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  1. #381
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    Rainbow - thanks for the update... I'm pretty sure I must have NK Cells, as my previous FS here used the "Colarado" treatment (now named the "Bondi
    treatment (from the FS in Bondi singing it's praises) - I'm still waiting on my darling FS here to get back to me with endometrial biopsy results from nearly 3 weeks ago, the Receptionist said he is waiting on another specialist that specialises in NK Cells and is viewing the report. Dr Heylen has said to take the clexane & prednisolone, he's waiting on the results to advise on whether he thinks the intralipid infusion is advisable.

    WOW, everything sounds just magical. I looked at the Cape Heritage a few days ago, though based on staying the entire time with them during our November stay (which is peak period from October) they were booked. I'll have another look over the w/end when I have more time, we may be able to get either side or a shorter length. Gosh, how accommodating of them, making you a smoothie every day - bless them.

    I can imagine it would be hard not to want to spend up whilst there on treasures to bring home! Glad your daughter is having a lovely time, she'll remember it for ever, its a good age to travel. We took DH's 3 children overseas when they were only 6, 8, 9 - and it's really only the older one that remembers the others don't which surprised me.

    That's is extremely disappointing with the agency - I'm sorry to hear that, I don't really know what you could do. I had a lot of correspondence with Jenny, they have lovely donors and a good selection and she was quite good in replying quickly + she has that lovely interview on "Good Morning Africa" that you can view on her website, she seems so nice..... but for some reason something made me investigate a bit more, (I think it was a comment on this site about one of the agencies & also about some giving refunds) so I asked her about their refund policy "if a donor didn't pass the initial screening and physiological tests" and there isn't one. Most agencies (bar one other that I asked, but I can't remember which one now) will refund you the entire amount less an administration fee (which is fair) if your donor doesn't pass and let you move onto another agency if you need to. (ababysa and giftovlife were 2 that will do both options - bless them, and I really felt from all the emails I sent them, that their hearts were in the right place) others will hold that amount in credit and you have to go through them again to find another donor.

    I wasn't comfortable with that scenario either, in case we couldn't find another donor we liked with that agency, I didn't want to be locked into staying with them. That was difficult at the time, as I did continue to view donors through those agencies, just in case I found "the one" and then I would have had to have rolled with it as the right donor would have taken precedent. I even went as far as emailing a couple of clinics direct to see if they used baby2mom as well. A very good clinic in JBurg (that CFC works with) said they don't. I wanted to know why and knew I was putting them in a position, but got a very professional diplomatic response saying "that management made a decision not to work with this agency, they only work with agencies that have their donors & recipients best interests at heart".

    I hope I don't get a backlash from anyone for sharing this...... as
    1. As I understand ladies are going through treatment or could be using this agency already and then could potentially feel uneasy (its difficult enough as it is for us all, without having more doubt).
    2. I guess (though I don't really know?) that we shouldn't be naming organisations on here?........ however I do feel strongly about been able to have freedom of speech - or how else would we learn so much about the clinics, doctors / agencies, accommodation etc etc if we didn't share it here?

    Having said all that, as I said for me finding the "right" donor would have taken precedent, but I did tend to veer away from those agencies and tired not to look on their websites if I could help it (so I didn't tempt myself!!). Also, I guess if CFC use them (they are on their list) that they are happy with the donors they provide and that's the main thing isn't it.

    Enjoy your last few days - sounds like you really have had the trip of a lifetime.

    Pixel - how are you going? Havent heard from you for a few days, hope its all going ok for you. Hopefully you are having such a lovely time you haven't even thought about jumping back on here Thinking of you all the time and have everything crossed for you that you don't have to go through the wringer with decisions like Rainbow just did!

    Hi to everyone else
    Last edited by sootymay; 30-08-2013 at 06:31.

