+ Reply to Thread
Page 3 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 45
  1. #21
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    454
    Thanks
    29
    Thanked
    111
    Reviews
    0
    Sorry for your loss x.

    When my father passed away my besties did not attend the funeral, they had their own things going on and I understand and respect that. Sure it would have been nice to have them there but it wasnt the end of the world. I didn't think they were being rude and I wasn't offended.

    They still provide me with a mountain of support and give me a shoulder to cry on to this day, that means more to me than attending the funeral.

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    172
    Thanks
    106
    Thanked
    99
    Reviews
    0
    I think its valid for you to be upset about it. Shes your best friend, its your parent, naturally you would like her support during this difficult time for you. And clearly you'd do the same for her (and have). Any human would understand that.

    I find the email to be a bit rude tbh. Couldnt she have called you?

    I'm sorry for your loss.

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    711
    Thanks
    440
    Thanked
    318
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by butterfly2013 View Post
    Im so sorry for you loss. I lost my Mum in January and I miss her so much.

    I would be upset but there may be an emotional reason for it. Something I figured out when losing Mum was that everyone handles death differently and some people are actually petrified of being around someone who is grieving because they really dont know how they should act. She should be there to support you but maybe she just doesnt know how to. She might feel if she opens up to you about it that you will think it shouldn't be about her and it should be about you. I agree she should be there for you to lean on and you should be annoyed but there might be something further going on there that you are not aware of. X
    I agree with this. She may not cope with death/grieving well and not feel comfortable attending. And I think that's ok. That may also explain the email - maybe she doesn't have the words to explain her non attendance in a way that could be justified by someone grieving?

    I've dealt with a lot of death, and have attend funerals as a sign of respect. But these days, I honestly feel that those affected should be privided the privacy to deal with a death & therefore wouldnt necessarily attend. If I was your BFF, I would certainly make plans to visit you ASAP to show support that way though.

    So sorry for your loss, stay strong.

  4. #24
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    33
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked
    10
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Pushie Parent View Post
    Sorry for your loss x.

    When my father passed away my besties did not attend the funeral, they had their own things going on and I understand and respect that. Sure it would have been nice to have them there but it wasnt the end of the world. I didn't think they were being rude and I wasn't offended.

    They still provide me with a mountain of support and give me a shoulder to cry on to this day, that means more to me than attending the funeral.
    good points

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Perth
    Posts
    8,544
    Thanks
    1,351
    Thanked
    2,307
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    I think I would attempt to attend the funeral of a close friends parent. Just out of respect . And if I got an email from my BFF saying she couldn't go , yeah I would be really annoyed. How impersonal is an email. Yeah I would be really crabby.

    Some people are just selfish.

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    3,666
    Thanks
    1,426
    Thanked
    1,431
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Very sorry for your loss.

    Unless I knew my BFF had a good reason, yes I'd be upset and offended. I'd do the same for her and would throw a sickie if I had to for the time off. It's about support and respect for me.

    I wouldn't however do it, or expect it back, for just normal/close friends. It's something I'd only genuinely expect from a BFF.

    ETA - I'd also be quite annoyed at the impersonal email. A true BFF should at least call about something so serious.

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    14
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    5
    Reviews
    0
    What a hard time for you, losing a parent is a huge thing, but I wouldn't be offended or upset.
    Just talk to her and tell her how you feel and accept her reasons for not attending whatever they are, don't lose your BFF as well

  8. #28
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    3,037
    Thanks
    1,498
    Thanked
    730
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Yes !
    ( my BFF was living in USA when my mum died .. She couldn't come .. But i went to her a month later )... Friends are so important at this time .. So sorry about your dad .

  9. #29
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    5,005
    Thanks
    1,052
    Thanked
    3,524
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    It wouldn't upset me. As you said she works full-time so likely can't get the time off. You can't take bereavement leave for that and annual leave is so precious and she might not have any anyway.

    I am sorry it's upsetting you though at an already very difficult time. I would prob chat to her about it - you will likely find out more details which make it hard for her to come (does she have kids?).

    xx

  10. #30
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    19,600
    Thanks
    3,256
    Thanked
    4,044
    Reviews
    8
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 posts
    I think I would be. I can't imagine what you're going through. sorry for your loss!

    Sent from my GT-I9300 using The Bub Hub mobile app


 

Similar Threads

  1. Disappointed but hoping.......
    By ontheway in forum IVF
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 28-03-2013, 17:17
  2. Disappointed :(
    By Wheaty in forum Pregnancy & Birth General Chat
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 12-11-2012, 19:11

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Fridge-To-Go Australasia
Xmas with a NEW Fridge-to-go Lunch Bag! Fridge-To-Go Australasia
Fridge-to-go 8 hour cooler bags are ideal under the Christmas tree! Now in modern lunch bag designs - fill them with toys and chocolate to make parents and kids happy! Stay super cool and eat healthy and fresh food all summer long!
sales & new stuffsee all
Pea Pods
Buy 2 Award Winning Pea Pods Reusable One Size Nappies for only $38 (in your choice of colours) and receive a FREE roll of Bamboo Liners. Don't miss out, we don't usually have discounts on the nappies, so grab this special offer!
Special Offer! Save $12
featured supporter
Pea Pods Reusable Nappies
Pea Pods are the smart choice when it comes to choosing what's best for you, your baby and the environment. Affordable and simple to use, Pea Pods keep your baby dry & happy. Visit our website to find your nearest stockist or order online.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!