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  1. #1
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    Default Sssh Pat settling routine

    I have been trying the ssh pat routine with my 4 month old for the last couple of months and it still isn't working can someone offer any advice as to what I am doing wrong. When she shows tired signs (usually 2 hours after being awake) I swaddle her in her room and cuddle her until she just closes her eyes. Then I lay her in the cot and pat her to re-settle and gradually slow pats until she is asleep and I leave. The last couple of weeks it was finally starting to work but now she screams every time I put her down when I try to roll her to the side to pat her back she arches and screams. It's taking me hours to get her to sleep and she's never been a good sleeper ie 30 min naps during the day and still waking multiple times at night. The other night she slept in 2 hour blocks but it took me 2 hours to settle her to sleep each time she woke. I'm exhausted and so over it I feel like all I do is try and put her to sleep. I don't understand why it's not working?? What am I doing wrong??

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    DD was a cat napper during the day too!
    I would lay her down awake.
    If she grizzled I would pat and shh til she settled again, still awake though.
    If she started crying I would pick her up and cuddle her until she settled, laying her back down awake.
    It didn't take her long to learn that I was there for her but she was capable of getting herself to sleep.

    ETA I think it's important to let them wake up where they go to sleep, so of she is going to sleep in your arms when she notices that you're not holding her she freaks out. That's why I would put dd down awake.
    Last edited by atomicmama; 23-06-2013 at 10:28.

  3. #3
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    This sounds like exactly what I'm going through, i feel your pain!
    I have a 41\2 month old and I'm trying desperately to get her to self settle but i end up having to rock her to sleep and if i don't she gets overtired and wont sleep! She back arches also when i put her on her side... she does have reflux but it seems to be under control with her meds.
    We've been to residential sleep school, day stays and seen sleep consultants but still no self settling here, will be following...

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    Quote Originally Posted by redlipsandpearls View Post
    DD was a cat napper during the day too!
    I would lay her down awake.
    If she grizzled I would pat and shh til she settled again, still awake though.
    If she started crying I would pick her up and cuddle her until she settled, laying her back down awake.
    It didn't take her long to learn that I was there for her but she was capable of getting herself to sleep.

    ETA I think it's important to let them wake up where they go to sleep, so of she is going to sleep in your arms when she notices that you're not holding her she freaks out. That's why I would put dd down awake.
    How long did it take her to learn to do this? I thought a few weeks and she would have but its been months and now she won't settle at all when I pat her and gets so worked up after a while that even when I pick her up and cuddle she won't stop crying

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to Crumpet87 For This Useful Post:

    olismumma  (23-06-2013)

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    Quote Originally Posted by olismumma View Post
    This sounds like exactly what I'm going through, i feel your pain!
    I have a 41\2 month old and I'm trying desperately to get her to self settle but i end up having to rock her to sleep and if i don't she gets overtired and wont sleep! She back arches also when i put her on her side... she does have reflux but it seems to be under control with her meds.
    We've been to residential sleep school, day stays and seen sleep consultants but still no self settling here, will be following...

    Sent from my Transformer TF101 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    Hugs its horrible isn't it? What medication is she on? I've just started Nexium but she spits most of it out anyway. Yeah I hear you on the overtiredness it's a vicious circle.

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    olismumma  (23-06-2013)

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    A week. I also just saw that you're patting til she's asleep, I only patted dd til she was content so that way she was getting herself to sleep.

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    Quote Originally Posted by redlipsandpearls View Post
    A week. I also just saw that you're patting til she's asleep, I only patted dd til she was content so that way she was getting herself to sleep.
    Ok thanks I will try that

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    Oh I feel your pain! 4 months is the worst - google four month sleep regression. I never knew about it util I was in the middle of it.

    Persistence is definitely key. I found this age my DD knew much more what was going on and seemed to be so much more alert and aware. This definitely hindered her sleep.

    They definitely need to go to sleep where they wake up. Our paed told me that bubs going to sleeps in my arms and waking up in her bed is like us going to sleep in our bed and waking up in the bath tub! This could be why they wake up after 40 mins or so which is one sleep cycle.

    Try to use some sleep cues - I found this helped - but some sleep schools would disagree. Speaking of, they are a great resource if you are willing to go down that track. You could chat to your GP about it as you'll need a referral. There can be 6-8 weeks waiting time.

    They do come out of this difficult phase - I can attest to that! We had lots of sleepless days and nights but I persisted with the patting, going to bed awake etc I just wanted to make sure I didn't start any new habits that I couldn't upkeep and only used the ones I could.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Crumpet87 View Post
    Hugs its horrible isn't it? What medication is she on? I've just started Nexium but she spits most of it out anyway. Yeah I hear you on the overtiredness it's a vicious circle.
    She started on zantac but wouldnt keep it down, then losec liquid which she would make herself choke it up and the last month has been on increased dosage of losec tablets which i mix with water and add to her bottle. This seems to have done the trick as she is much happier :-)
    Im starting to think that self settling may not be for all babies as i have also tried leaving her calm but she lasts for a few minutes then cries out... which then turns into screaming if i leave her. And i do not believe in leaving a baby to cio

    Sent from my Transformer TF101 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    My almost 5 month old has always resisted sleep, so it was impossible to put her down awake, as she would start to cry as soon as we swaddled her or put her in her sleeping bag. We have always taken the approach of watching for tired signs and not keeping her up for more than 1.5hrs, but also started a consistent nap routine (bag, book, feed) about a month ago. Lately she is more calm at naptime, so I've been trying to put her down awake. Unfortunately, I have had no success settling her in the cot or allowing her to self-settle during the day , as she becomes progressively more upset, and I refuse to allow her to CIO. Tried 'pick up put down', but she just works herself up more and ends up not sleeping at all. Tried a nap time schedule, but she just got too overtired.

    So I'm continuing to trying putting her down awake when i can, but otherwise, i'm just doing what it takes to get her to sleep, which involves taking her for a walk or drive if I can't get her down in the cot. She sleeps relatively well at night, and She is also a happy bub, so we're taking the acceptance approach and trying to not stress about it.

    Subbing to hear from other mums of wakeful bubs and any other ideas.

  13. The Following User Says Thank You to ABigDeepBreath For This Useful Post:

    olismumma  (23-06-2013)


 

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