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  1. #121
    headoverfeet's Avatar
    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Quote Originally Posted by Night Owl View Post
    I haven't read through everyone's responses but l have no issues with SAHM using daycare a few times a week. Everyone needs a break.

    If they were using it 5 days a week I would be wondering why they would need it so often. It could be that they are not handling being a parent, they could be ill or looking after someone who is sick, or they didnt want look after their child so they can go shopping and socialise.

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    I wonder why parents who use it 5 days a week work full time, maybe they want to buy a second home or go on a holiday, maybe they really don't like their children or can't handle them and use full time work to avoid looking after them, maybe they just have to work to pay the bills, maybe they work so they feel like they are using their brains or to interact/socialise or maybe sit on bubhub and facebook. Useful train of thought isn't it

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    Quote Originally Posted by Meg2 View Post
    Yes, I understood the point you were making. My point is that even if the family unit doesn't need the money from the woman's wage, she still *needs* to work if she is to maintain financial independance. So I don't think 'need' is at all a grey area in this case.
    Why can't a woman be financially independent and not work? If she chooses not to work then that doesn't necessarily mean she is reliant on her husband's income.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Girl X View Post
    Why can't a woman be financially independent and not work? If she chooses not to work then that doesn't necessarily mean she is reliant on her husband's income.
    I am confused. I think i am reading this wrong. How can you be financially independant and not work? Unless you won the lottery?

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    Quote Originally Posted by headoverfeet View Post
    I wonder why parents who use it 5 days a week work full time, maybe they want to buy a second home or go on a holiday, maybe they really don't like their children or can't handle them and use full time work to avoid looking after them, maybe they just have to work to pay the bills, maybe they work so they feel like they are using their brains or to interact/socialise or maybe sit on bubhub and facebook. Useful train of thought isn't it

    Yes l was putting my judgy pants on when l made those comments no denying that.
    I am a SAHM currently and have my kids at home with me...people that work fulltime and have their kids in daycare is fine. They are contributing to the family in some way....but if a SAHM is healthy and has no other reason which would prevent her from looking after her kids but has them in daycare full time why be a stay at home mum at all. How are they contributing to the family? ...housework? ? A working parent needs go to work and get all that done too

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  6. #125
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    I agree with Delirium's point.

    Some people are saying that SAHPs shouldn't use childcare 5 days a week, as that's not fair on the kids/ why did they choose to have them/ their job is to look after their kids, etc.

    Well, as Delirium said, many working parents choose to work rather than through financial necessity. They do it because they enjoy it, they'd 'go crazy'/ be bored at home with kids, etc.

    So, why is that deemed as a more acceptable thing to do than any other way in which you choose to spend your time (that doesn't involve your kids for 5 days of the week)?

    Each to their own. And being a parent who chooses not to work (because you can afford not to) doesn't mean that you are financially dependent on someone else. You may have had a very successful career, which means you no longer need to work. You may have inherited money, or you may have your own investments/ businesses that run without you there, etc. There are numerous ways in which someone could be financially independent and not have to go to work Monday to Friday.

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    delirium  (12-07-2013),headoverfeet  (12-07-2013),MilkingMaid  (12-07-2013),Witwicky  (12-07-2013)

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    Quote Originally Posted by bpac View Post
    I am confused. I think i am reading this wrong. How can you be financially independant and not work? Unless you won the lottery?
    Passive income (property/shares/etc). My dad is wealthy and doesn't need to work, he does because he gets bored. A job is not the only way to make money.

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    Quote Originally Posted by bpac View Post
    I am confused. I think i am reading this wrong. How can you be financially independant and not work? Unless you won the lottery?
    Just answered this above

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    Quote Originally Posted by bpac View Post
    I am confused. I think i am reading this wrong. How can you be financially independant and not work? Unless you won the lottery?
    Inheritance.

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    Just on the subject of financial dependence of SAHM's. Yes I'm dependent on DH as well as getting FTB etc. But if the marriage ended tomorrow I could support myself. I have an education and several years on the job behind me. I'm studying for my 2nd degree. Just bc I'm financially dependent on DH right now, doesn't mean I couldn't earn an income without him? I think that's a logic fail there.

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    Quote Originally Posted by meatpopsicle View Post
    DD1 (almost 2.5) is in daycare 4 days a week while I'm home on mat leave with DD2 (6 months).

    We didn't want her to lose her place - childcare is really hard to come by where I live. DD2 will start at the same centre in January when she's 1, so having a sibling there already will be great for her too.

    DD1 absolutely loves it and gets so much out of it. Plus she's a real livewire and would be bored to tears at home with me all day every day.

    And we can afford it. So why not?
    You're looking after DD 2 so l don't think many people would get their knickers in a knot, l'm more likely to be judgemental towards a SAHM who looks after no kids during the day

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