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  1. #1
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    Default Pregnant with baby #4 - Mixed emotions! Help please!

    Hi ladies, We found out we are expecting baby #4 last week after 3 months of trying (it happen so quickly this time around)! When I saw the I couldn't be happier, and Im still very excited and feel so lucky, but then there is also that part of me that is TERRIFIED! We spoke many times about #4 and what would come with an extra little one in our family etc, and had it all sorted before we started TTC but now I keep questioning myself... Have we done the right thing?, is 4 to many?, will we still be able to give them everything they need? I hope it doesn't affect my 3 babies aI already have, the list goes on! I know its only early days and once I see our bubs at our first ultrasound, and feel the first movements it will all become more real and exciting, and don't get me wrong I am excited and want this more then anything, just hoping these nagging "what if" "doubting" "OMG 4" questions that keep filling my head will go away! Please has anyone felt like this and does anyone have any advice to make me feel more confident that 4 is perfect!!
    Last edited by 2gorgeousboys; 04-07-2013 at 21:19.

  2. #2
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    I'm feeling a bit the same about baby 3. I wrote down all my positive reasons and read them when I feel doubt. Too late to question it now so I might as well enjoy it as much as possible.

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    2gorgeousboys  (07-08-2013)

  4. #3
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    I had my fourth mour months ago. I know exactly how you are feeling. My fourth actually came with some more things to concern myself about in that she has a different daddy to my other three.
    Four baby is yes, alot of kids, but its no harder than three really. Every so often I catch myself thinking, holy cow, four freaking children! But Im also super proud and totally in love with each and every of them.
    Some times there are tricky moments, bit more juggling, bit more jealousy (my sedond youngest is two), but we make sure that each child gets special time, if my toddler is needing cuddles when Im feeding or tending to the baby, then my partner will take over and help with one of them, or my eldest daughter will take her to read a story.
    We are a big, crazy, chaotic, loud, happy, loving family and I would never change that. Im glad I have four, even tough it spins me out that there are four! lol

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    2gorgeousboys  (07-08-2013),Starfield  (20-07-2013)

  6. #4
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    Firstly congrats! i can relate I felt like this with number 3 ( currently 18 weeks). My children are nearly 6 & 5, my bfp was bfs (big fat surprise). We were not trying or even spoke about trying again. I thought I was done! I had the same emotions as you, can we afford it, would my other 2 children miss out on anything? I was also very selfish for example my body is awesome now after a lot of hard work getting back into shape! I'm loving life we have our own business, I have a social life again that doesn't revolve around nap times! Even things like going back to nappies & bottles freaked me out not to mention I thought what if I don't remember what to do with a baby? All sorts went through my head. Dh was over the moon when I told him, complete opposite to me.

    It wasn't until I went to my dr to have it confirmed & the dr was talking to me about date scans & Nuchal fold screening he said "that's assuming you wish to proceed with the pregnancy" omg those words were like a knife in my heart, and I'm pro choice. From that minute nothing else mattered. I've got enough love for 3 babies & everything else we will make work. We did with the 2 we have now.

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    2gorgeousboys  (07-08-2013)

  8. #5
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    My goodness you scenario sounds like mine! I really wanted to have another and we conceived in 3 months. But I was so nervous and unsure I'd done the right thing which was terrible. I was concerned that maybe I was greedy wanting another when I had 3 healthy children already. And what if this baby was not well, the strain it would cause us. Then I would worry that I am worrying so much it can't be good for the baby as it would feel me stress. I even googled the baby sensing my stress and it said the baby may be prone to depression! Argh.

    It's amazing how when it was 4th child I was the most nervous. And so much wanted and yearned for another and I finally had the positive test I was second guessing. We had a gender scan at 16 weeks as I wanted to find out what we were having. I loved finding out as it made in sink in and I really started bonding with the baby.

    Now she is here and 8 months old and I love love love having just that 1 more I always wanted. I am holding her as she sleeps right now and truly every day feel blessed and like the luckiest woman to have had a 4th baby.

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    2gorgeousboys  (07-08-2013)

  10. #6
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    how are you feeling now OP? Hope your nerves have settled and you are embracing this pregnancy in the way you thought you would

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    2gorgeousboys  (07-08-2013)

  12. #7
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    Congrats on bub! I think it's totally normal to feel unsure and to worry about how you'll cope. It's a big step! It means maybe thinking about different cars to fit more kids in, it possibly means a bigger house, there are already 3 kids to think about, then there's the added stress on the finances etc etc.. Not to mention the toll on you physically! But as someone said previously, going from 3 to 4 really doesn't add too much bulk in workload - you're already doing it all for 3 so the fourth just slots in somewhere lol.

    And soooo many positives to think about too... I am having my fourth next month, totally accidental BFP too so that was hard to get my head around, but I have and I'm excited beyond belief now!

    These concerns still hit me now and again but I guess we will just sort of manage and get on with it! Congrats again

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    2gorgeousboys  (07-08-2013)

  14. #8
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    I completely understand! We are currently trying to decide whether to go for #4 (after being definite 3 is enough people for 2.5 years now). We both swing from 100% yes, back to no and somewhere in the middle, all in an afternoon!!
    I'm sure everything will work out beautifully for you congratulations xo

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    2gorgeousboys  (07-08-2013)

  16. #9
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    Thank you so much ladies for your helpful and supportive advice! As each week goes by I feel better and more confident that everything will be ok!! I have had TERRIBLE all day sickness, and I think that has played a part in my feelings and emotions, and im sure once I have our 12 week ultrasound in 2 weeks I will feel even better and more excited because I know everything will be ok!!

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    Twinkling  (07-08-2013)


 

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