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  1. #841
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    Very sorry to all those who've had BFNs in the past couple of days. It's such a heartbreaking journey, whether it's a first cycle or one further down the track. There's just no rhyme or reason why. Thinking of you all, and hope that next time is successful.

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  3. #842
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    I'm feeling really lost and confused right now. Finding out about a BFN is just heart breaking.

    To make matters worse, our FS didn't even call to convey the news yesterday, rather the nurses did. Is this the norm? After each embryo transfer (we have done 2 now) there is never a consultation/ face to face discussion, just a brief conversation over the phone - is this the norm?

    So I called our FS today and asked about the next plan of action and asked if we would do anything differently the next time. I was told that "these are very early days" and that only after using all embryos from four stimulated cycles would they begin to do other investigations because there are no alarm bells going off at the moment. That really shocked me, i almost thought i heard incorrectly! Thats seems like an awful lot of BFNs before looking into what could be influencing continuous negatives. Does that seem normal???

    I know there are stats out there based on your age about your chances of achieving a live birth and asked my FS what this was for me and they pretty much replied "its a matter of crossing your fingers". That gave me no comfort at all (esp just finding out we had a bfn yesterday!!) and left me speechless!! Seriously, am I over reacting??! I want your honest opinions here ladies...please

    After discussing things with the expert in all this I expected to feel a little more confident about embarking on another FET or potentially a stiumulated cycle but instead feel utterly and completely lost

  4. #843
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orchids View Post
    I'm feeling really lost and confused right now. Finding out about a BFN is just heart breaking.

    To make matters worse, our FS didn't even call to convey the news yesterday, rather the nurses did. Is this the norm? After each embryo transfer (we have done 2 now) there is never a consultation/ face to face discussion, just a brief conversation over the phone - is this the norm?

    So I called our FS today and asked about the next plan of action and asked if we would do anything differently the next time. I was told that "these are very early days" and that only after using all embryos from four stimulated cycles would they begin to do other investigations because there are no alarm bells going off at the moment. That really shocked me, i almost thought i heard incorrectly! Thats seems like an awful lot of BFNs before looking into what could be influencing continuous negatives. Does that seem normal???

    I know there are stats out there based on your age about your chances of achieving a live birth and asked my FS what this was for me and they pretty much replied "its a matter of crossing your fingers". That gave me no comfort at all (esp just finding out we had a bfn yesterday!!) and left me speechless!! Seriously, am I over reacting??! I want your honest opinions here ladies...please

    After discussing things with the expert in all this I expected to feel a little more confident about embarking on another FET or potentially a stiumulated cycle but instead feel utterly and completely lost
    I agree your FS's words wouldnt be filling me with confidence, 4 fresh cycles is alot to BFN to not do anything different?!? Have you considered moving to a diff FS in the clinic or a new clinic? They work for you and Id be asking for some changes. Any little tweak will do!!

    As for not talking to the FS in person or otherwise, its fairly common. I cant remember that last we spoke or saw our FS its always the nurses relaying the info.

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  6. #844
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orchids View Post
    I'm feeling really lost and confused right now. Finding out about a BFN is just heart breaking.

    To make matters worse, our FS didn't even call to convey the news yesterday, rather the nurses did. Is this the norm? After each embryo transfer (we have done 2 now) there is never a consultation/ face to face discussion, just a brief conversation over the phone - is this the norm?

    So I called our FS today and asked about the next plan of action and asked if we would do anything differently the next time. I was told that "these are very early days" and that only after using all embryos from four stimulated cycles would they begin to do other investigations because there are no alarm bells going off at the moment. That really shocked me, i almost thought i heard incorrectly! Thats seems like an awful lot of BFNs before looking into what could be influencing continuous negatives. Does that seem normal???

    I know there are stats out there based on your age about your chances of achieving a live birth and asked my FS what this was for me and they pretty much replied "its a matter of crossing your fingers". That gave me no comfort at all (esp just finding out we had a bfn yesterday!!) and left me speechless!! Seriously, am I over reacting??! I want your honest opinions here ladies...please

    After discussing things with the expert in all this I expected to feel a little more confident about embarking on another FET or potentially a stiumulated cycle but instead feel utterly and completely lost
    Orchids first I will say I know it's not much but I think you need them.

    I heard all our bad news via the clinic nurses and yep the one who told me was cold...I was a number, I was another BFN and they couldn't have cared less.

    I only saw FS 3 times, once for a scan, once at EPU and the last time was yesterday to get a script of him for FET cycle. Yep he didn't even do embryo transfer he was away on holidays :/

    I actually instigated this cycle I basically told the nurse I wanted to cycle straight away, I insisted I was not waiting 2 months ect.

    Orchids I get the same impression from my FS that he would be quite happy for me to do numerous cycles and just see what happens. they don't seem to factor in that we are normal people both on standard wages. Quite simply we can't afford to do heaps of cycles.

    I have already decided to chnage clinics after I use all my frosties (if we are still unsuccessful) as I really was unhappy with a number of things last cycle...maybe that is something you might need to think about too?

