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  1. #1
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    Default Unsupportive Husband

    Hi there,

    Just wondered if anyone else has encountered an unsupportive husband during IVF?

    It's our first round, due to male issues and so doing IMSI. He was fine just prior to egg retrieval whereby he started drinking lots...given he had to produce the best quality sperm I was really upset about this, said it lacked commitment and its been downhill from there. Had a very stressful lead up to ER which was Wed and he's been a nightmare thereon. I'm due for ET on Monday and after a huge row kicked him out today (Saturday) and just don't know what to do...to go ahead as so nearly there or have any good embryos frozen.

    So upset and confused, just wondered how normal this was :-( ?

  2. #2
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    My DH struggled to begin with (we had male factor and female factor) and found sperm collection very confronting (he is not a "self service" kind of guy lol) but, he certainly did not derail things like your DH has. He got pretty sulky the first few rounds...and we had to have frozen sperm as a back up as he would get really stressed and freak out.

    It took a long time for him to get his head around it all...how long since his diag? Has he seen a counsellor about it...it sounds like he is struggling.

    Am sorry he is being an ****...ivf is such a hard journey on everyone involved and I am not trying to downplay how hard this is on you....but it sounds like he needs support right now.

    I would say to go ahead with transfer if you have a viable embie...they are better fresh and it is what you have both planned.

    Be extra kind to yourself but try and forgive him for being an **** under pressure and try and support him too.

  3. #3
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    I work at an IVF clinic and I see this all the time. Men find the 'blow' of having to do IVF way harder to reconcile than women

  4. #4
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    Thanks both, your replies really help :-) its just such an emotional time, just wanted this to be a happy time not an upsetting one but guess you can't always have what you want!!! Yep, will go ahead, heard we have 3 good embies today so everything crossed they make it until Monday :-)

  5. #5
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    Sorry River Song, meant to say we found out recently, probably 3 months ago that he had problems so guess he's getting his head around things and he hasn't had any counselling, do you think its worth suggesting?

  6. #6
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    MKG I can't offer you advise on your hubby issues but I just couldn't read and not post you a hug . IVF is hard enough without needing any added stress. Good Luck with the transfer and I hope your little embies keep growing for you.

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    Awww, thank you Sharlee32 :-) I am cuddling up to my 3 fur babies who are amazingly supportive :-) Best of luck with your journey too, what stage are you up to?

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    In the middle of the 2ww Fur babies give the best cuddles and yep they will always have your back.

  9. #9
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    Oh wow, very best of luck

  10. #10
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    Male factor is such a hard condition, blokes feel like they're not "manly" enough and its the one thing theyre supposed to do in this whole process. Sounds he's feeling sorry for himself and is acting out, although its not the greatest of timing he's most likely feeling guilty and doesnt know how to cope.


    My DH has struggled but seems to be ok (so far) he talks to the guys at his work about it which appears to be working.


    Definitely go ahead with the transfer, he'll come around.

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to Wishnhope For This Useful Post:

    MKG  (29-06-2013)


 

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