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  1. #31
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    I'm not going to lie.... if it were me and DH missed the birth I'd be p!ssed! Actually, more upset, but it would definitely turn into full blown anger at some stage haha.

    Having said that, a lot of people thought it was strange my DH worked the first week after I had DD too. But to me it made more sense for him to use his annual leave when we were out of hospital and could be a lot of help/enjoy the time more. He still visited every night, was just gone during work hours. But he coped a lot of crap from family for it.

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    I would be p*ssed if this happened to me tbh. If I heard, "Oh, I'm so tired," I'd be thinking, "boo-freaking-hoo! All you're doing is sitting there observing... ain't no way you get to go home and take a nap!"

    Probably wouldn't care too much if not much was happening and he snoozed on the couch, but to LEAVE and go have a sleep? Sorry dude - if I'm having to stay awake AND be in pain, you're at least staying awake with me!

    I plan to homebirth, so that will mean DP can go snooze if he wants... but he'll have to stay in the house. If he left because I was too noisy, I would rip him a new one, I think.

  3. #33
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    Although he didn't leave me at hospital during labour (although he did when I was 9 weeks pregnant) he did sleep for most of the labour as, in his words, 'it's gonna be a long night', and I only just managed to wake him and had DD 45 minutes later. He then went home 2 hours later due to it being so exhausting 😒

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by upforroundtwo View Post
    yep I think it is just some peoples ways, I don't think it is malicious etc... It literally doesn't occur to them that the social norm would be to stay up and be tired etc.
    Exactly!

  5. #35
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    Ahaha, BIL went to play his league game while SIL was in labour and came back to a baby.

    My nieces partner went to pick something up from his mum's house and came back to a baby 1/2 an hour later (didn't know she was in labour).

    BIL went home to grab his wifes hospital bag and came back to a baby (she dialated really quickly unexpectedly).

    It's not ideal, but it's not the end of the world either.

  6. #36
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    There is no way in hell dh would have left me and risked missing the birth of our boys but I wouldn't have bothered if he had decided to leave for a while. I had a very long labour with the first, it was great he stayed but I did tell him he could go back to his mums for a while if he liked but he declined. When in labour with ds2 it was very short but had it been long again I would have encouraged dh to go home and be with ds1 for a while.

  7. #37
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    My dp, who has said that he's not going to make a special drop of the hat trip for me when I go into labour (though if he's already near he will be there - uni, two hour drive and not his biological baby so I understand), would at least stay in the room with me during my whole labour. I was up at the hospital for monitoring while he was incredibly tired and he slept uncomfortably in a plastic chair for me..


    Sent from my talky stick

  8. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by Meld85 View Post

    Before you say it - he is legitimately a really good guy. He is in no way a jerk.
    He may be a good guy but he's daft for thinking it would be OK to nick off for 3 hours in the middle of labor. Can't really be too hard on him though if the Mrs let him go.

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  10. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by αληθη View Post
    My dp, who has said that he's not going to make a special drop of the hat trip for me when I go into labour (though if he's already near he will be there - uni, two hour drive and not his biological baby so I understand), would at least stay in the room with me during my whole labour. I was up at the hospital for monitoring while he was incredibly tired and he slept uncomfortably in a plastic chair for me..


    Sent from my talky stick
    Oh Hun I'm not sure about this. Your DP is either your partner and loves you or he's not. If he loves you and has chosen to be with you even though you are pregnant with someone else's bubba, he needs to drop everything to support YOU in your time of need. He can't choose to be with you then treat you like a part time second rate girlfriend.

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    αληθη  (25-06-2013),saxonrose  (25-06-2013)

  12. #40
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    I would be devastated if my DH missed our baby's birth, and I'm sure there'd be some anger, too. We're having a c-section on Friday, and I live in fear of going into labour in the meantime and him not making it in time (third baby, first one came in a couple of hours so I have some basis to worry).

    Fortunately being there is really important to DH too. He cried when he saw our little boy born (his first) and it was the most special thing to share. He told me recently that when he came home that night to an empty house he sat on the bed and cried again, because he couldn't believe he had a son (we got together later in life and he'd had many years of being single). I can't wait to share the birth of our daughter with him.

    To be honest, I'd rather we don't make it to the hospital in time but are together to share it than I'm at the hospital giving birth alone...and I am really not the free birth type! When my DH is with me it just makes me feel like everything will be fine.

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