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    angelmama74  (30-08-2013),laned  (31-08-2013)

  3. #382
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    Sooty - the intralipid infusion would probably fine for you. My FS in Australia said there is no proof to support it works and would be a waste of money, but I told him I really wanted to try everything on this cycle as we invested so much into it. He said he understood and agreed and also prescribed me prednisone (in addition to my clexane)

    Everything was fine with the agency til this point. It didnt matter anyway as we got more eggs to work with than we ever would with our original donor. I will let it sit with me for a while before I go back to her to say how shocked/unhappy I was that she did not take the time to follow up on how I went following the disastrous cycle with our donor. In no way do I blame her, but it still feels like she took the money and ran.

    i did see all the interviews. I was impressed until now - but this is the "business end" of the whole cycle - so she should have pulled her finger out to show a little care/compassion for me as she constantly did for our donor. Anybody would think she paid me!!!

    i would think/hope that this would be the last time our donor could donate given how badly it all went?

    pixel - how is everything going with you in balmy Thailand. I was thinking of you today when I was at the top of table mountain freezing my butt off. They are actually expecting snow up there tonight it is so cold here right now.

    night night from Cape Town xx

  4. #383
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    Sooty, name and shame I say, I don't think in this instance and particularly the way you have written your comment that anyone woud take offence, you are not being derogatory, simply making people aware so they can make an informed decision, people will still use the agency especially if they had the right donor. I guess we have to realise its a fact of life, some in the fertility industry are in it for the money and some are in it for the love. I do worry when people won't name and shame because a part of me feels that person isn't being honest and may have an ulterior motive, if you are being honest and diplomatic in your honesty then their should be no repercussions to what you have said both on here or legally.

    Re Flying I had the same thoughts in my first pregnancy until my husband said, flight attendants fly til they are ready to give birth or too big to get down the aisle. He of course was right.

    Rainbow I think the agency have made it clear that they won't be refunding anything or entering into further discussion, which is their bad! They are the ones who will suffer with that attitude. Did you let CFC know? i know they can't do anything but with enough complaints they may take the agency of their recommended list. Just focus on you, it sounds like things are really looking up for you, I hope all of these great experiences are the start of things to come.

  5. #384
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    Jodi - I am going to let the CFC know as I have to call then today to see if we had anything to freeze. I didn't really want/expect any financial reimbursement, just a little more care from Baby2mom on my behalf. I want to do whatever I can to make sure that donor is no allowed to donate again - to prevent any woman from going through what I went through.

    The best thing to come out of this is tht everybody in here should be able to relax and know that we are in excellent care at the CFC. If it weren't for Dr Le Roux, evyerthing would have been completely ruined for me. Still no guarantees of pregnancy I know - but he and his staff impressed me so much and for that I will be forever grateful. If I have to make a return trip to South Africa, I would do it in a heartbeat by myself.

    Sooty - I don't think your comments would have offended anybody. Looks like you did quite a bit of research and I wish that I had done the same before selecting an agency. Ironically, the agency we ended up with the Frozen Egg Donor from was Gift of Life and they were the first agency I started dealing with.

    Jenny was lovely - but for me, for the most important part of the whole process lacked any care or empathy for what I was going through. Her only care seemed to be for the donor.

    anyway, I'm moving on!!! Off to Robben Island today. Absolutely dreading my last full day in Cape Town, it really has been magical and I have loved every minute of being here. For those of you about to embark on the journey - be excited, because its sensational!!!!


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  7. #385
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    Hi Jodi & Rainbow - thanks for reassuring me, that it's safe here to speak our mind

    I agree with everything you are both saying - its good to be honest and let others know, so they can make their own decisions & do the research should they feel it necessary.

    Rainbow - it's good that you're going to tell CFC, I didn't even think of that at this stage, though I think I probably would have if I was in that position. It's so tricky when you're in a cycle, to turn around and raise concerns... as you don't really want to cause yourself anymore stress (aren't we all meant to be staying "calm and relaxed".... blimey... drives me crazy sometimes... women get pregnant all the time... full of stress & less than ideal circumstances).... so sometimes it's easier to let it go... Maybe wait until you're past the 3 month mark... I reckon this has worked for you !!!!!!! ... feeling it in my bones ! That's nice to hear it was a giftovlife donor - Mandy & Tami are SUPER sweet, I've never met anyone like them, they were just soooooo compassionate when I was looking for a donor. Anyways, I say put it behind you for now, and deal with it LATER !!

    Jodi - thanks for the comment on flying.... I know.... they do... but you know what we are like... so paranoid about it all. I'd love to go home for xmas... but golly I'm been super stupid in my head about the probably "non existence" risk!... I mean for ... sakes, its not like the cabin isn't pressurised or anything !!

