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  1. #1
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    Default Has anyone moved overseas (or moved far from home!) while pregnant or with a newborn?

    So I am 9 weeks pregnant and DH has been offered a promotion in London, ideally having us move sometime in September.

    I'm friggin' petrified! We've lived in London before so I do know I like it and I was a nanny there so I know it's fine with babies/young children, we've always said we'd love to go back older and with more money--that it'd be a completely different experience than as broke 22 year olds. So here's our chance!

    But I didn't think this opportunity would come right when I found out I was pregnant with our second baby after our daughter was stillborn last year. I'm so worried about this pregnancy and feel so vulnerable, the idea of moving across the world right now and leaving my comfort zone, my doctors, my support group of friends is really stressing me out. We do have friends in London but I'm not super close to them...

    I'm really worried about being in a 'new' city far away from everyone, on my own with a newborn. I know DH will be around as much as he can but he already works 12 hour days so I'm sure with a promotion he'll be working more hours or the same, I'll be on my own a lot. I have a history of depression so PND is a real worry to me.

    If we don't go then DH will have to find a new job as the rest of his office is moving to Asia and the field he works in doesn't have much opportunity in Melbourne or really Australia. It's his dream job and a few years doing it would set us up to be able to go wherever we'd like to go after.

    I have moved like this before. I'm American and I followed DH to London when we first started dating and then moved to Melbourne a couple years later so I know I'm capable of moving overseas and being happy. But I also wasn't pregnant and I also wasn't traumatized from loosing my baby girl...

    I really don't know what to do. I don't want to say no and make DH unhappy and jobless. But I'm scared to go and worried how I'll cope.

    Has anyone else made a big move while pregnant, starting in a new city with a newborn? Did it work out? Did you cope?

  2. #2
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    I see that no one else has replied, so wanted to reply to you. I moved to Australia a few years ago from london and didn't have any family support here when my son was born. I also suffered pnd after he was born. The best advice I can give you is get in with a good mothers group, go out as often as you can to play groups, coffee mornings etc so that you are with other like minded people. Also try and get in touch online with ex pats who have just had small children / are also pregnant, it will give you something in common with others. I have definitely found I have made more established friendships over here since having children than I did when we first moved over childless and didn't know a soul. All the best.

  3. #3
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    why not move far from home?

  4. #4
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    Thanks for the advice Eyesgreen! If we go I will definitely try and be proactive with getting set up in mothers groups and the like.

    How did you cope being over here with PND?

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    I would definitely go!

    I am an expat too, although I've been here years so its a bit different I know. I would get involved with playgroup and a due in group on a forum like this one, and I'm sure you'll meet some other mums to hang out with...

    Sounds like a great opportunity!

  6. #6
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    I'm an expat and had DD away from home. Like others said, find some mothers groups. I'd start with the meetup website and see what you can find. In my experience, the expat community is a bit transient, so there are always new people looking for friends.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by HollyGolightly81 View Post
    Thanks for the advice Eyesgreen! If we go I will definitely try and be proactive with getting set up in mothers groups and the like.

    How did you cope being over here with PND?
    I got great support from my doctor and counselling. I feel so much stronger now and am aware of the signs to look for after this one arrives and also know that I can't be a super mum as it doesn't exist. All the best with your plans x

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    I am Canadian and moving from NSW to VIC at 6 months pregnant. I've moved a lot and have had good and bad experiences with trying to create new social groups, though none with a baby in the mix yet. In some ways having a baby will give you some common ground with some people where you might otherwise struggle, so it could even be a blessing in disguise. I would suggest that you really hit the ground running in terms of social group creation and try to get out to do the stuff you love doing both with and without kids. Meetup is pretty good for that as well as just going to your gym of choice and talking to people, or volunteering at an organization that you enjoy. You should find no shortage of opportunities in London.

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    We had moved 400kms from our home for my DH's 1st job out of uni & i fellpregnant with DD1 there. As we were only a 4ht drive from family we had our daughter back home so they could all meet her right away. Once my hubby returned to work i found some days hard as i hadn't really made any close friends. I joined a MG that was formed from "Getting to know your baby" 6 week program & we continued to meet up when that finished once a week which helped & i started getting close with 1 mum inparticular. Definetly try to get yourself involved in something like that if you can. A girl from my DD2's DIG, did this too, moved while pregnant & had bubs in England but her DH is from there. Goodluck hun.


 

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