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  1. #1
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    Default Another MIL topic

    So I will try to keep this one short. My PIL watch my DS (18months) twice a week when I am at work. I am very greatful for this.

    There have been several instances where they have made a choice that made me a bit annoyed but I haven't said anything cause I know they love him and of course no one mothers as good as you.

    However recently my SIL went on maternity leave and I still have a few weeks left. My SIL has a small issue of really not liking to be on her own at ALL. This means each day my DS is there her and her DS is there - not a big deal they get along great.

    Although it seems SIL is getting cabin fever and asks her parents to take her out everyday. Normally for coffe in the arvo or day shopping and my Ds obviously has to tag along.

    The problem is they have really stopped putting him down for naps which means he is beside himself when he gets home screams in bath, screams at dinner, won't eat it cause he's too tired and then wakes around midnight cause he's hungry. I'm 33 weeks pregnant and both DH and I are exhausted trying to desk with this and then we skip dinner cause we are too tired to cook.

    Anyway I have been trying to suck it up as I go on maternity leave in 4.5 weeks. But yesterday my DS went over with a pretty heavy cold. I only packed slippers not shoes as I really didn't want him going outside in the cold weather. I also told FIL when I dropped him off he'd been pretty sick so could he have a quiet day indoors?

    So I pick him up and his nose is running into his mouth, chest is soaking from not having a bib on, his temp was up nd he was walking around in a haze with glassy eyes. I thought oh well he obviously got sicker today no ones fault until my MIL mentioned they visited my SIL all day and the boys spent the day outside. My mouth shot open as I was shocked. They apparently put his cousins shoes on him(3 sizes to big) and my SIL doesn't have a cot so I know he didn't get a sleep again.

    I know sil only wanted him over cause the boys entertain each other and she gets a break from her DS and I am really annoyed they would make a decision based on her needs not their 18 month grandson. Isn't it logic when a child is sick you don't take then outdoors.

    Anyway I have been up with DS all night with coughing (first night this happened) and I know it may have nothing to do with going outside I an still really annoyed.

    My DH spoke to then last night politely and they apparently got really annoyed and didn't even stop to consider it may have been a bad choice. I'm just sad that my baby DS seems to take a backseat to his aunt and her wants an needs.

    So question - would you be upset? Should I have sucked it up cause they are so kind to watch him for free?

  2. #2
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    Yep I would be upset by this. Its hard when others are doing you the favour to then criticise but I think in this case its a fair call. This is a reason I use daycare too, I don't worry about upsetting anyone with a complaint or request.

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  4. #3
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    Id be extremely annoyed if I were you. I think you have ever right that you ask that they put your child first while he is sick!

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    Meld85  (02-07-2013)

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    Quote Originally Posted by babyla View Post
    Yep I would be upset by this. Its hard when others are doing you the favour to then criticise but I think in this case its a fair call. This is a reason I use daycare too, I don't worry about upsetting anyone with a complaint or request.
    This!

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    Meld85  (02-07-2013)

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    Yeah I think you have every right to be annoyed and sounds like your dh even went the right way about approaching them about it. How soon is the next day that he is supposed to be with them?

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    Absolutely you have every right to be upset! My IL's used to mind my DS1 twice a week when he was little and they would ignore things that I'd ask them to do (not quite so bad as your experience!). I always felt like I 'owed' them because they did it for free but it really sucks when they don't follow your instructions!

    I'd be getting DH to have a chat with them and explain the problems you are having when DS misses his day sleep. If they get shirty it might be time to bite the bullet and look at day care.

    As an aside my DS2 goes to day care twice a week (FIL not well enough to care for a toddler now) and its soooooo much easier! They do exactly as I ask and it's just a more relaxed experience for me as opposed to having my IL's do the caring. So worth the money if you can afford it!

    Good luck

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    I'd be really annoyed. I think your feelings are valid. It's common sense, if a child's not well you don't send them out into the cold.

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    Meld85  (02-07-2013)

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    Why didn't you take the day off and look after your son if he was so obviously unwell? You know what your inlaws are like and yet you took your sick son there. No, l do not think you should be annoyed this is the consequence of your actions. If he was in day care you would have had to take time off to look after him.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Callian View Post
    Why didn't you take the day off and look after your son if he was so obviously unwell? You know what your inlaws are like and yet you took your sick son there. No, l do not think you should be annoyed this is the consequence of your actions. If he was in day care you would have had to take time off to look after him.
    Not everyone has that option for numerous reasons. The OP quite reasonably trusted her MIL to have her sons health as a priority which the MIL did not do. The OP has every right to be angry about what happened & is in no way at fault.

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    Bulbasaur  (02-07-2013),Meld85  (02-07-2013)

  18. #10
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    I think it's fair that you were upset but I do think that maybe you should've stayed home from work. Not just because it sounds like they wouldn't have kept him inside, but also because his cousin could have caught the cold too.
    I trust my inlaws with my ds but only because they demonstrate constantly that they do what I ask. I'd review your child care options.

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    Albert01  (02-07-2013),MilkingMaid  (02-07-2013)


 

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