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  1. #1
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    Default 4 month sleep regression - How did you cope!

    as the title suggests, I think we are currently going through the notorious 4 month sleep regression. Although a tricky start, my beautiful ds slept 6 to 8 hrs from 2 months until 3 and a half months. I couldn't believe it! Of course that has come crashing down since 3 half months, and his nights have become increasingly worse! On a good night he wakes two to three times, which I could happily live with, no problem. But on a bad night, like last night, he doesn't go down until 9pm, wakes hourly, and last night wouldn't sleep from 1am to 5.30am! Historically when he wakes he goes back to sleep easily, but not the last week! I'm so exhausted and he must be too! I do try and sleep when he naps (touch wood - this is still ok) but I'm not the best napper either, and stress makes it worse! From what I hear this is quite common at 4 months but I wanted to hear how others coped. I would love to co-sleep but ds is not a fan, he's non-committal with a dummy, hates the pram and car! Aarghh! Someone give me hope!

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    For me it was SOS, but this may or may not be an option for you!? If your DS is waking because he is unable to self settle or re-settle you can really tackle this whichever way you feel comfortable.

    I chose to sit by DS's cot, I ssssh'd, patted, sang him to sleep, whatever it took in the beginning, but once he was in his cot, I didn't get him out until he went off to sleep (even at first if he was only asleep for 20minutes). The first few days it could take him up to 45minutes to fall asleep (but he was doing this in my arms anyway, he would never feed to sleep and would wake as soon as I tried to put him down). After the first few days the time it was taking him to settle got shorter and shorter and I began to slowly remove myself aiding him to sleep, at around day 5 I would pop him down and sit on the chair next to his cot but turn my back to him, he would grizzle for a bit but would be asleep within 5-10mins. By day 7 I put him down in his cot, no tears, kissed him goodnight and walked out for the first time and he happily went off to sleep on his own. He did grizzle at times after this but I was comfortable in letting him protest for 5-10mins as I now knew that he knew how to put himself to sleep.

    As this point I implemented SOS routines and that was the icing on the cake for me, no more protesting at all from DS and we were cruising along and have been ever since

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    Renvind  (05-07-2013)

  4. #3
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    Sleep regressions suck. We have hit every single one, most recently the 18 month which is supposedly the worst as they combine with their new found ability to tantrum

    The best advice I can give you is very similar to sleep regression whisperer Ask Moxie - basically, it's not your fault, it effing sucks, you're not alone and it will pass.

    Once I stopped fighting sleep regressions it got easier, it really does pass and it is completely normal and just something that happens with some kids. Try not to worry about it too much and find ways to catch up on your own sleep rather than fighting their sleep.

    Good luck!

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    Renvind  (05-07-2013)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Addicted to Love View Post
    For me it was SOS, but this may or may not be an option for you!? If your DS is waking because he is unable to self settle or re-settle you can really tackle this whichever way you feel comfortable.

    I chose to sit by DS's cot, I ssssh'd, patted, sang him to sleep, whatever it took in the beginning, but once he was in his cot, I didn't get him out until he went off to sleep (even at first if he was only asleep for 20minutes). The first few days it could take him up to 45minutes to fall asleep (but he was doing this in my arms anyway, he would never feed to sleep and would wake as soon as I tried to put him down). After the first few days the time it was taking him to settle got shorter and shorter and I began to slowly remove myself aiding him to sleep, at around day 5 I would pop him down and sit on the chair next to his cot but turn my back to him, he would grizzle for a bit but would be asleep within 5-10mins. By day 7 I put him down in his cot, no tears, kissed him goodnight and walked out for the first time and he happily went off to sleep on his own. He did grizzle at times after this but I was comfortable in letting him protest for 5-10mins as I now knew that he knew how to put himself to sleep.

    As this point I implemented SOS routines and that was the icing on the cake for me, no more protesting at all from DS and we were cruising along and have been ever since
    Thanks Addicted to Love. I must say I have been googling a lot of sleep training info, but I'm unsure if this will work for my son (I have kind of tried some of the self-settling techniques) as I suspect he is a "high needs baby"....what I mean by that is that he doesn't grizzle, he screams. He is either happy or extremely dissatisfied! lol. sigh.

    I have tried to soothe him with the ssh pat kind of thing but he will not have it! The neighbourhood can hear him (his cry is the one that got child health nurse frazzled, if that gives you a bit of an idea).

    He is actually able to self-soothe at times - I have seen this myself, and when he slept 6 - 8 hours through the night, he must have been able to do that....I have also (insert extreme feeling of motherly guilt here!) fallen asleep a couple of times when he has woken in the middle of the night, grizzling, (I repeat, not screaming! No one can sleep through that and I wouldn't ignore that in any case!) and he must have fallen back asleep, as he is asleep when I wake up again....

    Oh what to do, what to do! I have been thinking about arranging an apt with local child health nurse for some advise, but I'm a bit hesitant as I've had some really hit and miss experiences with them (obviously they are all with good intentions) for other issues.....one of them once told me to wrap him up and put him in the cot, of course he will sleep, no problem (ummm right!). And do they really have any other pieces of advice that you find in all the literature in a google search??????? Has anyone found them helpful??

    I'm thinking 4 months is a little early for sleep training etc, at least for my POV, but I'm not really sure as I'm a FTM, and you read so much conflicting advice!

    At the moment I think swaddling him is still the best, as although he fights the swaddle when I'm doing it, he seems to sleep better when he feels a little secure......

    Will this end!

