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  1. #151
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    I'm not saying you can't have a freebirth, but I still think its incredibly irresponsible.
    Yet a perfectly healthy woman who is pregnant with a perfectly healthy baby is allowed make the choice to give birth via major abdominal surgery when it would be far safer for both her and her child to give birth vaginally? Is that not also irresponsible? Or....is it not because she carries none of the responsibility? Is giving up this responsibility what makes her responsible?

    How can it be irresponsible when I take on all responsibility when doing so?

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  3. #152
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anjalee View Post
    This is a genuine question because I honestly want to learn more. Does it worry you about serious medical complications? I was in a medical emergency last year (baby related) and I literally had 5 minutes to get to surgery, and even then I needed blood transfusions because I'd already lost a crazy amount of blood. I would be scared that being home, with no medical professional and not being within seconds of help.

    Like I said, I mean absolutely no offense, I'm really wanting to understand.
    Of course I worried about complications just like I worry about day to day things.

  4. #153
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    I am not saying this is always the case, but many 'healthy women with healthy babies' choose elective c/s for a variety of reasons besides the famous 'too posh to push.' There can be a history of sexual abuse where the idea of going through birth is incredibly traumatic for some women. Or, like me (I haven't decided but am considering a c/s) traumatized from the birth of their baby that had already died.

    I am a doula so support many choices in birth and completely understand the desire and need for home births. But I have a hard time understanding freebirth. Why would you not want at least a qualified midwife present for support and the reassurance that should something happen you have somebody qualified to assess the situation or provide valuable life-saving support?

    Even as a doula, I was incredibly naive to all that can go wrong until I lost my baby. Once you loose a child a whole new world of all the possibilities opens up to you. I used to be so laid back about it all, birth is a natural and safe process, why be worried? Now, I thank god we have the drs and hospitals we have.

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  6. #154
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    Quote Originally Posted by headoverfeet View Post
    Of course I worried about complications just like I worry about day to day things.
    How lucky you are to be able to have this attitude.

  7. #155
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    Quote Originally Posted by HollyGolightly81 View Post
    I am not saying this is always the case, but many 'healthy women with healthy babies' choose elective c/s for a variety of reasons besides the famous 'too posh to push.' There can be a history of sexual abuse where the idea of going through birth is incredibly traumatic for some women. Or, like me (I haven't decided but am considering a c/s) traumatized from the birth of their baby that had already died.

    I am a doula so support many choices in birth and completely understand the desire and need for home births. But I have a hard time understanding freebirth. Why would you not want at least a qualified midwife present for support and the reassurance that should something happen you have somebody qualified to assess the situation or provide valuable life-saving support?

    Even as a doula, I was incredibly naive to all that can go wrong until I lost my baby. Once you loose a child a whole new world of all the possibilities opens up to you. I used to be so laid back about it all, birth is a natural and safe process, why be worried? Now, I thank god we have the drs and hospitals we have.
    By the same token, women who chose to home birth or free birth may be doing so because of a previous trauma they've suffered at a hospital, perhaps the idea of giving birth in a hospital is incredibly traumatic?
    I have a hard time understanding free birth too, I admit. However, I guess the point is, I don't have to understand it. If I don't want to have one, I don't have to. It's not for me to say how others choose to birth, be is a free birth or a non medical c sect or whatever. Each birth choice carries a risk, and we all make our own risk assessments.

    I'm sorry your little one was born sleeping
    Last edited by Atropos; 16-07-2013 at 16:16.

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  9. #156
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Quote Originally Posted by HollyGolightly81 View Post
    I am not saying this is always the case, but many 'healthy women with healthy babies' choose elective c/s for a variety of reasons besides the famous 'too posh to push.' There can be a history of sexual abuse where the idea of going through birth is incredibly traumatic for some women. Or, like me (I haven't decided but am considering a c/s) traumatized from the birth of their baby that had already died.

    I am a doula so support many choices in birth and completely understand the desire and need for home births. But I have a hard time understanding freebirth. Why would you not want at least a qualified midwife present for support and the reassurance that should something happen you have somebody qualified to assess the situation or provide valuable life-saving support?

    Even as a doula, I was incredibly naive to all that can go wrong until I lost my baby. Once you loose a child a whole new world of all the possibilities opens up to you. I used to be so laid back about it all, birth is a natural and safe process, why be worried? Now, I thank god we have the drs and hospitals we have.
    I know many reasons why a woman may choose an elective c/s. I have no qualms with women choosing them at all. Why does this understanding not extend to those that FB? I went to hospital for my first birth as a survivor of sexual abuse, no one seemed to give 2 hoots about it and my wishes were completely disregarded because a group of people wanted to watch a natural birth. I left the hospital traumatised and completely detached from my son, I don't remember the first 6 months of his life- only that I was suicidal and wanted to drive my car into a tree several times a week.

    Why would you not want at least a qualified midwife present for support and the reassurance that should something happen you have somebody qualified to assess the situation or provide valuable life-saving support?
    For the same reason I would not hire someone to watch me do a poop or have sex. Because the act of watching, expecting performance can hinder the birth hormones which I am sure as a doula you understand. As bizarre as it sounds, for me the idea of having someone watch me give birth is like having someone watch me have sex or poop- something I can do in front of hubby but never something I could do in front of anyone else. I am sure you have heard about the sphincter law?

    That may sound selfish but IMO it's about as selfish as someone choosing to have an elective c/s for non-medical reasons.

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  11. #157
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Quote Originally Posted by HollyGolightly81 View Post
    How lucky you are to be able to have this attitude.
    I beg your pardon? I realise you have lost a child I have nothing but sympathy for you but don't for one minute assume I have not experienced grief and loss and witnessed a loved one suffering.

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    Quote Originally Posted by headoverfeet View Post
    I beg your pardon? I realise you have lost a child I have nothing but sympathy for you but don't for one minute assume I have not experienced grief and loss and witnessed a loved one suffering.
    Please don't assume my intentions with my comment and assume I was being malicious. I genuinely feel somebody with the attitude of believing everything will be alright is lucky.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Atropos View Post
    By the same token, women who chose to home birth or free birth may be doing so because of a previous trauma they've suffered at a hospital, perhaps the idea of giving birth in a hospital is incredibly traumatic?
    I have a hard time understanding free birth too, I admit. However, I guess the point is, I don't have to understand it. If I don't want to have one, I don't have to. It's not for me to say how others choose to birth, be is a free birth or a non medical c sect or whatever. Each birth choice carries a risk, and we all make our own risk assessments.

    I'm sorry your little one was born sleeping
    I can understand that. But again have a hard time understanding why one wouldn't choose to try and find a midwife they are comfortable with, have developed a relationship with, to attend for support and medical intervention if necessary.

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    Quote Originally Posted by HollyGolightly81 View Post
    I can understand that. But again have a hard time understanding why one wouldn't choose to try and find a midwife they are comfortable with, have developed a relationship with, to attend for support and medical intervention if necessary.
    This is what I struggle with too. I'd just be so scared that something could go wrong I'd need to have someone there to intereve if necessary.
    I know from my own experience that giving birth can be a life or death situation and there can only be minutes to act, so I just feel there needs to be a medical professional there to step in if needed.

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