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    Orchids  (19-07-2013)

  8. #845
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    Orchids... I agree with Wishnhope, it's fairly common for most of the information to be conveyed by phone from the nurses and scientists. My FS does sometimes ring me with results or plans, but it's usually backed up by a nurse ringing and telling me the same thing. But I am glad he does this once in a while. But you're right, I found after BFNs I didn't usually get the phonecalls I was expecting - it's kind of like, well you're finished, and they move onto someone else.

    The first cycle tends to be the testing cycle for most FS in order to collect data to work out what to try next. I've found it's not really til the second cycle, once they've tweaked one or two things, do they have a better idea. It's not ideal, but unfortunately it's different in every single case. I really do suggest that in the meantime, you scroll through everything you can find, and make a big list of possible things to try, and discuss it with your FS at your next appointment.

    Perhaps give us a jog on what your issues are, apart from age, as some people on here might have some good ideas. Have you had a full range of tests? Is your DH's sperm numbers, morphology and motility normal? You got a transfer and a blast from your first cycle, so that's actually really good news, as not many women get anything to freeze. On that alone, I would say you're in with good chances next time.

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  10. #846
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    I've read that 60% of women will have success in 3 cycles, so if it hasn't worked in that time I think it's definitely worth pushing to have some further investigations, tests, etc.

    I've also heard of some other ladies who have taken their frozen embryos to another clinic when they haven't been happy with their treatment. I would think you would need to discuss your situation with a new clinic and then they can arrange appropriate transport to their facilities.

    I'd love to try again and again if we're not successful first up, but there's only so far we're willing to put ourselves into debt - I wish fertility clinics would realize this when discussing treatment plans!

    Sent from my HTC One X using The Bub Hub mobile app

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  12. #847
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arlais View Post
    I've read that 60% of women will have success in 3 cycles, so if it hasn't worked in that time I think it's definitely worth pushing to have some further investigations, tests, etc.

    I've also heard of some other ladies who have taken their frozen embryos to another clinic when they haven't been happy with their treatment. I would think you would need to discuss your situation with a new clinic and then they can arrange appropriate transport to their facilities.

    I'd love to try again and again if we're not successful first up, but there's only so far we're willing to put ourselves into debt - I wish fertility clinics would realize this when discussing treatment plans!

    Sent from my HTC One X using The Bub Hub mobile app
    Yes that's right you can transfer your frosties the new clinic will arrange it all once you complete forms with them. I actualy enquired however opted to stay where I am because to change over means a new referral for FS, waiting time to get initial appoitment with FS, any tests that FS wants to do ect..It took me 7 months to get to my first cycle and knowing my frosties are there I am as keen as mustard to try cycles with them.

    By 3 cycles does that include frozen cycles or is it just the fresh ones?

    Totally hear you with the money side of things. They seem to just assume we have money to throw at them. I received a bill for crinone last week $230 on top of the $3000 for the FET cycle. FET cycles don't include the medication costs I also received 2 x pathology bills for bloods from the last cycle. Apparently after your first BETA the other bloods aren't included in the costs either and MBF told me that after next financial year we may not be able to claim the costs back on our Tax either .

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  14. #848
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    Thanks so much ladies, as i read your posts i had tears ********* down my face...i feel really touched

    Well it sounds like we all receive most of the news from our clinic nurses. Mind you, most of the nurses I speak to are really lovely, but yes Sharelee, i've had the cold ones too before. I guess i just wish my FS had a bit more...whats the right word...humanity/empathy. At least to say "sorry it didn't work out this time" or something to that effect. And to give me more confidence than merely "crossing my fingers". We rely on them to guide us with options and advice because they have the expertise.

    The emotional rollercoaster we are all on is hard enough, not to mention the exorbitant costs. We don't have buckets of money sitting around to pour into cycle after cycle after cycle. I think i've surprised myself about how shattered i feel and this is only our second attempt. I really admire all you ladies who have been on this journey a lot longer than me. Your strength is truly inspirational.

    You're right MGC, we are very lucky to have come out with 3 x 5day blastys on our first stim cycle. The positive aspect to this recent cycle, even though it didn't work out, is that there were signs of initial implantation - which is progress from the first ET.

    As for our issues and if anyone can offer any ideas - endo (laparoscopy), uterine fibroid (myomectomy), amh 27 (great), HyCoSy (all good). DH: super healthy, above average sperm numbers & motility, 4% morphology (think this is the accepted average). We chose ivf and all 7 eggs collected fertilised naturally.

    Thanks again & to you all

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    Cue: Good Luck for your BT tomorrow, keeping for you to get that BFP! Milly888 and Francesthecat Im really sorry for you boththis whole IVF experience is so confusing and sometimes very hard to handle but stay strong your BFPs will come

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  17. #850
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    Had the BT this morning and it's as expected, especially now that AF has well and truly arrived. There was a very low level but they wouldn't consider it positive. It's possible it started to implant but wasn't a sticky one this time. I'm doing a repeat on Wednesday (when I was originally supposed to have the BT) just to make sure levels go back to baseline.

    Overall I feel sad and disappointed but it was our first cycle so we're just looking at it as a bit of a test run. We know I can produce the eggs, we know that we can achieve fertilization with PICSI, we know we can get a blasty to transfer stage and the hint of HCG suggests we can almost achieve implantation. So despite the end result we need to be happy with how far we got.

    Good luck to everyone still doing their cycle, I hope to see some good news! If not, I might see you in the Aug/Sept thread.


 

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