    Rainbow - enjoy your last few days. Too funny about top of Table Mountain been cold and freezing and snow due and Pixel in gorgeous summer ! At least Sunday is the 1st day of Spring here.. something nice for you to come home to

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  9. #386
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    Hi Girls

    Rainbow - Wow after such a roller coaster ride, I am soooo pleased to read of those beautiful embies. May they snuggle in nicely to their mumma. I hope you can now relax and be in a good mind space. I know it would be so hard but try not to give Jenny a second thought now and think of those beautiful embies. Xx

    Jodie - Thanks for your positive post. My Endo is not overly enthusiastic about a future pregnancy. Following the classical incision on day 1 post op she said that I should enjoy my boy and really consider whether number two would be wise. I also had quite a few midwives say the very same thing. My Ob is more optimistic. Notwithstanding I could only have a single emby transfer due to the high risk of uterine rupture. So now the diagnosis of Graves' disease just seems like another nail in the fertility coffin. My Endo did not encourage a future pregnancy, however I did say I would like number two. Again she said that I need to be fit and well for my little boy and that I need to be around to watch him grow. Anyhow, as stated I am extremely fortunate to have my little man.

    Sooty - I agree with Jodie 100%. Even though I was blessed with a BFP and a gorgeous little boy. I openly posted about my experience and noted my concern with the Joburg clinic. The beauty and purpose of this forum is to share our experiences. This assists others in their decision making process. Without this forum sharing, I believe I would have felt far more vulnerable.

    As for my experience, I went through Baby2mom. I found Jenny very supportive and responsive leading up to the transfer, however, following the donors EPU I didn't hear boo until I received a message at 19W.

    I too had concerns over my donor, with only two embies to transfer and no frosties at day 5. We had 14 eggs fertilise and my DH has no issues with his sperm. The clinic were also a bit upset that Jenny had negotiated a further 1000 rand payment to the donor for fuel.

    I also discussed the cycle with Dr W and he noted that the agency was not one of CFCs preferred agencies.

    As for refund in the event of an unsuccessful cycle, I too asked Jenny about this and was advised a refund would not occur, but that she would be willing to discount a further cycle if necessary. Always worth trying to negotiate.
    Last edited by laned; 31-08-2013 at 01:00.

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  11. #387
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    Laned - i know very little about Graves Disease, but am so sorry to hear that they are not recommending another one for you. i pray this changes for you and you get your wish of a second little one if that is what your heart desires.

    OMG Jenny had negotiated a 1,000 rand payment from us for fuel also! I had no idea that this was not the done thing. Thank you for all that info, I had no idea you had used baby2mom also. Don't get me wrong, Jenny was lovely. It was just a shame that it ended in such a sour way, it just didnt need to be like that - it was just a simple point of communication to show she cared a bit about how I faired and I would have been sweet.

    i called the clinic today and there was nothing to freeze. The original donor egg crashed and burned and the embryos from the first frozen batch didnt make it (but we weren't really expecting them to and the batch which we had our two good embies transferred from I had seen the pics of the other embryos and did not expect any of them would survive to freeze either.

    Sooty - thanks for your positive comments re the two I have on board. I'm riding a wave of emotions that seem to be changeable minute by minute at this stage. One minute I feel really positive, and then really negative. I didn't tell you guys but the video screen at embryo transfer was broken... So my silly mind starts playing games and asking me if they even did transfer those embryos... Or if the good ones were indeed mine?!

    I'm having quite a bit of cramping, not severe but just constant twinges once the start. My husband says I had all this with my last pregnancy at the same stage - but I've never had gestone before, just the progesterone pesseries so not sure how much might be that nasty little drug? I've had pretty bad heartburn today and yesterday but also think it is probably way to early for me to be symptom spotting.

    did anybody get symptoms this early and ended up being pregnant?

    Spent today out at Robben Island... Totally amazed by what this country has been through. I had very little detailed knowledge of it prior to this visit. I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it - could have done without the rolling boat ride out there though! Felt quite queasy and I have never suffered from sea sickness.

    just completed the online check in for our flights and feeling quite teary. We have had the time of our lives over the past two weeks - I pray that we get to go home with not only the memories of THE best holiday we have ever had, but also with a bub (or two) to link us to this beautiful country forever.

