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  1. #1
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    Default Father missed birth

    So I have to ask cause this is playing on my mind.

    A few weeks ago friends of ours had their first child a little boy. We vista then in the hospital and last weekend were invited over for a visit at home.

    We asked how the birth was and the father said "oh I wouldn't know I didn't get to see it" apparently her labor was about 14 hours and at 12 hours he decided he was a bit tuckered and wanted to sleep in his own bed. Keep in mind the birthing suite had a sofa bed so he could of mapped if it was that bad but apparently it was too noisy with the nurses coming and going and the heart monitor.

    Granted the midwife had told them they had at least4-6 hours to go and he was planning to be back in 3 hours, my friend just suddenly dialated quickly.

    So my question is had anyone had this before? What are your thoughts? His wife just shrugged and had a laugh but you could of picked my jaw off the floor.

    Before you say it - he is legitimately a really good guy. He is in no way a jerk.

    He has been odd with timing like that though. Like if everyone was at a bar and dinner reservations were at 8 and it was seven and he was hungry - he would just order dinner and sit in the corner an eat it on his own. Wouldn't occur on him to wait the hour to eat with everyone else if that makes sense. Or sleeping was the same - he had us over before and just after lunch took himself off for a nap. We were like oh of your tired we will go home but his wife was like no please stay... Hour later he just comes back as picks up the conversation like he never left.

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    My labour was 28 hours and my partner slept in a cupboard for some of it :P

    I'd be upset if I was her but if she was happy to let him go she must of known there might of been a chance he could miss it all.

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    Lol, not on my watch buddy! If I'm stuck here the least you can do is sit there and look interested!

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  5. #4
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    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    hi meld85, do you think he might have some level of undiagnosed autism?? Im thinking just that he seems to regard his needs above others, and not feel like he is doing anything odd?? Otherwise he is just plain selfish. nice guy, but selfish. Marie.

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    I'd have been devastated if my DF missed the birth. Not only because he missed sharing it but because even though he may have been exhausted it's more draining on the mother and they need the support.

    When my cousin was induced at 2 weeks over the father missed it. He'd taken 2 weeks off from when she was 40 weeks (they lived almost 4 hours apart and had no license so couldn't leave at the drop of a hat).
    His work told him he wasn't allowed to miss any more time from work or he'd be fired, so he went back home.
    Fair enough if it was a career but he was working at a service station and quit a few months later after throwing a can of drink at the manager anyway...

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    Wow, my DF wouldn't be that selfish to go off for a nap while I am in labour! He wouldn't even dream of it. That guy sounds like a self centred jerk.

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    We are 37wks and my fiancée would never think of doing that even tho we live 5 mins down the road.

    Slack if you ask me and I would worry about what else he cops out on.

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    Oh hell no! My DP would be in for some serious hurt if he even considered leaving the room...but then mine has slept in a war zone before he could nod off anywhere. It does sound like a slight autism/aspergers issue as another member mentioned so may not be entirely this guys fault, just sounds a bit clueless and not very socially aware.

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    My dh would never do that, but my BFF's partner I suspect would be a little like that. I've said to dh that I wouldn't tolerate him or some of his things but it seems to work for them and that's all that really matters.

    Maybe he was more painful then helpful in the delivery room and once he was gone she was able to relax enough to let her body do what it needed.

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    This happened to me.

    I was 3 hours drive away from the father of my baby, he wasn't my partner but we were still very close and sleeping with each other.

    He was at my place when labour started at 10pm, around 2am we went to the hospital, I knew it was way to early, but I had 3 people staying with me and I was done with them staring at me. we got there and he was good, I had a shower and everything stopped!

    Around 5am we decided to go home, on the drive home he mentioned that he would go home, I was shocked, p!ssed off and not happy. I told him I was 6 days overdue, that if he left he would miss it. He assured me he would be back and left.

    At 7am I woke and I was in full blown labour, I called him and told him to turn around, he didn't he thought it would take time.

    At 12pm he still wasn't back at this stage I was p!ssed and said don't bother the baby will be here before you get here anyway!

    At 4:30pm my son was born, he wasn't breathing and it was the most frightening moment of my life!! at 4:50pm Dad walks in.

    Our son is now 3 and I still haven't forgiven him and I don't think I ever will.

    While I know we weren't together, we acted like we were and he promised me all through my pregnancy and before I even got pregnant that he would be there for me and he wasn't.

    My ex has aspergers but that's no excuse. His partner is now pregnant so I'm curious to know whats going to happen.
    Last edited by ~BEXTER~; 25-06-2013 at 12:07.


 

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