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  1. #1
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    Default advise regarding settling child in childcare

    DS is starting childcare soon 3days per week. He is almost 20m and has never been away from me and my husband apart from being at a family daycare for a few hours for three days. He cried the whole time he was there and apparently the lady did not want to deal with an unsettled baby so kinda hinted me to pull him out. I did of course . His behaiviour changed so much after that and it took him a good few months to get back to his oldself. So this time I turely dont want this to happen again so need advise on how to settle him in with less drama.

    1. I can do as many orientations as I want ( at the family daycare i did not have orientation at all) . So how many times should be ok? I am thinking may be 6? how can i arrange these orientations? from when should i try to leave him and see how he goes? when leaving, do i leave while he doesnt notice or should i tell him i am leaving and be back soon?

    2. And how about after orientations, how can I build the time up smoothly?

    3. He has always been fed to sleep, even now. I have a big concern that nap time will be a big drama for him. Do you think he will be alright sleeping there? Actually I am totally ok if he does not nap rather than crying to sleep. As I will be increasing time gradually, from when do you think I could leave him at nap time there?


    Thanks everyone.
    Last edited by HLE; 08-07-2013 at 21:08.

  2. #2
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    My sons bottle feeds to sleep at home and at daycare sleeps with a few rocks of the cot .

    Orientation I'm not sure i never did it

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    HLE  (08-07-2013)

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    I would start with a short orientation but start at around the time you would normally drop him and stay till nap time. Stay and play with him but maybe try moving to another room or letting someone else change him to see how he goes with out you. Gradually build up the time over a few visits but try and let the staff put him down for a nap without you nearby to see if he will be better for them. Could he maybe have a bottle of milk before sleep to see if it will make him sleepy?

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    HLE  (08-07-2013)

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    thanks for the advise, I tried giving him bottle to sleep at home but it did not work, but i will definately try sending him with bottle of milk to see if it works of not

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    Quote Originally Posted by HLE View Post
    1. I can do as many orientations as I want ( at the family daycare i did not have orientation at all) . So how many times should be ok? I am thinking may be 6? how can i arrange these orientations? from when should i try to leave him and see how he goes? when leaving, do i leave while he doesnt notice or should i tell him i am leaving and be back soon?

    2. And how about after orientations, how can I build the time up smoothly?

    .
    The naps I don't know about, so will leave others to comment there.

    With the number of orientations, I think you won't know until he's there. IMO, the time to leave him alone is when he's built a solid relationship with the carers. During this time, he will hopefully also become used to the environment and other kids.

    I know of one preschool here where the teacher will actually visit your home and play with your child for an hour or so, just so they get used to each other. I doubt daycare would do this as a standard practice, but they might do it if you ask (or maybe offer to pay for it if you think it will help)?

    I would suggest getting a video of him having fun with the teacher, and play it to him regularly when he's not at daycare. This will help build the relationship.

    Perhaps also buy him a book about daycare / preschool - might help him get used to the idea.

    After the orientation, I would gradually build up the time away from you. Maybe an hour the first time, then gradually extend it over a couple of weeks.

    Hope he's ok and settles in well.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cdro View Post
    The naps I don't know about, so will leave others to comment there.

    With the number of orientations, I think you won't know until he's there. IMO, the time to leave him alone is when he's built a solid relationship with the carers. During this time, he will hopefully also become used to the environment and other kids.

    I know of one preschool here where the teacher will actually visit your home and play with your child for an hour or so, just so they get used to each other. I doubt daycare would do this as a standard practice, but they might do it if you ask (or maybe offer to pay for it if you think it will help)?

    I would suggest getting a video of him having fun with the teacher, and play it to him regularly when he's not at daycare. This will help build the relationship.

    Perhaps also buy him a book about daycare / preschool - might help him get used to the idea.

    After the orientation, I would gradually build up the time away from you. Maybe an hour the first time, then gradually extend it over a couple of weeks.

    Hope he's ok and settles in well.

    Thank you for the advice. I dont think they would agree to come to my house nor i could afford it, but surely I would give him enough time to get used to the carerers before leaving. Finding a book about childcare sounds a good idea, i might look into that as well, just thought maybe I could find fun videos about childcare on youtube as well?? will check that one out now~

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    GrabbyCrabby is offline She is everything I need, that I never knew I wanted... She is everything I want, that I never knew I needed...
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    We we b there for a couple of plays in the room, at different times. Morning, outside, inside, meal times etc. I sent them by themselves but for a half day after these, and picked them up before sleep time on the first day, and the second they stated as long as they were happy. I had to pick DD up at sleep time, but DS stayed the whole day! I've found it helps if they get comfortable with the people and the environment with you nearby to reassure them that it's ok - make it fun . Our centre follows home routines as much as possible. Talk to the carers and awe what will work best for you all

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    HLE  (09-07-2013)

  11. #8
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    bumping for more advice

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    I did 2 weeks of daily orientations with DD, who started full time at 15 months. My daycare is good, they are happy to pat/shush the toddlers to sleep if they need it. She's now 21 months and just loves daycare. She doesn't even say goodbye to me when I drop her off!

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    HLE  (09-07-2013)

  14. #10
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    I did a 10 min orientation then just jumped in the deep end. My bottle fed rocked to sleep 10month old adjusted in about 1 week and even slept on the second day. First day he didn't. I was stressing over nothing. I had to let go and let my boy and the careers do their thing and find there own groove. Sometimes they do things different and that's ok, what works for them is ok by me and what works for me is ok by them. I love daycare, I love working 4 days a week. He loves it. Don't judge their day by the drop off, judge it at pick up. Good luck.

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