    Over and out from Cape Town from me Bubhubbers... It's been grand!


  12. #388
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    Laned - I'm sorry to hear that, blimey, as if you haven't been through enough with trying to have 1.... why is it that some people get all the obstacles thrown in their way!! My gorgeous hair dresser whos 38 - where I have my hair straightened was having probs falling pregnant, I haven't seen her for 8 months, she was just starting out IVF last time I saw her, and wa la - 16 weeks pregnant with 6 frozen! She's very lucky, and I'm so happy for her, but I really think she just can't comprehend what it could have been like, if she'd had to try for years. I've got another friend the same... she says she knows, but how can she. Soooo, why do you have this continuing rocky road - not fair! If you're anything like me, its hard to shut the door if that's what you really want, #2. I'm sure you'll find a way, if you decide you are going to proceed.

    OMG - fancy Baby2mom chagrining another 1,000 Rand at a later date.... cheeky so and so. I'm not even going to get started. If my agency did that, I think I'd be saying "sorry, flat out no, it wasn't in the initial payment summary".... BUT then I would be softened by the thought that the donor may really need it. What a cheeky.... ooooh I'd love to use another word. I tried to negotiate with Jenny on a discount, but she didn't budge one iota... or should I say Rand - ha ha.

    Rainbow - I know it's hard, you'll have to try and relax now.... I guess what will be will be.... Must be a different experience filled with more hope carrying embryos from a young donor that we naturally expect to work, thinking about that 60-70% success rate (or thereabouts).... that's the exciting part isn't it.... but I guess trying to keep that excitement in check is the other thing....

    I'm sure they've put the right embryos back in! I think like that too sometimes - once at Melb IVF I had 2 doctors doing the transfer, one was quite young, the other possibly supervising, it was hard to tell. I had signed a form prior - and of course didn't read all the fine print (usually I do!) & later I questioned if the young doctor that did it, was experienced enough. Unfortunately, I'm not one for signing in agreement for trainees - not when we are spending thousands of dollars in treatment. As you said CFC have been amazing, they've done everything they could to give you a chance, & with their professional paperwork they hand out from the beginning, I'm sure behind the scenes all the embryos are labelled, checked off on several times etc.

    Enjoy your flight home, back to reality - that's always hard when you've had a fabulous holiday. It's with the universe now... now we wait with everything crossed for you !

  13. #389
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    Default Hi from koh Samui

    Hi all,

    its our last day at Samui and the time has flown by. Thanks rainbow for thinking of me in hot Thailand. The weather has been great and its very quiet here ATM so it seems late August is a good time for travel here.

    I'm so happy rainbow that you have two safely on board and have had such a wonderful time in SA other than the donor stress which I know is frustrating as it is so challenging to remain calm and relaxed under those circumstances which we are so desperate to be, well done you did it.

    Thanks Jennilee for your post it has made me feel a lot better as it was definitely not what I would normally have as a period but when full flow wasn't happening I had to march forward with the meds, I am doing an estraderm patch every second day and Estrofem tablets inserted vaginally! (Have had to time my swimming around this).

    They have also not used any ovulation suppressants except of course the estrogen (which was the same with my last donor cycle with Medfem joburg) and I'm looking forward to my scan on the 2nd to see that there are no follicles and the lining is on its way.

    We got an email with our donors progress and on day 6 we have 10 on the left and 10 on the right from 7-13mm. So it is already a better chance than my first donor experience who only had 5 follicles in total. I'm not counting my chickens but happy to have hope. They started her on 75 cerotide and increased the dose on day 4 to 112.5 cerotide. Her lining was 6mm.

    hope your little boy is feeling better Jodi and your plans for CT a removing forward.

    not long sooty

    sorry to hear your news Laned

    not meaning to rub it in (pardon the pun) but I'm going to go get a Thai/oil massage for 2 hours for $15 dollars

    Thanks for everyone who has been thinking of me and wishing me well it is nice to have your support.

    love pixel

  14. #390
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    That's great news Pixel - sounds all under control - and so many follicles - phew!!!

    Oh I am jealous of a massage for 2 hours/$15 - that would be amazing!

    Keeping our fingers & toes crossed for you.

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