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  1. #851
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    I think I am after my son dying and 2 miscarriages I need to some happiness. Life has been too sad for too long.

  2. #852
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    Thanks for all the well wishes everyone, really appreciate it.

    Transfer was this morning and it wasn't the news we were expecting. I'm still trying to get my head back together and process it and decide "how" I want to manage my feelings & thoughts over the next 2 weeks.

    For me - the best thing will probably be... to not hope too hard that it's going to work... and I understand that it could very well work, I do. I've read the stories on here recently with Pixel and Rainbow and look - miracles are on their way But, I just can't let myself hope too much right now, I'm really flattened and surprised by our result and just don't know what to think at the moment. All I'm thinking is, here we go again.... how will we afford to get back here, should I use my own eggs next time - one more time with the same NK Cell treatment, since it's cheaper in Oz with the rebates.. and on it goes...all the time beating myself up about thinking negatively - errrrrrggghggh

    The reality of the numbers game started on Thursday when I rang the clinic to find out the results from Mondays retrieval. 13 eggs, 7 embryos, 5 looking good. 50% down. At that stage, pulling myself back up again, saying it will be ok. That's good numbers, they are young eggs.... and the nagging, uphill, internal bartering & battling began.

    Today, first thing Dr H says, is its not looking good to freeze any, "I really don't think we will have any left over to freeze, they haven't reached blastocyst, we'll let you know tomorrow". On asking 3 times on the quality of the remaining 2 blastocyst's (I said we would rather know and be prepared than have false hope - that is my way of coping, so please go easy on me girls if you disagree ) in the apt in his office 5 mins before transfer, in the transfer room, at transfer and then finally in his office after transfer - he then said the weren't quite where they would normally like them to be, they weren't expanding yet.... whatever that means (In Australia - I don't think from memory there were many times they graded or told us much about them, other than they were excellent, or not so good.

    I'm sorry if I am sounding selfish and negative - of course there is a part of me that is hoping it will work - and it could do. I guess I'm just so taken aback at what's happened today. As I said to DH, I guess at least one positive is, that if there had been "excellent" embryos put in today, my crash (IF it comes) would have been even worse, at least this way, I'm not running around thinking it's all plain sailing and thinking it's going to work and getting all excited early.... I'm semi prepared.
    Last edited by sootymay; 17-11-2013 at 01:39.

  3. #853
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    Ohhhhh Sooty Hun. How stressful for you. I know I have written it before, but we had 14 eggs collected 8 fertilised and by day 5 only 3 remained, 2 transferred and the other discarded. As you know we now have our beautiful little man. I know it's so hard, I was hysterical when I was in your position, needing Dormicum (Midazolam) a sedative for the transfer. I couldn't believe that something that looked so good was potentially going to go pear shaped. I hope and trust the fertility gods shine on you and your embies. Much love to you both. Xxx

    Angel - a huge congratulations. Hun you deserve some happiness after your devastating losses. May your angel babies send loads of baby dust your way.

    Blinkey - welcome. The ED route is a huge decision to make. I concur with the previous posts you should take the time to read through the thread. It provided me with invaluable information to give me the courage to go. I have so much gratitude to Jodie for starting the thread and to all the beautiful women who shared their journies. I would not be where I am today without them. Xx

  4. #854
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    Laned - Thank you sooooooooo much for your reassurance and understanding. Its just what I need to hear right now. I am teetering on having a major cry, but am scared to let it bubble up and over, as I too will lose control and turn hysterical. Shame we can't take sedative for the whole 2 week wait !!??

    [QUOTE=laned;7550074]Ohhhhh Sooty Hun. How stressful for you. I know I have written it before, but we had 14 eggs collected 8 fertilised and by day 5 only 3 remained, 2 transferred and the other discarded. As you know we now have our beautiful little man. I know it's so hard, I was hysterical when I was in your position, needing Dormicum (Midazolam) a sedative for the transfer. I couldn't believe that something that looked so good was potentially going to go pear shaped. I hope and trust the fertility gods shine on you and your embies. Much love to you both. Xxx

  5. #855
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    Hey Sooty, I have been going back through the three threads and writing down tips etc last night, the one thing that struck me is that the majority of women really havent had any to freeze. I know we expect with younger eggs that we'll get masses of A grade eggs, but it just doesnt seem to work that way. Take heart in that the majority of women do get pregnant first time with this route, why can't that be you too? Be kindto yourself in the Tww, this is NOT the same as all your other cycles and experiences. This one is unique and very different
    Em x

    PS you may need to give me this pep talk in a few months time

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    sootymay  (19-11-2013)

  7. #856
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    Sooty my darling friend... please please please don't let yourself get down. I truly understand how you are feeling right now. You know I have walked in your shoes. I had two to transfer and none to freeze and am sitting here typing to you 14 weeks pregnant.

    Please be kind to yourself over the next two weeks (I know soooo much easier said than done). Concentrate now on looking after yourself, relaxing and letting those little embies snuggle in (get yourself that pineapple and cut it into fifths and eat one fifth every day blended up - importantly the core of the pineapple.

