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  1. #1
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    Default Is My sister treating her daughter like a chid?

    I am so confused. My sister keeps telling me how mature and grown-up her 23 year daughter is compared to most people her age and (older - I think she means me sometimes)..because she is saving up for her next big overseas trip. My sister feels this has matured her considerably.And yet...........she still 1) Packs her suitcase/bag when she goes away on holidays (even if it is to another state). 2) Still phones Restaruants to advise them of daughter's food allergy. 3) Still takes her to the Disneyland movies - they have Saturday date days where they enjoy Disney movies and breakfast together.4) helps her find places to rent(she doesn't live at home). 4) Helps her buy clothes(picks them out!)What were you doing at age 23? Do your parents still play a big part in your decision making? I am just curious. By age 17-18 my parents had left me to make a lot of my own decisions/choices.

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    I think the packing the suitcase and ringing the restaurant to inform of illnesses are definitely overstepping for a 23 yr-old.. The other 3 I am unsure of.. they could be 'fun' bonding activities for them? I am probably the wrong person to have an opinion as my mum died when I was 12, and my dad certainly didn't do any of the listed things, ever. I see some of my friends have close relationships with their mums though, and could imagine them doing some of the last three points.

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    I'm 23, married with a baby and make my own decisions, however if I was going to a restaurant with my mum and she was making the booking and I had an allergy, I'm sure she'd tell the restaurant. I love Disney movies so if my mum was into them too, I'd go on a movie date with her for sure! Also, mum sometimes comes shopping for clothes with me and will pick something up off the rack to show me. If I were looking for a place to rent, I'm sure she'd keep an eye out for places for me, in the past when I've mentioned that I'm looking to buy something second hand, she looks on eBay for it for me.

    As for packing a suitcase, my mum doesn't do that for me.

    I think your sister and niece just seem like they developed a great friendship and I don't think there's anything wrong with what your sister does with / for her daughter.

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  5. #4
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    1,2 and 4 are way over stepping...

    i see no harm in watching the animated movies together or helping find rentals...but, the other things are over stepping and certainly treating her like a child.

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    To me it just sounds as though they are really close.

    The packing and phoning restaurants is a bit strange but eh, whatever works for them I suppose.


    I turn 23 next month and have lived out of home for 5 years, am engaged to my partner of six years, have a two year old son and have just purchased my first house.
    My parents treat me as an adult, both kept an eye on properties while we were looking so sort of the same, they will help me with anything they can if I ask.
    Last edited by RobinSparkles; 03-07-2013 at 18:41.

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    Thanks.I am a probably a lot older then most of you here and certainly didn't do any of these things with my mum....well, maybe she helped me decide the right colour dress to wear(If I was going to a wedding)..The Disney thing I don't get. By age 23 I had already become a carer and organised my first (of many) funerals. Life was definitely different for me!! The packing of bags is something I mastered at age 12...I just hope she turns out to be a mature school teacher..hopefully by mid 2014!!

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    I think its only a problem if the daughter doesnt like her mum doing this stuff.. She could either be lazy and unmotivated and lets her mum do it cause she doesnt care, or just enjoys her mum doing it for her. If it isnt affecting you, is it really a problem?

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    I'm 26 and don't see a huge problem with any of those things. I have a food allergy and appreciate when people check with restaurants as it sucks going there and finding most things on the menu are a no go. Also, I moved out of home when I was 17 but when I went overseas for 2 years to work and travel at age 21, mum still checked what I packed not because I couldn't do it myself but because she is my mum and wanted to know that her "baby" would be okay on the other side of the world. Sometimes mums need to feel included and like they are still needed. I knew mum was just worrying as mums do and that it wasn't because I was too immature. We also have regular lunch dates and watch movies that we watched in the good old days. We are extremely close though


    Two girls, one dream and baby you are it!

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    I make my own choices but I still let my parents join in on the decisions. My mum buys a lot of my clothes a surprises for me, so is that her treating me like a child? If so then fine, I get awesome clothes that she knows I like. I don't think there's anything wrong with it all tbh unless the 23 year old had a problem with it.

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    At 23 I was married, pregnant, had moved out of home (6yrs by then) had a full time job and was a normal working adult.

    I'd have the major poos if my mother did half of those things.

    Sure, she rings me and asks if I've forgotten things in my suitcase, I run through some of my life decisions with her or ask her advice but I certainly don't take her advice as gospel. I ask, take what I need and make the decision for myself.

    Ps. I love Disney movies

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