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  1. #11
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    DS1 is still in daycare 2 days a week while I'm on mat leave with DS2. I do sometimes feel guilty when people ask, like it's somehow wrong. But I do it because:-
    - I'm a single parent now, so gives me a break
    - he loves it, so we treat it like playgroup
    - keeps his spot at the centre, don't have to go back on the 2yr waiting list
    - makes getting a spot for DS2 much easier
    - I get to spend some 1:1 time with DS2
    - days for all docs appts, chores etc

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    SugarSkull  (11-07-2013)

  3. #12
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    1-3 days a week I don't judge - we all need a break. 4-5 days I do get a bit judgy.

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  5. #13
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    There was a similar thread a few years back and I was initially anti stay at home parents from using childcare. I thought that meant the parents were shirking their 'job' and taking valuable spots away from working parents.

    After hearing everyone's stories I now have a different view. I think it's ok for a SAHP to send their kid to daycare a couple of days a week. Unless there were extenuating circumstances, I would probably still judge if the kids were sent 5 days per week though.

    There are plenty of reasons why it would be fair/good for a SAHP to send their kid to daycare:

    1) helps with socialization and development. Infact some doctors recommended daycare for kids as a means to help with some issues. Daycare can be preferred to playgroup as the benefits are more concentrated ... And the parents get a break too.

    2) helps with the parents mental health. Some parents are suffering various things and need a bit of a reprieve. This can be for parents with diagnosed conditions. It can also be for parents without diagnosis who are looking for a tiny break for preventative measures (eg a single parent or FIFO mum who rarely get a rest even on weekends).

    3) Maintaining a spot in daycare for an older child, while a parent is on mat leave can be necessary. It can 1-2 years to get a daycare spot where I live. You need to keep older kids in daycare at least a few days as to ensure there is a spot for them when you go back to work.

    OP: as for people giving you a hard time. Tell them you have thought about your child's needs carefully and have a plan, and that limited daycare fits into this plan. It gives your child stimulation and socialization. You can do errands while your kid is in care meaning you can spend more quality time with them when when they are at home. Thank people for their concern but tell them you are 100% confident your plan is in the best interests of your child. Then refuse to engage further on the subject: by giving oxygen to the critics you are keeping the fire going.

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  7. #14
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    Unfortunately people judge no matter what you do. My DS2 who turns 3 next week has never been to daycare ans I am constantly told that I should send him as he needs to go - to which is say bull poop.

    If your happy with him going and he is happy, thats fantastic, try not to let other busy bodies make you feel bad for your decision, as hard as it is

    Sent from my GT-I9305T using The Bub Hub mobile app

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  9. #15
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    I am a judgey mcjudge.....

    I have no problem with kids of STAP's (mum/dad/both), going to day care 1-2 days per week.

    But if I see them there more & I see the parents drop them off but dressed really sloppy etc I judge...

    I hate seeing people sloppy & not working. I know they could be sick or a million other reasons but it bothers me...

    So basically my judgey view is: dressed sloppy/scrubber 1-2 days per wk
    Cleanly/neatly dressed, obviously care for your appearance - I don't judge as harshly...

    So I know it's not right to judge but I do

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  11. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Opaque View Post
    I am a judgey mcjudge.....

    I have no problem with kids of STAP's (mum/dad/both), going to day care 1-2 days per week.

    But if I see them there more & I see the parents drop them off but dressed really sloppy etc I judge...

    I hate seeing people sloppy & not working. I know they could be sick or a million other reasons but it bothers me...

    So basically my judgey view is: dressed sloppy/scrubber 1-2 days per wk
    Cleanly/neatly dressed, obviously care for your appearance - I don't judge as harshly...

    So I know it's not right to judge but I do
    Yeah if I saw a parent dressed sloppy who was regularly dropping the kid off....yes I would also raise an eyebrow, but for one offs I give the benefit of the doubt as it's impossible to know the situation.

    Like occasionally I have a day off for whatever reason and I might still take DD in for a shorter day. I never go out of the house dressed sloppy, but on those days I'm dressed casual and clearly not going to the office. I don't care what people think on those days.

  12. #17
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    I work at a child care centre as the kindergarten teacher and I think it's a great idea for children to be in a few times a week even if they have a stay at home mum. (Also gives you the chance to do whatever chores and to reenergise). It can be excellent for their development! It is a little sad though when a child with a stay at home mum has them in 5days a week from 6 to 6. It gets a bit much for young children to be away from mum for such long hours. I understand some working parents can't get around those hours though.

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  14. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by beccaboobang View Post
    I work at a child care centre as the kindergarten teacher and I think it's a great idea for children to be in a few times a week even if they have a stay at home mum. (Also gives you the chance to do whatever chores and to reenergise). It can be excellent for their development! It is a little sad though when a child with a stay at home mum has them in 5days a week from 6 to 6. It gets a bit much for young children to be away from mum for such long hours. I understand some working parents can't get around those hours though.
    Do people really seriously do that (SAHP putting kids in from 6-6 five days)??? Omg!!

    DD is in 5 days 8-6, no way would I do that if I wasn't working 9-5:30 each day! Yes I absolutely judge parents who do that. That's just WRONG. Wrong wrong wrong.

  15. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hollywood View Post
    Do people really seriously do that (SAHP putting kids in from 6-6 five days)??? Omg!!

    DD is in 5 days 8-6, no way would I do that if I wasn't working 9-5:30 each day! Yes I absolutely judge parents who do that. That's just WRONG. Wrong wrong wrong.
    Yea it is pretty sad. It's actually quite common which is even sadder! I try not to judge but can't help thinking, is the parent really thinking about what is best for their child? If they are up to date with their fees though then there isn't much we can do except express how the child is after a certain time in the afternoon (child has been upset and emotional since 5pm blah blah I think they would enjoy their child care experience more if they got picked up when they are still happy at 4.30).

  16. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hollywood View Post
    Do people really seriously do that (SAHP putting kids in from 6-6 five days)??? Omg!!

    DD is in 5 days 8-6, no way would I do that if I wasn't working 9-5:30 each day! Yes I absolutely judge parents who do that. That's just WRONG. Wrong wrong wrong.
    Happened at my old centre, parent not working, living in the same street and kids waiting at the door as I opened and there when I closed 4-5 days a week. I found it really sad.


 

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