    Remember I felt like it had not worked, but it had. Miracles happen in South Africa and I'm praying for one for you. xxxxxxx

    Big hugs to you lovely - we are all right behind you. Lots and lots of sticky baby dust to you

    RB
    x

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    sootymay  (19-11-2013)

  9. #857
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    Emski - re the success of previous donors. After you have your shortlist of donors, contact your Dr and his assistant at the CFC and they can tell you how many eggs were retrieved, how many were frozen and pregnancies achieved from the donors IF they have donated at the CFC before.

    Our donor had donated twice before, resulted in twins the first time, then a pregnancy (but one that was not ongoing in her second donation at the CFC). Our donor also had a daughter of her own... produced around 12 eggs each donation - good quality the first time - average quality the second time... but for us... she only produced ONE average quality egg!

    We went through Baby2mom and I was also not impressed with the way I was treated once things went "pear shaped" with our cycle. It was like Jenny dusted her hand of us once this happened. Luckily for us, we were in the hands of Dr LR and his outstanding team who definitely saved our cycle from being a disaster. Baby2mom have not even emailed me since to see if I feel pregnant from the frozen eggs. I was less than impressed with their service.

  10. #858
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    Hi Sooty

    Honey you are definitely not selfish, we just want the best from this journey and having some to freeze is the ideal. On transfer day mine hadn't made blast yet, the next day (day 6) I was told that I had none to freeze of course I freaked out, couldn't understand how it is could go "so bad" overnight and wrote a similar post to yours about how selfish I was feeling, the next morning I had them check again and there were two good quality embies which had developed late on day 6. You never know what will happen, while mine weren't at the perfect stage on transfer day I am now almost twenty weeks and have two in the freezer. Will be thinking of you and sending lots of good thoughts your way.
    Love Anait

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    sootymay  (19-11-2013)

  12. #859
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    emski - you don't have to make your mind up regarding donating any eggs to the frozen egg bank until you arrive in SA. There is a box on the forms that will be sent to you, but you can wait until the final consultation prior to your donors egg retrieval before making the decision.

    I am going to tell you that I very nearly did not want to do this, as I selfishly thought that the "good eggs" could go into the freezer for somebody else to fall pregnant from…. well, if I didn't tick that box, I DEFINITELY would not be pregnant now.

    It's a very personal decision and I can completely understand why some people might now want to do it, but it's your "plan b" should something go wrong with your donors cycle - so take the time to think very long and hard about it.

    We were given 5 different frozen donor profiles to choose from when our original donor only produced one average quality egg. All of them would have been fine for us - and you are also given the history on how that particular donors eggs performed in any prior donations.

    RB
    x

  13. #860
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    DONOR SEARCHING
    mayaus (Cape Town - ET ?)
    francesthecat (Cape Town - ET ?)

    Helenmac (Cape Town - ET ? Nov/Dec)

    Crystal4431 (Zlin - ET 28 Jan)
    January (Cape Town - ET ? Mar)
    Sahndi (Cape Town - ET ?)
    Emski72 (Cape Town - ET ?)
    Blinky76 (Cape Town - ET ?)

    DONOR SELECTED
    Angelmama74 (Cape Town - ET ? April)
    Lily72 (Cape Town - ET ? May)
    DJShears (Cape Town - ET ?)

    DONOR CONTRACT (signed by both parties)
    thembs (Cape Town - ET ? Jan)
    PeaSoup (Cape Town - ET ? Dec)
    Abundance1 (Cape Town - FET ?)

    COMMENCED MEDICATIONS
    Net3811 (Barbados - ET 12 Dec)

    IN CAPE TOWN FOR PROCEDURES


    2WW - WAITING FOR BFP
    BB4Me (Cape Town - FET 2x5D)
    Makeba (Cape Town - FET 2x5D)
    JodiW (Cape Town - FET 2x5D)
    Sootymay (Cape Town - ET 2x5D)

    BFP
    Helonweels (2x5D - singleton)
    Pixel (2x4D - singleton)

    Rainbowchaser (2x3D frozen- singleton) EDD 19/5/14
    Wishmeluck (1x5D)
    Sunny15 (2x5D - singleton) - EDD 16/4/14
    Anait (2x5D - singleton)
    Jennilee67 (2x5D - singleton)
    BJ04 (1x5D - singleton) - EDD 26/3/14
    AllieOop (2x5D - singleton)
    Araline (2x5D)
    TwoWhites (2x5D - singleton)

    GRADUATES
    Sardy (girl)
    Nicole72 (twin girls)

    Missleo (boy & girl - 28/9/13)
    SVD (twin boys - 6/9/13)
    Laned (boy - 24/4/13)
    JodiW (boy)
    Smika (girl)
    Chascabear
    Sahndi (boy)
    Theresa68 (girl)
    WilsonJoy (twin boys)
    Jed (boy & girl)
    SummerShine (boy)
    Sally08 (twins)

    2013 STATS

    BFP = 18 (16 fresh & 2 frozen/4 sets of twins)
    BFN = 10 (9 fresh & 1 frozen)
    Pregnancy Loss = 1
    Bio-chemical = 2
    Unkown Results = 7
    Last edited by January; 18-11-2013 at 18:10.


 

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