-2013),Mokeybear  (17-07-2013),SpecialK  (17-07-2013)

  11. #57
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    2,831
    Thanks
    1,054
    Thanked
    1,215
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Malon20 View Post
    Ok, so I have progressed a little! He is open to the idea of a joint account (thinks it's a good idea, in fact), but hasn't quite agreed on the whole 'equal sharing' thing. He even suggested last night that when I'm back to earning a similar wage to him, I should back-pay him for all the mortgage contributions I didn't make during maternity leave! Anyway, he's going to speak to his dad for advice, and I'm pretty sure his dad will agree with me, so ....nearly there!
    Oh dear. I don't even know what to say. I am shocked at his back pay suggestion though.

    Now DH and I bought a house before we were engaged. We both had our incomes paid into our own separate accounts. Every fortnight I transferred all but $150 onto our mortgage account, now DH did the same. He earned more than me, so he did pay more onto the mortgage than i did. We had a joint credit card that we paid all bills, groceries, take away, nights out, birthday presents/gifts etc with.

    I am no longer working, but I still have my own bank account, DH checks the balance regularly and transfers money into it for me. We still use the joint credit card for most purchases, i use my cash for things the kids or i want, coffee, play centres etc. I rarely ever have to mention it, and in fact I rarely ever check the balance. I just assume DH has transferred money into it for me.

    good luck OP, I hope you guys can work something out, or I fear your DP will be questioning every cent you spend.

  12. #58
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    3,816
    Thanks
    379
    Thanked
    389
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by mrsharvey View Post
    It's probably a bit selfish but I do think of it as 'my' money and I believe the flip side to being sole breadwinner is being able to 'oversee' the spending, iykwim.
    Being the sole breadwinner in no way makes a person more responsible of overseeing the spending.

    By your logic, should a SAHP be able to make all parenting decisions on their own regardless of the working parents opinion or views?

  13. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Pina Colada For This Useful Post:

    HugsBunny  (17-07-2013),Lincolns mummy  (17-07-2013)

  14. #59
    FearlessLeader's Avatar
    FearlessLeader is offline Winner 2013 - Most Memorable Thread
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    10,724
    Thanks
    2,498
    Thanked
    9,116
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    I just did the maths, if you were to have a full time nanny (50 hours a week) you would be up for $1250 per week. That is the real cost of what you are providing for free. Please tell him that. I'm so cross for you, OP!

  15. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to FearlessLeader For This Useful Post:

    babybabycakes  (17-07-2013),Buttoneska  (17-07-2013),giggle berry  (17-07-2013),HugsBunny  (17-07-2013),LifeInShadesOfGrey  (17-07-2013),MissMuppet  (17-07-2013),munchkin275  (17-07-2013)

  16. #60
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    3,517
    Thanks
    432
    Thanked
    3,246
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by FearlessLeader View Post
    I just did the maths, if you were to have a full time nanny (50 hours a week) you would be up for $1250 per week. That is the real cost of what you are providing for free. Please tell him that. I'm so cross for you, OP!
    I may be a horrible human being. But I would love to have that conversation.

    Me: Honey, I can totally afford to keep up with 50/50 in bills with you!
    Him: That's great. How's that?
    Me: Well, for my services as a full time live in nanny you get to pay me $1250 per week. Minimum. Isn't that great!?
    Him: ... I can't afford that.
    Me: Oh, that's okay dear. Just pay what you can and backpay me your half of the bills when you can.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  17. The Following 17 Users Say Thank You to Jennaisme For This Useful Post:

    #Mama  (03-08-2013),babybabycakes  (17-07-2013),Boobycino  (17-07-2013),Chippa  (17-07-2013),dancingchipmunk  (17-07-2013),FearlessLeader  (17-07-2013),fingers xd  (06-09-2013),giggle berry  (17-07-2013),HugsBunny  (17-07-2013),LifeInShadesOfGrey  (17-07-2013),MilkingMaid  (17-07-2013),OJandMe  (08-08-2013),Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (04-09-2013),SoThisIsLove  (17-07-2013),SpecialK  (17-07-2013),Stiflers Mom  (17-07-2013),~BEXTER~  (05-09-2013)


 

Similar Threads

  1. can I use sick leave before my maternity leave starts?
    By lizzymcfizzy in forum Maternity Leave
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: 19-03-2013, 14:14
  2. Taking sick leave before maternity leave
    By quietlyhopeful in forum Pregnancy & Birth General Chat
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 25-01-2013, 15:36
  3. Worrying about money while I'm on parental leave :-(
    By JR03 in forum Family Finances
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 17-01-2013, 07:59

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Pebblebee
Parents spend hours looking for things they need NOW. The keys, the remote, darling daughter's treasured teddy. Stop wasting precious time looking & start finding with Bub Hub reviewed Pebblebee Smart Tag. Simply attach a Pebblebee and find it fast.
sales & new stuffsee all
Bub Hub Sales Listing
HAVING A SALE? Let parents know about it with a Bub Hub Sales listing. Listings are featured on our well trafficked Sales Page + selected randomly to appear on EVERY page
featured supporter
Softmats
Softmats specialises in safe, non-toxic, and durable play mats. The international Premium Dwinguler™ Play Mats and Premium Bubba Mat™ range of floor spaces are the best quality in the world.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!