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  1. #41
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    We are married and have a separate accounts. I am the only income earner, hubby doesn't work or claim benefits, and I pay 100% of everything. There's no way on Earth I would have joint accounts in our situation. It wouldn't sit right with me. It's probably a bit selfish but I do think of it as 'my' money and I believe the flip side to being sole breadwinner is being able to 'oversee' the spending, iykwim.
    But back when DH *was* earning money, it was far less than me (and I'm only a teacher, I don't have some massive income), and I had no problem contributing more to bills and daily living costs than he did.

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    We have a joint account which all bills/clothing/mortgage etc is paid from. But oddly we still have our own separate accounts that we had before we got together, all of them have money in them. Some are interest bearing accounts so we just left them there and others are our contingency accounts. We don't have access to those accounts but are openly discussed and factored in whenever we budget. We refer to them as our emergency stash.

    ETA: I'm the only one with the credit card, DH is an impulse buyer, I can easily not spend a cent except on food and bills.

    But OP I agree with a PP that said if that's the arrangement your partner wants then you need to charge him childcare rate - maybe that would make him see that it's a bit silly IMO what he is suggesting.

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    My dh and I have separate accounts but budget so that some things come out of my account and others his. I find it so strange that a married couple dont combine their income and budget together. But each to their own

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    This is something I have never thought about! DH and I have never argued about money. I sort out all bills and accounts, he normally checks to make sure there is money where he needs it, he buys what he needs, I do what I need, we do together what the family needs. We save if we need to save, we spend extra when it's there. I work when I do but nothing consistent so I have been reliant on DH's income for almost 7 years.

    We combined accounts as soon as we were married and I got a card for his credit account.

    I can see your reasons though, and agree if you are too keep separate accounts you should go by income, 66% income = 66% payment of bills.

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    Default Update

    Ok, so I have progressed a little! He is open to the idea of a joint account (thinks it's a good idea, in fact), but hasn't quite agreed on the whole 'equal sharing' thing. He even suggested last night that when I'm back to earning a similar wage to him, I should back-pay him for all the mortgage contributions I didn't make during maternity leave! Anyway, he's going to speak to his dad for advice, and I'm pretty sure his dad will agree with me, so ....nearly there!

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    OMG!!! Back pay him for mortgage payments? Seriously??? That's disgusting. Maybe you need to say he can pay you for childcare services whilst you are on maternity leave.

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  8. #47
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    MrJones&Me is offline sometimes as useless as the 'ueue' in queue
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    Holy sheet, this guy sounds nuts, like disconnected-from-reality nuts!

    Do you know where this has stemmed from?!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gracie's Mum View Post
    Is there a reason all of your money isn't shared? I don't think I've ever heard of any married couple who don't have combined finances to be honest? Not having a dig or anything but its worth talking about with him, especially now your about to welcome a bub. In our house all money is 'our' money, there's no yours and mine. Your situation sounds really unfair. I hope you work it out.
    Never been married but I assumed this was how most couples managed finances.

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    No idea. I'm thinking that he just hadn't thought it through at all. There's no logic to his argument, so I'm hoping he'll see sense! it basically comes down to a lack of appreciation that childcare is an equal contribution to the household. Once he gets his head around that hopefully it should work out...

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    Oh my god OP!

    I would be hurt and furious on a couple of levels!

    Also how date he discuss with his father what's fair and what's not fair, it's between you and your husband!

    I'm really shocked at his response OP, does he not see sacrifice is to be made by BOTH parents when a baby is born.

    Hugs!!!!


 

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