+ Reply to Thread
Page 6 of 7 FirstFirst ... 4567 LastLast
Results 51 to 60 of 62
  1. #51
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    686
    Thanks
    113
    Thanked
    211
    Reviews
    11
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    So my relationship with my mum has always been strained, and so no, our relationship is certainly not like that

    For those that are very close to their parents, how do you think that happened? Did they have a particular attitude and parent a particular way?

    Just thinking in respect to my relationship with my daughter.

    Sorry, should probably start a spin off.

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to MamaNurture For This Useful Post:

    Cicho  (06-07-2013)

  3. #52
    Madame Mayhem's Avatar
    Madame Mayhem is offline Who you are is who you should be, don't change for anyone
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    394
    Thanks
    110
    Thanked
    128
    Reviews
    0
    Personally I don't think someone's maturity can be determined by what their parent do for them (or don't for that matter)

    By 23 I had been living out of home for a few years,I was married, had a mortgage and my parents lived interstate. Does that make me more mature than some one else with a different arrangement? No, I don't think so, I still made plenty of immature decisions (and still do now when I should be older and wiser) and I would love even now for my mum to do those things for me, and if she lived closer I'm sure she would lol
    Last edited by Madame Mayhem; 04-07-2013 at 20:00.

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to Madame Mayhem For This Useful Post:

    LoveLivesHere  (04-07-2013)

  5. #53
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    795
    Thanks
    3,030
    Thanked
    695
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I let my mum haggle for me at electronics stores and at the markets. The woman is a master at getting discounts. I think they say yes just to shut her up but it certainly works for me!

  6. #54
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Qld
    Posts
    26,930
    Thanks
    2,736
    Thanked
    6,743
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    I had a baby when I was 19... so by 23, I had a 4-year-old. lol.

    Look, I relied on my mother for support when I left DD's father, because I had to move out of the place I was renting... but apart from footing the bill for a short while (while I waited for Centrelink after the break-up) and perhaps driving me around a little, I didn't really rely on her... not like that.

    I rarely even pack DD's suitcase when she goes and stays with Mum... DD is not yet 8, and I usually tell her to do it (and then just check it to make sure there's still undies and stuff in there... lol).

    Maybe she has issues letting go? I know heaps of mothers like this... MIL even gets like this with DP a little, and will organise his contact lenses for him, and go out of her way to pick them up. Weird really... but I think he's fine with it because it means he doesn't have to.

  7. #55
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    19
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked
    2
    Reviews
    0
    Thanks for the replies..I haven't had a chance to read every one of them but respect what you have to say. I don't see my sister often but I witnessed something last night that has me confused. Apart from my sister being bossy and nasty towards me she is very lovely and kind to her daughter so I give her 100 points for this. Niece was getting ready for bed(she was tired) as we were leaving last night and sister went in and tucked her in. She sleeps with a doll(that my mother(her grandmother) made her 16 years ago. The other Afternoon when niece was asleep on couch, she woke up and my sister said, "Awwwwwwwwwww, hi!! "(in baby voice - like a baby had just woken).Now I am completely dumbfounded. It's the mollycoddling I don't get!
    By 23 I had been living out of home for a few years,I was married, had a mortgage and my parents lived interstate. Does that make me more mature than some one else with a different arrangement?
    It means you are taking steps to be responsible for your OWN life and good on you for doing so! You can still have that support from your parents but you have let go of your parent's apron strings. Nothing wrong with support from parents though.
    I just don't get why people think there's an age cutoff where you're not supposed to 'need' your mum anymore.
    I didn't say we don't need our mothers...I am saying that by this age she could take some responsibility and take care of her own needs rather then mother doing them for her. It makes niece lazy and mother tired.
    Last edited by soggycats22; 06-07-2013 at 16:51.

  8. #56
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    5,276
    Thanks
    3,697
    Thanked
    3,090
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    I don't see an issue. If she's happy and her mum's happy, then what's the problem?

    Maybe she doesn't 'need' to have her mum do all these things for her, but maybe she likes it, and her mum likes it.

    My mum helps me with things like sewing/ mending stuff. I don't 'need' her to do it, as I could do it myself (although not as well as her), but she is happy to help and I love having her help. I'm 35.

