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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2013

    Default Feelings for someone else. Help

    Ok so not too sure where to start. But my DP & I have been together 5 yrs & 3kids. I've Got a friend who lives interstate who I've been friends with for about 8 years now talk weekly & always been there for each other anyway my DP & I split up last yr for a few months & my friend drove interstate to see me & hang out for the weekend. Things got intimate & then he had to drive back home but the contact didn't stop. We talked alot & only didnt end up together because it would mean my moving interstate & uprooting my children & DP most likely wouldn't let me move interstate
    But I rekindled things with my DP as he seemed to have improved & was putting in more effort. I still talked to my friend & he respected that I'd chosen to get back with my DP
    fast forward a yr & DP has gone back to his old ways things are tense more like we are house mates than partners & I'm still talking to my friend but I think I'm developing feelings towards him. I feel like he's the one that got away. When he even txts me it lifts my mood. He makes me feel like no one else does & treats me the way I want to be treated. & I have no idea what to do about this without ruining my friendship with him which I really value or my relationship with DP. I don't want to lose my family but I can't help the feelings I'm having.
    I just don't know what I should do. any advice without flaming me would be great as I feel $hit7y enough about it all as is. TIA

  2. #2
    αληθη's Avatar
    αληθη is offline BH name read as Aleethee
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    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    It's understandable that you would start finding interest in friends, especially one you have been intimate with, when your relationship with your dp is not as you want it to be.
    The obvious questions you need to ask are:
    Do I want to be with dp?
    Do I want this man or do I want dp to treat me like this man? (Meaning is it the guy or the way he's treating you. Would you rather it if it were your dp treating you like this guy does?)
    What if you did leave your dp for this guy?
    What are the reasons for why your dp has gone back to his 'old ways'? (In my experience with my dp was that his 'old ways' were from me not treating him right as well and not realizing what I was doing).

    I hope I've helped a little

    Sent from my talky stick

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Onion has good advice above.
    (Side note: onion you are very wise for your young years )

    If you don't want to break up your family and what it to work with DP, then sorry to be blunt but y advice would be to cut contact with your friend. If there are feelings developing, they will only get stronger whilst you are having issues at home.

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to Pesca77 For This Useful Post:

    αληθη  (06-07-2013)


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