  7. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by babyla View Post
    Sleep regressions suck. We have hit every single one, most recently the 18 month which is supposedly the worst as they combine with their new found ability to tantrum

    The best advice I can give you is very similar to sleep regression whisperer Ask Moxie - basically, it's not your fault, it effing sucks, you're not alone and it will pass.

    Once I stopped fighting sleep regressions it got easier, it really does pass and it is completely normal and just something that happens with some kids. Try not to worry about it too much and find ways to catch up on your own sleep rather than fighting their sleep.

    Good luck!
    Thanks Babyla ... I think I will write this down, stick it in an envelope and read it through the middle of the night, while I'm hitting my head on the wall....it might help me keep focus on the normality of it.... who needs sleep anyway.....obviously 4 month olds don't need it, so surely I can manage too! I'm an emotional person generally, but sleep deprivation really brings out the worst of the "poor me" ....

  8. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Renvind View Post
    Thanks Babyla ... I think I will write this down, stick it in an envelope and read it through the middle of the night, while I'm hitting my head on the wall....it might help me keep focus on the normality of it.... who needs sleep anyway.....obviously 4 month olds don't need it, so surely I can manage too! I'm an emotional person generally, but sleep deprivation really brings out the worst of the "poor me" ....
    I was going to write it down today and put it on my fridge!!! Check out Ask Moxie, just google and search her site for sleep regressions. It might not help fix it but it definitely makes you feel better about getting through it. I remember at the 4 month one my DS would only sleep in his pram after waking at 1am and then wheeling him from bed with my foot while I tried to sleep until the early morning hours. It felt like it went on for ages but it did pass. The most important bit is trying to get someone to give you an arvo sleep at least on the weekend so you're looking after yourself.

  9. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Renvind View Post
    Thanks Addicted to Love. I must say I have been googling a lot of sleep training info, but I'm unsure if this will work for my son (I have kind of tried some of the self-settling techniques) as I suspect he is a "high needs baby"....what I mean by that is that he doesn't grizzle, he screams. He is either happy or extremely dissatisfied! lol. sigh.

    I have tried to soothe him with the ssh pat kind of thing but he will not have it! The neighbourhood can hear him (his cry is the one that got child health nurse frazzled, if that gives you a bit of an idea).

    He is actually able to self-soothe at times - I have seen this myself, and when he slept 6 - 8 hours through the night, he must have been able to do that....I have also (insert extreme feeling of motherly guilt here!) fallen asleep a couple of times when he has woken in the middle of the night, grizzling, (I repeat, not screaming! No one can sleep through that and I wouldn't ignore that in any case!) and he must have fallen back asleep, as he is asleep when I wake up again....

    Oh what to do, what to do! I have been thinking about arranging an apt with local child health nurse for some advise, but I'm a bit hesitant as I've had some really hit and miss experiences with them (obviously they are all with good intentions) for other issues.....one of them once told me to wrap him up and put him in the cot, of course he will sleep, no problem (ummm right!). And do they really have any other pieces of advice that you find in all the literature in a google search??????? Has anyone found them helpful??

    I'm thinking 4 months is a little early for sleep training etc, at least for my POV, but I'm not really sure as I'm a FTM, and you read so much conflicting advice!

    At the moment I think swaddling him is still the best, as although he fights the swaddle when I'm doing it, he seems to sleep better when he feels a little secure......

    Will this end!
    Absolutely understand, my DS was 5 months before I sleep trained but the sleep regression had been going on since 3.5 months. He was a screamer too, he made sleep associations very early on and I would only have to come near him with his swaddle and he would start to protest. I would never have done CC or CIO with him as I am sure he would have screamed black and blue for hours had I left him alone but the more gentle approach fortunately worked for him. I really dedicated to it though, I basically stayed home for a week and was very consistent with getting him to self settle and with the routine, payed off in the end, wouldn't change a thing but you can only do what you are comfortable with.

    Good luck, sleep depravation is a slow form of torture for some, me being one of them too

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    Oh, there's a 4-month sleep regression?? That explains a lot! No, I'm not being sarcastic - I'm being thick! My boy is 5 months old tomorrow - this is my second baby, by the way, and I'm still clueless - and in the last week or so he's been v hard to get to sleep and day sleeps have been shorter. Sounds a lot like your baby, OP. And Wed night was terrible - he ended up awake from 1:30-4 am, didn't fall asleep on bottle, and ended up screaming. Yes, he's a screamer too, won't fall asleep if put down, and fights the wrap. But he's also got reflux and we changed the meds last week, he's teething, he's just started rolling, he spent Thursday pooing so may have had a tummy ache during the night, and he has a possible bronchomalacia which interferes with his breathing ... So I'm not too worried about getting him to self-soothe yet; I'm happy to help him sleep as he has a few 'issues'.

    anyway, it's not about me - sorry for raving. For what it's worth, here's how I deal with the sleep struggle:
    - wrap him even though he fights it
    - put the musical seahorse near him - this soothed DS1 too, I love the thing!
    - rock him or walk around with him if he'll let me, until he screams himself out and crashes to sleep, or sometimes just goes to sleep calmly
    - put him down in swing during day or cot at night, when he's almost or entirely asleep
    - don't even attempt to nap myself as I also have a toddler, and failure to get to sleep makes me feel more stressed
    - soothe myself with chocolate ice cream.

    Good luck - and thanks for enlightening me about the sleep regression!

    T

  11. #9
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    My bub is 8 months old and we're still going through the 4 month regression! He hasn't slept through a night since 17 weeks when he'd slept 10 hour nights prior to that. It sucks!

    Sent from my GT-I9300T using The Bub Hub mobile app


 

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