    I also don't understand all the people saying "Well, at that age I had done XYZ." It doesn't mean that the daughter in this case couldn't do XYZ. Just that her mum does some stuff for her, and both parties seem happy with that.

    I moved out at 19, but am super close to my mum. I call her most days (often more than once), and she's one of the first people I turn to for everything. I love the bond that I have with her. I'm sure plenty of the lovely things she does for me could be judged by others as "unnecessary". And they are unnecessary. If she didn't do them then I would still survive. But that doesn't mean she shouldn't do nice things for me!

    And saying 'Aww hi' when she wakes up, in a cutesy voice... I'm not sure what the problem is there, either? Some husbands and wives speak to each other like that!

    I'd understand if your sister hated that your niece wouldn't do that stuff, or if your niece was annoyed that your sister did it. But if they're both happy then that's fine.

    Also, I have friends with food allergies, and I would always phone a restaurant to let them know if I was involved in the booking. Why wouldn't you?

  9. #57
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    1,935
    Thanks
    393
    Thanked
    1,325
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I was about to agree with you girl x, but then I thought about how hard it can be if you marry someone who hasn't learnt to pay their own bills, budget, manage their life etc - so from that perspective I guess I think that as parents we need to teach our kids how to be able to thrive independently.... I guess we need to distinguish having a close relationship from having a.. coddling? relationship?

  10. #58
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    3,517
    Thanks
    432
    Thanked
    3,246
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I've tried to reply to this thread a few times without coming across as rude and harsh and I'm going to try again.

    Going by your history since you joined up to BH, you don't sound all that grown up or mature yourself. With that in mind, I think it might be wise to address this before you go making assumptions on another person, no matter who it happens to be.

    I'm not trying to sound b1tchy or anything, but this is what I've noticed. The constant theme to your threads is, at the heart of everything, your family not acting the way you want them to or treating you the way you expect them to so you seem to be looking for justification in regards to your feelings on the matter from external sources.

    Just my two cents from the information at hand, anyway.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to Jennaisme For This Useful Post:

    soggycats22  (06-07-2013)

  12. #59
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    19
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked
    2
    Reviews
    0
    I'm not trying to sound b1tchy or anything, but this is what I've noticed. The constant theme to your threads is, at the heart of everything, your family not acting the way you want them to or treating you the way you expect them to so you seem to be looking for justification in regards to your feelings on the matter from external sources.
    Thanks.

  13. #60
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    3,927
    Thanks
    570
    Thanked
    1,116
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I think if it works for them it's not that bad, so long as your niece knows how to do these things if her Mum wasn't there, the fact that she is there and doing them for her doesn't really matter so long as she has the skills.

    My Mum's in her mid 60's, perfectly healthy and capable, but if she mentions on the phone that she's run out of milk and I'm doing the food shopping I'll get her some too and drop it round. She is capable but I'm there and it saves her the trip.

    I would have a bigger issuer if your Aunt was paying for her overseas trip than the fact she is packing her bags, my parents quite often help me with little things which I find more helpful than anything.

  14. The Following User Says Thank You to ICanDream For This Useful Post:

    Guest654  (06-07-2013)


 

Similar Threads

  1. How are GPs treating infant ear infections these days?
    By SeaShanty in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 06-02-2013, 10:23
  2. Mask of pregnancy - any point in treating it whilst still pregnant?
    By decemberbubba in forum Pregnancy & Birth General Chat
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 18-01-2013, 16:30
  3. How is motherhood treating you?
    By Elizabeth2012 in forum Research Help
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 25-11-2012, 12:51

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Tambo Teddies
Visit our online store and select your individually handmade natural sheepskin teddy bear. Our soft and loveable bears come in a range of styles and colours. Created in Outback Queensland each bear is unique individual. 100% Australian made!
sales & new stuffsee all
CarmelsBeautySecrets
Growing your own natural nails is easy. Years ago, I devised a simple and very effective technique which really helps boosts the nails' growth in as little as three days! And most importantly keeps them that way.
featured supporter
Maternity Clothes
Looking to buy maternity clothes? :: Check the bubhub directory of local & online maternity clothes shops :: Find preloved maternity wear
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!