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  1. #41
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    mine got made redundant 1 1/2 weeks ago and is lucky he's still alive.

    For a start i get up with bub every morning and he sleeps in, his sh!t is everywhere and when I ask him to look after dd so i can work (i work 24hr week from home) then he sits on the lounge and watches tv, rather than engaging with her At All.

    Last week I decided to start treating him like a 5 year old and 'banned' the use of the TV except for an hour over lunch. So he went to his mummy and whinged that I was 'on his back' all the time.

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    harvs  (26-06-2013),Waggers70  (26-06-2013)

  3. #42
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    My DH is messy and absent minded. He will start a task, be sidetracked by something shiny, and end up building a model eco-house instead of mopping the floor.

    That said, he is a pretty great dad and a really good cook. I can deal!

    Sent from my GT-N8010 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  4. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by Waggers70 View Post
    I started this thread in jest but after the last 12 hours I'm starting to once again think about how I'd cope as a single mum. I'm so sick of broken promises. As some of you know my DS is a poor sleeper. He wakes frequently and doesn't grizzle but starts screaming straight away. No amount of shushing, patting, singing etc settles him, as within a minute his cries become hysterical and high pitched with breath holding between them. He can be soothed 9/10 times by being picked up carried and will often go back to sleep after about 5-10 minutes. But about 2 to 3 times a week he stays awake for several hours. Consequently I'm suffering severe sleep deprivation. I'm working 3 to 4 long days per week. DH keeps promising to help overnight but doesn't. I also do the lion's share of the housework - I do all the laundry, food preparation (including getting DH's. breakfast and lunch ready daily), most of the washing up, daily door sweep and care for our pets. DH does heat and serve the dinners I prepare in advance and usually does the post dinner wash up.

    He has promised so many times to get up early and take over DS care so I can get some sleep before work but in nearly 8 months has done this 7 times. Today I'll be going to work after 3 hours of broken sleep. My work is demanding - I'm a veterinarian. It's a challenge getting 5 minutes to eat lunch during my workday. One of my biggest problems is also trying to leave work on time - if an emergency arrives I have to stay. My last appointment is usually booked 20 or 10 minutes before closing. It's a long day for DH caring for DS too and usually I arrive home to an upset screaming baby and sometimes a crying DH who then gets angry with me if I focus on DS. My job is our main income source. We lost our savings in poor real-estate investments and paying for IVF.

    I'm just not sure it's worth trying to save our marriage any more. Sorry to be such a downer - just overwhelmed at the moment.
    Huge hugs to you Waggers it sounds like he's being terribly unreasonable. Would you be open to the idea of a house cleaner? It might reduce stress for you both. It sounds like your DH is realising how tough it is to be a stay at home parent. I think you need to clearly negotiate what your responsibilities are. Your job sounds full on and home isn't much better. DH needs to understand how you are hanging by your fingernails and step up.

    I truly hope you can find a workable solution soon xx

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  6. #44
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    Do what I did...book a flight interstate for 24 hours and say you're leaving baby behind?

    Do you have a baby monitor? Maybe on the nights you're working you just turn on the monitor in your bedroom, head into the spare room with ear plugs and a book and announce you're going to sleep now. I found things changed a lot when I started saying things by phrasing them 'I'm going to...'. I think I already said that to you.

    Can anyone else watch P while you work? If so, I would move him out for a week or so. He needs to know you're serious. I still think he may be depressed. My DH has a depressive illness which explains some of his behaviour towards me currently, but I think boundaries need to be set nonetheless. And you can't keep working in such a state. Once I said to DH 'even if you don't care about me, you should care about yourself, because if I'm so tired I have a breakdown or end up hurting myself YOU'RE the one who will be watching J 24/7!' There were some changes after that...

    I hope things are better today, and if not, well, hey, it's not like things will be that much harder if you go it alone. Maybe he needs to realise he's on borrowed time x

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  8. #45
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    Lol after nearly 20 years mine is getting better!!! When I found him his mum was ironing his hankies

    ETA I posted after just reading the first page, after reading your later posts I think it is totally unfair to you and he needs to understand the effect it has on you. He needs to make his own breakfast and lunch!! How old is he ?? 6 ??
    Last edited by Hootenanny; 26-06-2013 at 19:49.

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  10. #46
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    Yet people can't seem to accept I choose to be single. I really, honestly, do love it!!!

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  12. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by eMBe View Post
    Yet people can't seem to accept I choose to be single. I really, honestly, do love it!!!
    Same!!

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