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  1. #681
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    Hi Gampa I'm really sorry to hear that your having these struggles - especially with your two little ones and obviously having had an emotional week with your miscarriage and d&c. It's not nice to hear that your hubby hasn't been supportive and seems nonchalant about the whole thing - perhaps it's his way of dealing with it? I understand on some level what you are going through with your hubby. When Orlando was born he was SO supportive and my absolute rock and I seriously couldn't have done it without him - he pushed me to go out shopping or have my hair done so I had some time out - now it's completely different - I struggle to get him to help out when I'm juggling dinner and bath time. He loves his son so much and is a wonderful dad but he really only has play time these days - I do all the other stuff! I wanted to start yoga in the evenings but he can't handle putting the baby to bed so I can't go out at night not that I would but if I wanted to book a massage or a wax or go to the gym without taking up our weekend I can't do it. Plus my mothers group is going out for dinner in Friday which I'm missing out on. I've just realised the point of my post was about supporting you and I've turned it into my own whinge fest! Sorry!

    Bottom line is I understand how you are feeling especially with your family being overseas as mine is. Why don't you think about going over to nz for a holiday with your girls to spend some time with your family, clear your head a bit and weigh up everything. Massive hugs it sounds like you're having a really crappy time and just hope you get through it quickly x

  2. #682
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    Gampa I'm so sorry to hear

  3. #683
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    So sorry Gampa :-( hug your girls tight XX

  4. #684
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    Woops premature post lol.

    As I was saying I'm so sorry for your loss. You have every right to feel down. You need time to grieve and re-adjust again ( such a roller coaster you poor thing ). We are always here to listen and support you when ever you need.

    I'm very lucky with Dh apart from him having to work away some times. Have either of you told your Dh's ( Gampa and SL) how you feel? Like brutally honestly. Especially if you feel like separating.

  5. #685
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    Oh Gampa things sound really tough at the moment and your DH really sounds unsupportive. You are doing a great job and can't be expected to do everything!!! I hope things get better soon, first coco starts sleeping, then you will have the energy to chat to your DH. I would be furious about the airport thing, it's not just your daughter or just your responsibility it's his kid too!! Sorry I'm prob overstepping the mark but some men just make me mad with their immaturity.

    SL maybe your DH could practice putting O down while your home? Then if it goes to crap u can take over?? But hopefully after a few goes he will get the hang of it.

    I'm lucky my DH is very supportive, it changed our relationship in a way cause we don't get to chat as much etc but as the months go on we have more time again. I suppose I just had 2 people to love and Ivy gets a lot of my attention which I know was hard for him in the beginning, he never complained but I know he missed our time (as did I).

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    Sorry you are having a really tough time Gampa, it must be incredibly hard not having family around for support.

    I'm lucky in that I have both my family and my in-laws supporting me when I need a break.

    Have you considered counseling? I told my husband I wanted us to have counseling. He didn't agree until I asked him to stay at his mums for a break. I just couldn't cope anymore, it seems we had lost our spark and pressures of having a baby and my husband not being as supportive as I would've liked had made us argue.

    I think my husband now realises through counselling how much help I need with Ella.

    We are a partnership, we all need a supportive partnership and they need to realise that.

  7. #687
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    That's great KM I'm so glad you guys are going better and counseling has helped!!

    It's such a huge adjustment isn't it!!

  8. #688
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    Dragon / Nicsta - my hubby has been mega stresses lately he's had heaps of changes at work plus we're under a lot of financial pressure at the moment. To add to that he has just taken 2 weeks off work and he has not had one day to relax and had to have a cortisone injection in his shoulder last week and a tooth pulled out this week the poor thing! It was both of our birthdays last week and I got a spa voucher which I used yesterday afternoon - I was gone out of the house for about 5 hours and hubby was fine on his own which made me feel good.

    How r u going Gampa?

    In other news my end Orlando has cut his first tooth (7.5 months). It's only just coming up and hasn't poked through quite yet but it's on the edge. Very exciting hehe! In not so exciting news we had more tests to check on orlandos dilated kidney which unfortunately has worsened so will need an operation most likely happening in December

    Hope you are all travelling well with your little munchkins! How are we going with sitting and crawling? Orlando is on the verge of both but not there yet...

  9. #689
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    Glad to hear you got time out SL hope things improve for hubby soon!

    Ivy now has 4 teeth, she can sit, has done so for almost 3 months, she is rocking in all 4's but no crawl yet, she can pull up and take steps around furniture.

    Today was terrible...she was on my bed in the middle and I went to get something and she got onto her tummy and commando crawled off?!!! I heard a thump, omg I nearly had a heart attack, she cried poor kid, she seem ok but I felt like the worst mother!!!

  10. #690
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    Hope you've all had a good weekend and that your partners are pitching in to give you a break...

    Gampa, I've been thinking of you, I hope you're feeling a little better X

    I'm counting down till my DH is home again, 3 more sleeps... Attached a photo of my 8 month old, geez time is flying! Night XXX

    ImageUploadedByThe Bub Hub1382270038.067600.jpg

    Nic, don't be too hard on yourself, they move so quickly & you won't have bed the first or the last!


    Sent from my iPhone using The Bub Hub mobile app


 

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