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  1. #1
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    Default 14 year old brother really bothering 6 year old sister, what would you do please.

    14 year old brother is bothering 6 year old sister

    I firstly wonder how you would handle it

    eg talk to him about rules, respect, how he would feel,

    set boundaries that if it happens again then there will be consequences

    eg no tv no computer that night etc

    i also wonder if it can lead to a child choosing an abusive husband later in life as i've seen children who were abused by older brothers in the way of emotionally driven nuts constantly or being annoyed constantly, using their size etc to constantly drive the sister nuts whether it was playing soccer and basketball but constnatly taking ball off the sister and making her frustrated,

    i wonder then if they then go and marry a partner who will also abuse them in some way and give them that feeling of being constnatly frustrated.

    but either way i'm looking for how to handle it now as i dont think its fair or humane to just let it keep happeneing.

    i do tell them to separate but they like hanging around each other but then drive each other nuts at times.

    how much is normal, how much should i ignore, how much should i talk about and try to act on with consequences or praise depending on if they were kind of frustrating to their younger sibling. they are 14 and younger sibling is 6

    .

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    At 14 he is old enough to know right from wrong- I would have a zero tolerance to him harming/tormenting younger siblings. Work out his currency (seriously 1 night of loss of tv isn't really disastrous for a 14 year old). What about no activities (football, sport, hanging out with friends etc) for a week. Or hard labor- mowing the lawns, scrubbing the toilets etc

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    Bubbles10  (30-06-2013),CleverClogs  (06-10-2013),jagamoe  (29-06-2013)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Meags82 View Post
    At 14 he is old enough to know right from wrong- I would have a zero tolerance to him harming/tormenting younger siblings. Work out his currency (seriously 1 night of loss of tv isn't really disastrous for a 14 year old). What about no activities (football, sport, hanging out with friends etc) for a week. Or hard labor- mowing the lawns, scrubbing the toilets etc
    Agree.

    OP my kids are younger, we're a few years away from teens yet but I think it just comes down to establishing ground rules and enforcing them.

    At 14 your son is very aware of what is and isn't ok. Yes they're siblings and they will argue no matter what the age but I would personally expect more from your son.

    Like the pp I quoted, once you set the ground rules, enforce then and if they are broken punish suitably (loss if TV, grounded etc etc)

    Good luck OP

    Sent from my GT-I9100T using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    Set clear boundaries & if he continues to pick on his sister take away his privileges to see his friends go anywhere & Internet & phone if he keeps doing it. That way he will feel as helpless as his sister does & lonely too without means to whinge to his friends about how "horrible" he would think you are being. & hopefully will learn not to antagonize his little sister. Being 14 be knows a heap better & is prob just being a little poop

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    Quote Originally Posted by sylvia1111 View Post
    14 year old brother is bothering 6 year old sister

    I firstly wonder how you would handle it

    eg talk to him about rules, respect, how he would feel,

    set boundaries that if it happens again then there will be consequences

    eg no tv no computer that night etc

    i also wonder if it can lead to a child choosing an abusive husband later in life as i've seen children who were abused by older brothers in the way of emotionally driven nuts constantly or being annoyed constantly, using their size etc to constantly drive the sister nuts whether it was playing soccer and basketball but constnatly taking ball off the sister and making her frustrated,

    i wonder then if they then go and marry a partner who will also abuse them in some way and give them that feeling of being constnatly frustrated.

    but either way i'm looking for how to handle it now as i dont think its fair or humane to just let it keep happeneing.

    i do tell them to separate but they like hanging around each other but then drive each other nuts at times.

    how much is normal, how much should i ignore, how much should i talk about and try to act on with consequences or praise depending on if they were kind of frustrating to their younger sibling. they are 14 and younger sibling is 6

    .
    Is he hitting her or just annoying her? I have understood he takes the ball off her etc but no hitting/physically pushing around? can you clarify?

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    Who's the mum? Where's the mum?

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    thank you meags82,jagamo and dancing chipmunk for answering the question with your helpful advice. thank you

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    jagamoe  (01-07-2013)


 

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