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  1. #11
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    I agree with Janesmum123, i'm into the BDSM lifestyle and what he would be doing in regards to this is, ageplay this has nothing to do with children at all. I would be more concerned with up leaving for weeks at a time than BDSM.

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    mushiedaina  (08-07-2013)

  3. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by GabberQueeN83 View Post
    I agree with Janesmum123, i'm into the BDSM lifestyle and what he would be doing in regards to this is, ageplay this has nothing to do with children at all. I would be more concerned with up leaving for weeks at a time than BDSM.
    Yeah I get this and I do agree. He is extremely unreliable. I did know he was into this, I tried some stuff with him when we were married, bdsm wise but I didn't like it, he pushed and pushed and it really contributed to me leaving him. I never knew he was into the daddy daughter stuff. I font get it but I know it's nothing to do with actual kids it's just.. He has a history of being so indiscreet. Towards the end if our marriage I caught him masturbating in the study opposite the room where his daughter's from a previous relationship were meant to be sleeping but were awake. His door was semi open. He also has a lot of equipment that he has lying around (whips etc) that I dont think he keeps well hidden

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  4. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by hopefulmama2b View Post
    Yeah I get this and I do agree. He is extremely unreliable. I did know he was into this, I tried some stuff with him when we were married, bdsm wise but I didn't like it, he pushed and pushed and it really contributed to me leaving him. I never knew he was into the daddy daughter stuff. I font get it but I know it's nothing to do with actual kids it's just.. He has a history of being so indiscreet. Towards the end if our marriage I caught him masturbating in the study opposite the room where his daughter's from a previous relationship were meant to be sleeping but were awake. His door was semi open. He also has a lot of equipment that he has lying around (whips etc) that I dont think he keeps well hidden

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    Ok in that case it does sound concerning.
    Can you talk to him? Is he rational in conversation?
    Unfortunetly some people use a kinky lifestyle as an excuse to be idiots.
    Its never ever ok to push anyone into anything in bdsm I'm sorry that happened to you. It's not something that is tolerated ever.
    Leaving toys around is wrong and wtf with the getting himself off part next to a open door with kids.... Beyond wrong.

    If you can sit down and have a chat to him. Does he have overnight visits?
    have you got court orders or a parenting plan? Maybe you can suggest he takes the kids out for the day instead, or sees them at your place?

  5. #14
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    The being unreliable would bother me.
    But just giving him the benefit of the doubt here. Is it possible he was m@sturbating in the study because he thought you wouldn't find him in there and he had the door semi open to hear if anyone was coming?
    It sounds wrong but I don't think it screams Daddy/Daughter $exual fantasy.

  6. #15
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    After reading more I'd be concerned and wouldn't like to send my kids there.

  7. #16
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    Seriously, ex Dh is such a... Dhead!!! He saw ds last fortnight after nothing for like 8 wks i think?? Tomorrow is his day, he is meant to txt me a few days earlier to confirm. Have had nothing. Am so over it!! Can I refuse him visitation?? Ds has no freaking idea who he is and these sporatic visits are pathetic??!!

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  8. #17
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    Make a Parenting plan with someone like Inter relate, my ex is unreliable and we would never know if he was turning up right up till midnight Friday. We put a requirement on him, then I could go ahead with my weekend if I hadn't heard from him minimum of 5 days before. He was just doing it to keep controlling.

  9. #18
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    Yeah but.. If he doesn't want to see ds and he is that unreliable then I don't want him seeing ds iykwim,?

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