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  1. #21
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    Eko is offline Acrobatic Dominatrix.
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    Quote Originally Posted by heartstringz View Post
    How do I get some confidence & become more aggressive when I'm driving?

    I have a severe driving phobia which I'm trying to overcome & half the reason for this phobia is that regularly I have been bullied, intimiated and/or threatened whilst on the road. I'm SO scared about that happening again that I can barely drive.

    I drive the speed limit cause I don't want to speed & risk my (or someone else's) life, but everyone seems to have a problem with that. Everyone around here seems to want to go 10-20 ks over the limit & because I don't, I get bullied. At the very least I end up with a car up my back bumper bar & at the worst I have someone shouting threats at me as they drive past.

    I've tried 'just ignoring them' but it's not really working for me.

    Therefore I thought that maybe if I drove aggressively, like they do, they would leave me alone. But I'm really not sure how to do that. How do you think I could learn to do that?

    I'm really running out of options, this is my last
    You would be far better off doing a defensive driving course. It teaches you to be more mindful of what's around you and how to avoid the stupidity of others rather than adding to the chaos on the roads by turning into one of those drivers yourself.

  2. #22
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    I drove at the speed limit. If someone gets up the back of me I slow down - they are welcome to go around me

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    I'd suggest doing a defensive driving course. It won't teach you to "drive agressively" (which, isn't needed) but it will give you the skills to feel 110% more confident on the road.

    It's worth getting your speedo checked too as others have suggested. But, definitely don't drive quicker just for other people. You need to make sure you and your family are safe

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    Change lanes so that they can overtake you or pull over if safe to do so.


    Drive in the left lane of a multi lane road.


    If you hit your breaks and they don't react in time all you're going to do is end up with their car in your backseat.


    Agree with everyone else about a defensive driving course.

  6. #25
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    Thanks everyone, will try all those suggestions.

    I think my parents have a GPS, otherwise I'll check the iphone app store & download one myself.

    I have considered a defensive driving course, but my parents always told me that I should have some driving experience before doing one. Not sure if that's right or not. Plus the thought of putting the car into a skid etc makes me feel physically sick - I don't think I could even do half the stuff they would want me to do at the moment, I'd just freak out.

    I've had my licence for about eight years (still have no clue how I even managed to get it). I could probably count on one hand how many times I've driven by myself since then. I try & drive with DH as often as possible but he is starting to get really frustrated & shout at me which isn't helping.

    I try & ignore the people but it doesn't really work. I get so freaked out that I panic and start making mistakes/not concentrating on what I'm doing etc - that's why I don't drive by myself because I don't think it's safe.

    I always drive in the left lane of a multi lane road. Generally I get tail-gated on single-lane roads. I'm always anxious about how I'm supposed to pull over when they are that close behind me - they might hit me. I'm really really anxious about getting into an accident (even if it's not my fault - ie someone tail-gated me then ran into the back of me etc) because I know I'll never drive again if I do.

    To be honest I'm at the point of giving up on driving completely. I was trying to do it cause it will make it a lot easier when we have kids. I was also hoping to go out & make some friends & do things independantly of DH (public transport around here is just a joke, so it's really hard to go out & do things after work) but I'm beginning to give up on ever being able to do that. I'm just so scared & nothing seems to work & people acting like tools on the road is certainly not helping.
    Last edited by heartstringz; 09-07-2013 at 17:19.

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    I think a defensive driving course would do you the world of good, as others have suggested. It would help you challenge and overcome your fear of driving in the safest space possible. Plus it would improve your skills and help you prove to yourself that you can do it.

    It also sounds like you have rather debilitating anxiety about driving - maybe talking to a psychologist would help? They can give you mental strategies to help.


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    Quote Originally Posted by heartstringz View Post

    I have considered a defensive driving course, but my parents always told me that I should have some driving experience before doing one. Not sure if that's right or not. Plus the thought of putting the car into a skid etc makes me feel physically sick - I don't think I could even do half the stuff they would want me to do at the moment, I'd just freak out.
    It's definitely not for experience drivers, my high school offered a defensive driving course for Year 11/12 students on their Learners.

    Defensive driving isn't about putting the car into skids, its about driving to the road conditions, braking safely (especially on wet roads), controlling your car in difficult conditions like windy roads etc, avoiding hazards, pay attention to your surroundings etc.

    I think you would highly benefit it.

    I would also suggest perhaps taking some professional driving lessons where you can go out with an instructor on the roads that you don't like and find out exactly how to drive on them and handle aggressive drivers etc.

    Also without being rude, if you're saying that you're not confident, aren't concentrating and freaking out then perhaps you shouldn't be driving until you get some more lessons or do the defensive driving course because that's making you just as unsafe as the aggressive drivers on the road. I don't want you running up the back of my car because you're too busy paying attention to the guy behind you, to notice that I've stopped.
    Last edited by wannawannabe; 09-07-2013 at 17:38.

  9. #28
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    Ok thanks, obviously I got told the wrong things about defensive driving courses - I got told that you get taught how to get out of skids etc, which I know would really freak me out. I might be able to do the other stuff wannawannabe said.

    MissMuppet, I do see a psych about it but it's still not really helping that much.

    I've tried professional driving lessons with many different companies but every time I get 'oh, you already have your licence. Why are you even here??' when I first get into the car. Then I either get told 'there's nothing wrong with your driving, I don't see why you are here' during the lesson, or 'wow, you are cautious aren't you!' and no tips to overcome the cautiousness.

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    Quote Originally Posted by heartstringz View Post
    I've tried professional driving lessons with many different companies but every time I get 'oh, you already have your licence. Why are you even here??' when I first get into the car. Then I either get told 'there's nothing wrong with your driving, I don't see why you are here' during the lesson, or 'wow, you are cautious aren't you!' and no tips to overcome the cautiousness.
    Perhaps try being specific and saying I get nervous on x, y, z roads because of the speed limit and people tailgating me. Can we drive on that road a few times so I can overcome that and learn how to manage driving on those roads.

    You might find that your anxiety is making you perceive people being more aggressive and driving faster than what they actually are.....

    Quote Originally Posted by heartstringz View Post
    Ok thanks, obviously I got told the wrong things about defensive driving courses - I got told that you get taught how to get out of skids etc, which I know would really freak me out. I might be able to do the other stuff wannawannabe said.
    Defensive driving is part theory part practical. The theory component will teach you about driving attitudes and how to manage/cope with aggressive drivers and bad drivers on the road safely.

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    Confidence can only come from driving experience...driving with an instructor is good to start with but you need to develop experience with making and acting upon your own judgements.

    I'm sure the OP is less likely to rear end me than some hot head driver who habitually drives above the speed limit.

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